How to attract a babe: The old school of thought

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...pi!

Banana Creme from Madonna Inn. Yumm...!

 

[jimmy p]

Quick Motai, there is no time to lose!

 

[motai]

*gets out his sack full of heavy doorknobs* Its Whackin' time.

 

[Math Is Hard]

LOL!

Just don't try dragging us off by the hair back to your cave. That really hurts!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Proof that this practice continues!

Recently a friend commented that he was going out clubbing that night! This was stated within a sexual context.

 

[null]

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Recently a friend commented that he was going out clubbing that night! This was stated within a sexual context. Ivan
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So if he were to do some clubbing (of other guys) in a club do you think that this would double the effeciency in impressing the ladies? (Oops just realized I'm not in the ask a stupid quetion ...)

Well I suppose since I am one (girl that is) I can say the answer is, probably not. However Monique,Jimmy, and MacTech did demonstrate an interesting twist showing the efficiency of the clubbing for the (supposed) victim for gaining female sympathy so there may be hope for this technique yet.

 

[Evo]

I would definitely go for the "clubee" as opposed to the "clubber".

 

[null]

Yup given the choice I too would have go for the "clubee", or on the other hand perhaps the tall, dark, and handsome brazilian stranger standing by the bar who was appaled by it all. Yup I thinks that's my favorite outcome.

Sorry guys you'll just have to come up with a new technique.

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by null
Yup given the choice I too would have go for the "clubee", or on the other hand perhaps the tall, dark, and handsome brazilian stranger standing by the bar who was appaled by it all. Yup I thinks that's my favorite outcome.

Sorry guys you'll just have to come up with a new technique.

Ooooh, I like null's outcome even better!

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Evo
Ooooh, I like null's outcome even better!

Why are you on the internet at 3 a.m.? GO TO BED! (I'm telling Mom!)

 

[zoobyshoe]

So, the anthropological truth may be more like:

Two homo erecti are sitting in a bar. First one says to the second one: "Wow! Ya see that babe who just walked in? Quick. Whack me on the head, and act mean.!" Second one says: "Sure, dude. Just don't forget you owe me."

 

[jimmy p]

the trick is to whack the appalled looking brazilian...

 

[LURCH]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Those crazy homo erecti!

Shouldn't that read "whacky Homo Erecti"?

So, I think we've proven here that natural selection favors those who are repeatedly beaten over the head. Explains a whole lot about the current condition of our species, don't it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by jimmy p
the trick is to whack the appalled looking brazilian...

No, that would just make him doubly appealing. Better to "acciently" spill your drink on him (those brazilians are proud of their clothes) so that he loses it and whacks you first.

Originally posted by LURCH
Shouldn't that read "whacky Homo Erecti"?

So, I think we've proven here that natural selection favors those who are repeatedly beaten over the head. Explains a whole lot about the current condition of our species, don't it?

Lurch, I think you're absolutely right. The thinner a guy's scull, the easier he goes down, and the more the women go for him. Thus Nature selects the smarter, (sapiens) thinner sculled, "clubee".

 

[Tsu]

If you guys would quit whacking each other in the head to get our attention, maybe we would quit thinking you act so BRAIN DEAD a lot of the time!

edit: not you, Ivan dear! You're DIFFERENT!

 

[Math Is Hard]

Originally posted by Tsunami
If you guys would quit whacking each other in the head to get our attention, maybe we would quit thinking you act so BRAIN DEAD a lot of the time!

Yeah - what a waste of time when you could just easily distract us with something shiny!

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Math Is Hard
Yeah - what a waste of time when you could just easily distract us with something shiny!

ROTFLMAOAPMP!

 

[null]

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Originally posted by zoobyshoe
No, that would just make him doubly appealing. Better to "acciently" spill your drink on him (those brazilians are proud of their clothes) so that he loses it and whacks you first.
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Good job turning that one around zooby, the brazillian turns out to be a superficial pretty boy and a brute, good to see some brain cells have survived the repeated clubings

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by null Good job turning that one around zooby, the brazillian turns out to be a superficial pretty boy and a brute, good to see some brain cells have survived the repeated clubings

Oh, I don't practise this courting technique myself. I'm there, behind the bar serving drinks, and on those nights when the "clubbers" have been dragged away to jail, and the "clubbees" have succumbed to their wounds and been taken to the morgue, I'm what's left to comfort the bereaved, tender hearted gal.

 

[motai]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Oh, I don't practise this courting technique myself. I'm there, behind the bar serving drinks, and on those nights when the "clubbers" have been dragged away to jail, and the "clubbees" have succumbed to their wounds and been taken to the morgue, I'm what's left to comfort the bereaved, tender hearted gal.

Or you could just whack the "clubbers" and "clubbees" and take the women for yourself... Just say the "clubbers" were trying to rob the bar and they already clubbed the "clubbees" to the ground.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by motai
Or you could just whack the "clubbers" and "clubbees" and take the women for yourself... Just say the "clubbers" were trying to rob the bar and they already clubbed the "clubbees" to the ground.

I have one word of advise for you, Motai: finesse.

 

[Evo]

Just one problem. The women have all become disgusted with all the males clubbing each other and left the bar.

 

[motai]

Originally posted by Evo
Just one problem. The women have all become disgusted with all the males clubbing each other and left the bar.

This entire situation seems like a modern day "stone age" way of "attracting" women. In the stone age man could club woman and drag her off to cave. In modern times, he does the same but drags her off to a bar. Then when other males get near his territory, a battle starts (complete with ugh's and miscellanious grunts) as they both whack each other with sticks and whatnot. The females recover from their unconsiousness and walk away.

As true as it was back then as it is today.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Evo
Just one problem. The women have all become disgusted with all the males clubbing each other and left the bar.

Best thing they can do for the men, really. Otherwise they'll never bother to rethink their strategy.

 

[null]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I have one word of advise for you, Motai: finesse.

Because there is nothing quite so smooth as a zooby in a polyester leisure suit (or perhaps a formal, evening polyester tux) offering a lady a martini and a sympathetic ear ! I didn't even know zooby's were allowed in clubs.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by null
Because there is nothing quite so smooth as a zooby in a polyester leisure suit (or perhaps a formal, evening polyester tux) offering a lady a martini and a sympathetic ear..."

Nope. Totally naked 'cept for one big, mutt-kicking shoe.

The sympathetic ear is right however.

I didn't even know zooby's were allowed in clubs.

As customers, no. Strangely enough, we're allowed to tend bar. I have no idea why that is.

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
As customers, no. Strangely enough, we're allowed to tend bar. I have no idea why that is.

It's the sympathetic ear. It's also well known that zooby's have a broad range of knowledge. Perfect bartenders. Personally I think a zooby might look good in a polyester tux! Nice contrasting polyester cummerbund... no shoes though.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Evo
It's the sympathetic ear. It's also well known that zooby's have a broad range of knowledge. Perfect bartenders.

This is probably it.

Personally I think a zooby might look good in a polyester tux! Nice contrasting polyester cummerbund... no shoes though.

Now I'm just going to spend all night having nightmares.

In these nightmares, I will no longer be a zooby, rather I will look into the mirror to see Mr. Potato Head looking back at me.

 

[Evo]

Mr Potato Head is the perfect man. Although I don't think he'd survive a clubbing. But that brings up other tasty options.

 

[null]

Originally posted by Evo
It's the sympathetic ear. It's also well known that zooby's have a
broad range of knowledge. Perfect bartenders. Personally I think a zooby might look good in a polyester tux! Nice contrasting polyester cummerbund... no shoes though.

Funny I would have said the fantastic martinis. Zoobies are famous for them you know.

Originally posted by Evo
Personally I think a zooby might look good in a polyester tux! Nice contrasting polyester cummerbund... no shoes though.

Evo I don't ever want to see nice and polyester in the same sentence again (shudder). Unless perhaps, polyester makes a nice accelerator when lighting a fire on a cold night in your zooby den.

I don't know Evo, given these options I think this needs a twist. *girl clubs the clubber, clubbe, brazillian, and the admittedly knowledgeable but primitive zooby behind the bar trying to set a mutt-kicking distance (wary of his posible desire to see flying pigs) record wearing no pants (I'm hoping there is at least a strategically placed leaf, if there is no leaf, I don't want to know ), drooling profusely. *

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by null
Funny I would have said the fantastic martinis. Zoobies are famous for them you know.

Actually our specialty is a drink called the flying zoobie.
Vodka, rum, goat's milk (unpasteurized) one ice cube.

Evo I don't ever want to see nice and polyester in the same sentence again (shudder). Unless perhaps, polyester makes a nice accelerator when lighting a fire on a cold night in your zooby den.

We make brush shelters and use no fire. Long, thick body hair keeps us warm. We also do not want to see the word "nice" in association with "polyester".

I don't know Evo, given these options I think this needs a twist. *girl clubs the clubber, clubbe, brazillian, and the admittedly knowledgeable but primitive zooby behind the bar trying to set a mutt-kicking distance (wary of his posible desire to see flying pigs) record wearing no pants (I'm hoping there is at least a strategically placed leaf, if there is no leaf, I don't want to know ), drooling profusely. *

I really can't make any particular sense out of this thought. The part about flying pigs really threw me. Anyway there's no leaf, but I always stand behind the bar.

 

[jimmy p]

How big is a zooby shoe? I have a new tactic...turn up late. That way all the clubbing has been done, you have easy access to the bar (dodging the clubbees...which is just about everyone) and you have all the women around you. So natural selection chooses the late-comer (STOP THINKING THOSE DIRTY THOUGHTS!)

 

[null]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Actually our specialty is a drink called the flying zoobie.
Vodka, rum, goat's milk (unpasteurized) one ice cube.

sounds zoobylicous (expect for the unpasterized goats milk, but I know that's probably how zoobies like it)!

Originally posted by zoobyshoe

I really can't make any particular sense out of this thought. The part about flying pigs really threw me. Anyway there's no leaf, but I always stand behind the bar.

Oh the flying pig comment was in response to your previous comment on how zoobies wear one big mutt-kicking shoe, I assumed this was in reference to Tsumani and her dog avator. Mine is a pig so if you would boot a mutt you might be prone to boot a pig, especially one that just clubed you, hence the flying pig. Ahh never mind on with the thread!

Ahh yes the ladies appreciate you standing behind the bar

 

[null]

Originally posted by jimmy p
How big is a zooby shoe

The size of a zooby foot of course, with an extra inch to account for the hairy feet.

Originally posted by jimmy p
I have a new tactic...turn up late. That way all the clubbing has been done, you have easy access to the bar (dodging the clubbees...which is just about everyone) and you have all the women around you. So natural selection chooses the late-comer (STOP THINKING THOSE DIRTY THOUGHTS!)

Its true I think that natural selection would favour the late-comer over those that arrived prematurly (I CAN'T HELP IT)

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by null
Oh the flying pig comment was in response to your previous comment on how zoobies wear one big mutt-kicking shoe, I assumed this was in reference to Tsumani and her dog avator.

Yes, but only because she went temporarily insane and rabid or something and attacked my leg. Mutt-kicking is not a habit, by any means.

Mine is a pig so if you would boot a mutt you might be prone to boot a pig, especially one that just clubed you, hence the flying pig.

Only if it just clubbed me, or otherwise launched an unprovoked attack. Anyway, I couldn't make heads or tails of your avatar. I have the primitive internet access system known as "web tv", and the 13 inch tv screen has poor resolution compared to some fine monitors I've seen. (Zoobies can't operate anything more sophisticated than web tv, anyway). So the hat or head dress or whatever it is threw me off in discerning the species of your avatar.

There is also that old saying: "When pigs have wings." I thought you were alluding to that, and couldn't figure what it had to do with anything.