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Aero51
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Its probably fake. And yes I disagree strongly with the nerd stereotype. I have trouble meeting women because of my degree title alone (no its not in rapeology) - so I just dumb it down and say I am a writer or artist...
Perhaps your current lack of success in getting a date stems more from your generalisations of women than your chosen profession. In other words if you hold the opinions that for all women profession is a deal breaker and that aerospace engineering is not just undesirable but flat out repulsive then you've got some serious misconceptions that are bound to come across in other ways.Aero51 said:Go up to a girl and tell her your an aerospace engineer and time how long until she disappears.
Aero51 said:Go up to a girl and tell her your an aerospace engineer and time how long until she disappears.
I've dated a number of aerospace engineers. Have you considered that you might be approaching the wrong type of woman?Aero51 said:Go up to a girl and tell her your an aerospace engineer and time how long until she disappears.
ZombieFeynman said:I don't identify with being a nerd. Labels like that are silly. The show is probably bad, but its ok. Most shows are.
I nearly never volunteer my profession. If someone asks I say student, if asked for more I tack graduate in front. Only if pressed will i say I study physics.
I agree with Averagesupernova, I can't see this coming across well. Especially considering telling people what you do and having a discussion around it is a very normal part of meeting people. In my experience people do expect scientists to be above average intelligence but I don't see that as a hinderance to telling someone straight out what you do, if it comes up simply address it in a friendly manner like you say.ZombieFeynman said:I nearly never volunteer my profession. If someone asks I say student, if asked for more I tack graduate in front. Only if pressed will i say I study physics. Many people assume if one studies physics, one must be some super genius. I don't think that's true. I am not smarter than the average bear, I just spend much more time doing physics than them.
It wasn't what you do that put her off. It was the way you claimed, and then proved, that she wouldn't be interested. You told her there was a huge gulf between you, thereby driving her into silence. You basically drove her away by saying, "Your attempt to choose what I do to chat about was ill-conceived and doomed."Aero51 said:Me: Are you sure you want to know? It's really involved and highly specific. Its one of those things where if you are in the field its easy to talk about, but otherwise its foriegn to most people.
Girl: Oh cmon tell me.
Me: Ok... I am looking to research hyper-velocity projectiles. Maybe something in detonation propagation in supersonic/hypersonic flow. I'm also interested in turbulence too, so ideally my research project will encompass those concepts.
Great minds people though I think you both put it much more succinctly than me.AnTiFreeze3 said:It appears I have been beaten to the point... twice. But on a side note, if you really want to use anectodal evidence from a bar as a way to generalize an entire field as being unnattractive to women, then I suggest you call up your sociologist friend
No we find your conclusions at odd with reality as we've experienced it, then questioned you on the basis of that and still not been convinced by your conclusions after hearing your experiences.Aero51 said:Well, I don't know what to say. You're going to tell me not to feel what I feel based off of the experiences I've had. I think anyone knows that doesn't make sense. Perhaps you want me to produce every experience I have had on this subject? I can certainly do that, but it seems that the majority of you are convinced that personal experiences are worthless, which is sad, so why waste the time?
The nature of my argument is that the reason you've not had a healthy relationship is not that you study aerospace engineering. No amount of anecdotal evidence would convince me as such given my own experience that women are just as diverse as men and there is not a single attribute that is universally disliked to such a deal breaking extent. Couple that with the fact that I'm willing to bet that there are female aerospace engineers and male ones in a relationship I can't help but conclude there are other reasons you are single.Aero51 said:Its obvious we've had different experiance, considering I've never had a healthy relationship with a woman. Thatis the nature of my argument. Personally, I think our experiances may be uncompairable. Thats all Ill say
Disagree. Most stereotypes are stereotypes because they are observed patterns.Ryan_m_b said:Perhaps your current lack of success in getting a date stems more from your generalisations of women than your chosen profession.
I think you missed my point. I never argued that all professions are equally attractive to all people, that's pretty much the opposite of what I was saying given my point about generalisations. Yes for many people being a doctor might make a person more attractive than being a car park attendant but that's not universal and its definitely not make or break as Aero was saying. He did after all start this conversation with the comment that he can't get a date because of what he does implying that aerospace engineering is guaranteed to repel all women irrespective of everything else (made clear by his later post where a girl told him he was intelligent, articulate and attractive but she still walked away after he told her what he did).russ_watters said:Disagree. Most stereotypes are stereotypes because they are observed patterns.
"This is my friend Jeff. He takes care of baby seals for a living" works great as a pick-up line/conversation starter. In fact, I once used it successfully while Jeff was in the bathroom. Working the fact that I'm a mechanical engineer into a conversation has never produced good results. Amateur astronomer, on the other hand, does work reasonably well.
Well you didn't because you started by specifically saying aerospace engineering but regardless I don't think this is true either. I don't see that scientists have a harder time getting girlfriends and boyfriends than any other group.Aero51 said:I think you missed my point. I was saying science majors in general not mine. I have found it can be intimidating, affirmed when I asked that girl. Shes not the only one I asked, she was the first stranger though. Personally, I want to find a girl who isn't off-put by that..
Aero51 said:Its obvious we've had different experiance, considering I've never had a healthy relationship with a woman. Thatis the nature of my argument.
Aero51 said:I think you missed my point. I was saying science majors in general not mine. I have found it can be intimidating, affirmed when I asked that girl. Shes not the only one I asked, she was the first stranger though. Personally, I want to find a girl who isn't off-put by that..
Aero51 said:Go up to a girl and tell her your an aerospace engineer and time how long until she disappears.
lisab said:When first meeting a guy, revealing I was a physics major...
lisab said:But I take the same tack as you - it's a numbers game, if you meet enough people, you will eventually find one who isn't put off.
You don't get it. You're causing the experiences you have by being so sure it's the way things have to play out.Aero51 said:Well, I don't know what to say. You're going to tell me not to feel what I feel based off of the experiences I've had.
Aero51 said:Me: Actually, I'm a graduate student in aerospace engineering
Girl: Oh, wow! What are you studying within that field.
Me: Are you sure you want to know? It's really involved and highly specific. Its one of those things where if you are in the field its easy to talk about, but otherwise its foriegn to most people.
Girl: Oh cmon tell me.
Me: Ok... I am looking to research hyper-velocity projectiles. Maybe something in detonation propagation in supersonic/hypersonic flow. I'm also interested in turbulence too, so ideally my research project will encompass those concepts.
Girl: Oh, thats..ummm, interesting!
Me: It's ok, like I said its very specific to someone not in engineering.
Our conversation doesn't go anywhere after...
Studying science/engineering can have liabilities like this, I agree. Btw, just try to guess how hard it can be for a woman! When first meeting a guy, revealing I was a physics major was like a dude repellent.
Sorry, but you come across as condescending and arrogant in your description of how you conduct yourself. You make it sound like your major is the only one that a person outside of the field wouldn't understand. Do you realize how many fields have specialized knowledge and use words and acronyms that outsiders (that would be you) wouldn't understand? And the fact that you seem unable to explain what you do so that people can understand comes across as you either do not have the ability to do so or intentionally try to be difficult. I used to live near NASA in Clear lake, so aerospace engineers were as common as flies.Aero51 said:After a long pause (not really an awkward silence, just the topic ran dry) she asked me:
Girl: So, what are you doing
Me: Actually, I'm a graduate student in aerospace engineering
Girl: Oh, wow! What are you studying within that field.
Me: Are you sure you want to know? It's really involved and highly specific. Its one of those things where if you are in the field its easy to talk about, but otherwise its foriegn to most people.
Girl: Oh cmon tell me.
Me: Ok... I am looking to research hyper-velocity projectiles. Maybe something in detonation propagation in supersonic/hypersonic flow. I'm also interested in turbulence too, so ideally my research project will encompass those concepts.
Girl: Oh, thats..ummm, interesting!
Me: It's ok, like I said its very specific to someone not in engineering.
Ok, you're joking, aren't you?aero51 said:Girl: Umm..well... your not intimidating to *me*, but I could definitely see why *most* girls would be. I mean, your really articulate and its obvious your intelligent. You're attractive, that coupled with being smart can definitely be intimidating to *many* girls.
I clearly caught her off guard, feeling bad I thanked her for her honesty.
Aero51 said:Its probably fake. And yes I disagree strongly with the nerd stereotype. I have trouble meeting women because of my degree title alone (no its not in rapeology) - so I just dumb it down and say I am a writer or artist...
Evo said:Sorry, but you come across as condescending and arrogant in your description of how you conduct yourself.
You say you can't get a date, then describe your actions that drive women away, and we're telling you what you're doing wrong. What you do with the feedback is up to you.Aero51 said:You know what's interesting... A lot of you take this really topic personally. I really don't understand this.
I'm not trying to be arrogant, condescending, etc. I'm being myself. Someone asks a question, I give them an answer. What do you do with your life..this is what I do with my life...
Because you start by telling them they won't understand because it's so complex. Not really, you just make it sound complex. Admittedly not everyone has the ability to take a subject and explain the basic idea, it's is a skill.If it sounds arrogant that I answered a question, honestly, then I don't know what to say. Maybe I should be asking: what do you want to hear?
You don't seem to be able to see yourself as others do. Back to my answer above, it's a skill to be able to talk to people with different sets of knowledge. Fortunately, it is a skill that you can work on, and possibly achieve.The purpose of going out is usually to meet someone. You do that by talking to them and asking them questions. If you water down your answers, isn't that effectively being a phony? In turn, doesn't that defeat the purpose of meeting someone?
See above. Being able to explain what you are studying in understandable terms is a valuable interpersonal skill and shows respect for those you wish to converse with.More importantly, what does it say about the person answering them? If you water your self down as you answer someone, aren't you passively saying "I don't expect you to understand" without even providing them any insight as to what you do?! Too me, that's far more insulting than someone being very technical with their answer. I understand how the latter can overload someone and come off as overbearing, but I don't see how it comes off as arrogant.
Well, I must say you seem to have achieved your goal.Overall, I'd rather tell someone straight-up what the deal is and if they don't like it then they can go away.
OK. But how do you expect a girl to be attracted to a guy who makes a special point of planting this idea in her head: "I am undesirable. Girls hear what I do and split."Aero51 said:The purpose of going out is usually to meet someone. You do that by talking to them and asking them questions. If you water down your answers, isn't that effectively being a phony? In turn, doesn't that defeat the purpose of meeting someone?