Spiked Math: Owners Manual - Mathematician

Greg Bernhardt

Sorry for the lack of comics/updates lately. I'll sort out emails/messages shortly after I find my hat.





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micromass

Problem:
I asked my mathematician to calculate the volume of my living room. After a couple of days, he still gave no answer so I asked what he was doing. He said he generalized the problem to infinitely many dimensions, generalized the problem so it dealt with imaginary lengths, proved many fundamental theorems and is now trying to show that my living room is in fact measurable.

Solution:
Your mathematician is working properly. Please provide enough coffee to smooth the calculations.

Problem:
My mathematician is very dumb. He even has difficulties with seeing that every loop has an inside and an outside.

Solution:
Your mathematician is working as intended.

micromass

Problem:
My mathematician said he was an expert on topology. But when I asked him to draw a world map, he couldn't do it.

Solution:
Your mathematician is working perfectly normal.

Problem:
When I ask my mathematician a problem, he just sits down and stares at the window for hours. Then suddenly he grabs a pencil and starts scribbling things down. After that, he proceeds to call himself an idiot. Is this normal??

Solution:
This is normal behaviour for a mathematician.

micromass

Problem:
My mathematician doesn't understand normal english very well. For example, lately I said to him that my friend was a real smooth talker. He looked at me weirdly and asked how that derivative was defined.

Solution:
This is a known problem.

R.P.F.

Happens to me all the time. How am I ever gonna be able to live in a world where not everyone is a mathematician???

Jimmy Snyder

Problem:
My mathematician said he would bring an umbrella if it rained. It didn't rain and he brought two umbrellas.

Solution:
This is normal behavior for a mathematician.