- #1
tuco
- 4
- 0
I will evoke a hypothetical situation and will ask 1 or 2 simple questions. Excuse my english and writting skills, or rather lack of, it is not my virtue. You can also skip my babbling completely (recommended) and go directly to the SUMMARY.
---
warning: this is most likely waste of your time.
---After ship wreck Arnie, Hitler, Einstein, Sun Tzu and Enrique Iglesias find themselves on a deserted island. They have nothing but their bare hands, they are hungry and without a cozy place to rest in.Arnie, naturally, took the role of the group leader coz he's simply the strongest of the bunch, he never panics, and he's got a cool accent. So he says: "Ok guys we need a plan! Throw me a bone here, I am listening.."
Einstein says: "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?"
Hitler says: "Become strong again in spirit, strong in will, strong in endurance, strong to bear all sacrifices! Ein Volk Ein Reich Ein Führer!"
Sun Tzu says: "Calculate advantages by means of what was heard, then create force in order to assist outside missions. Force is the control of the balance of power, in accordance with advantages."
and when Enrique starts singing : "All I need is a rhythm divine.." Arnie knows he won't get anything useful from those four fools so he says: "You Ubermensch will go with the smart ass Jew and find us some shelter. You singing fag shut the f*** up already! You will go with the general and get us some food. I will go to check the island for any signs of life and stuff and we'll all meet here again before dusk. Agreed?!?"
*everyone nods in fear of the Pumping Iron and they go about their business.*
At dusk, when they meet again, Arnie shouts: "Report!"
Hitler says: "We are all proud that through God's powerful aid, we have become once more true Germans and we've found a suitable cave boss. And even if the entrance was blocked by a huge boulder, we managed to make our way inside. However, I have to complain about Einstein! I admit I was clueless what to do about the boulder and he was the one who came up with the ingenious idea of heating it up and cooling it down several times until it cracked and broke appart, but I was the one who had to make the fire, bring wood and water. He refused to help me babbling something about "arbeit macht frei" and something about a ray of light he was traveling on.. damn fool!"
Einstein smiles and replies: "Well, the only source of knowledge is experience mein Führer. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of others."
Arnie nods in agreement and says: "Das ist gut meine Buben! You did quite well .. for one german and one lesser german. So how about you Sun Tzu and Enrique? Was your mission a successful one as well?"
Sun Tzu says: "Killing the enemy is a matter of arousing anger in men; when we've met this very dangerous wild pig I told Enrigue that the pig said Ricky Martin's butt is much more sexier than his and proceeded to sing Livin' La Vida Loca. Enrique went ballistic, jumped the pig and broke its neck in a single blow. Needless to say that Enrique was so pissed and shocked that I had to carry the dead pig all the way back here. He was just checking his butt constantly, looking into the pig eyes and mumbling something about sad eyes or something. Hes a fag anyways .."
Arnie is somehow disgusted but since deep down he's a nice guy he wants to show some compassion. He pats Enrique on the back and says: "You did a great job by killing that dangerous pig Enrique! Whats the matter with you amigo?"
Enrigue doest even look up and still staring into the dead pig's eyes starts singing "Because Sad Eyes Never Lie, Sad Eyes Never Lie, Sad Eyes Never Lie.."
--------Now to the point.
SUMMARY: we have 5 ppl who worked together, each one according to his own abilities and according to the given task and momentary situation.Hitler: did almost all the dirty work
Einstein: moved no finger and used exclusively his witts
Sun Tzu: used his wisdom and did some labour
Enrique: is the hero he killed the pig! sang songs, was sad
Arnie: gave orders, did some scouting, he's the bossQUESTION: How will they divide the pig once its grilled? Who and why gets the biggest/most tasty part and who and why gets the smallest/least tasty part?------
PS nothing in this post is ment to be racist or degradatory, its just my sick "sense of humor". i hope i didnt break any rules and if so feel free to remove this post.
---
warning: this is most likely waste of your time.
---After ship wreck Arnie, Hitler, Einstein, Sun Tzu and Enrique Iglesias find themselves on a deserted island. They have nothing but their bare hands, they are hungry and without a cozy place to rest in.Arnie, naturally, took the role of the group leader coz he's simply the strongest of the bunch, he never panics, and he's got a cool accent. So he says: "Ok guys we need a plan! Throw me a bone here, I am listening.."
Einstein says: "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?"
Hitler says: "Become strong again in spirit, strong in will, strong in endurance, strong to bear all sacrifices! Ein Volk Ein Reich Ein Führer!"
Sun Tzu says: "Calculate advantages by means of what was heard, then create force in order to assist outside missions. Force is the control of the balance of power, in accordance with advantages."
and when Enrique starts singing : "All I need is a rhythm divine.." Arnie knows he won't get anything useful from those four fools so he says: "You Ubermensch will go with the smart ass Jew and find us some shelter. You singing fag shut the f*** up already! You will go with the general and get us some food. I will go to check the island for any signs of life and stuff and we'll all meet here again before dusk. Agreed?!?"
*everyone nods in fear of the Pumping Iron and they go about their business.*
At dusk, when they meet again, Arnie shouts: "Report!"
Hitler says: "We are all proud that through God's powerful aid, we have become once more true Germans and we've found a suitable cave boss. And even if the entrance was blocked by a huge boulder, we managed to make our way inside. However, I have to complain about Einstein! I admit I was clueless what to do about the boulder and he was the one who came up with the ingenious idea of heating it up and cooling it down several times until it cracked and broke appart, but I was the one who had to make the fire, bring wood and water. He refused to help me babbling something about "arbeit macht frei" and something about a ray of light he was traveling on.. damn fool!"
Einstein smiles and replies: "Well, the only source of knowledge is experience mein Führer. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of others."
Arnie nods in agreement and says: "Das ist gut meine Buben! You did quite well .. for one german and one lesser german. So how about you Sun Tzu and Enrique? Was your mission a successful one as well?"
Sun Tzu says: "Killing the enemy is a matter of arousing anger in men; when we've met this very dangerous wild pig I told Enrigue that the pig said Ricky Martin's butt is much more sexier than his and proceeded to sing Livin' La Vida Loca. Enrique went ballistic, jumped the pig and broke its neck in a single blow. Needless to say that Enrique was so pissed and shocked that I had to carry the dead pig all the way back here. He was just checking his butt constantly, looking into the pig eyes and mumbling something about sad eyes or something. Hes a fag anyways .."
Arnie is somehow disgusted but since deep down he's a nice guy he wants to show some compassion. He pats Enrique on the back and says: "You did a great job by killing that dangerous pig Enrique! Whats the matter with you amigo?"
Enrigue doest even look up and still staring into the dead pig's eyes starts singing "Because Sad Eyes Never Lie, Sad Eyes Never Lie, Sad Eyes Never Lie.."
--------Now to the point.
SUMMARY: we have 5 ppl who worked together, each one according to his own abilities and according to the given task and momentary situation.Hitler: did almost all the dirty work
Einstein: moved no finger and used exclusively his witts
Sun Tzu: used his wisdom and did some labour
Enrique: is the hero he killed the pig! sang songs, was sad
Arnie: gave orders, did some scouting, he's the bossQUESTION: How will they divide the pig once its grilled? Who and why gets the biggest/most tasty part and who and why gets the smallest/least tasty part?------
PS nothing in this post is ment to be racist or degradatory, its just my sick "sense of humor". i hope i didnt break any rules and if so feel free to remove this post.
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