A relationship poll - What you look/looked for

In summary: Even better is when she suggests alternate activities that don't involve driving 20-50 miles and spending $$, because that rarely resulted in "fun".

What you look/looked for befor jumping into a serious relationship


  • Total voters
    72
  • #1
rootX
479
4
This is similar to the "What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?" thread but I am making this bit generic.

I have come up with the following list of things which one might look for.

Culture
Ethnicity
Income
Interests
Profession
Sense of Humor
His/Her Opinions
Food Interests
Health
Age
His/Her relationship with the family
His/Her friends
Political views
Distance/Location
Other
 
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  • #2
You left off kissing aptitude :blushing:.
 
  • #3
lisab said:
You left off kissing aptitude :blushing:.

That could have come under sex life, but I wasn't thinking of sex when I made that poll :blushing: :cry: I wouldve voted for that too!
 
  • #4
rootX said:
That could have come under sex life, but I wasn't thinking of sex when I made that poll :blushing: :cry: I wouldve voted for that too!

:smile: I guess we'll put it under "other", lol...
 
  • #5
What about character??
 
  • #6
micromass said:
What about character??

what's that? :redface:

It should fall under His/Her Opinions I guess.
 
  • #7
Dave is not very particular
 
  • #8
opinions and sense of humour

others don't appear to be relevant imo
 
  • #9
Intelligence. Beauty. Integrity. That's most of it for me.

BBB
 
  • #10
I suppose any and all of those things can be important to some degree or other. I am not much of a family person. It does not exactly matter to me if a woman does or does not have a good relationship with her family though the type of relationship she has with her family may be an important issue. If her family is more important to her than anything that could be troublesome especially if she feels that she (and by extension I) must always make her family happy then I do not think I could handle that.
 
  • #11
You forgot the top two things I look for - intelligence and kindness.
 
  • #12
rootX said:
This is similar to the "What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?" thread but I am making this bit generic.

I have come up with the following list of things which one might look for.

Culture
Ethnicity
Income
Interests
Profession
Sense of Humor
His/Her Opinions
Food Interests
Health
Age
His/Her relationship with the family
His/Her friends
Political views
Distance/Location
Other

I think you left out the most important quality - attraction.

This isn't a homework problem, and love is blind.
 
  • #13
Ivan Seeking said:
I think you left out the most important quality - attraction.
In my life, if the guy is intelligent, kind and has a great sense of humor, his apperance doesn't matter. I've dated mostly what my girlfriends considered very ugly men. I saw only a beautiful heart and mind. The biggest mistakes were the attractive men I dated.
 
  • #14
Evo said:
In my life, if the guy is intelligent, kind and has a great sense of humor, his apperance doesn't matter. I've dated mostly what my girlfriends considered very ugly men. I saw only a beautiful heart and mind. The biggest mistakes were the attractive men I dated.

Just to be clear, I meant attraction in the sense that you want to be with that person, not attractiveness.

My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.
 
  • #15
Ivan Seeking said:
Just to be clear, I meant attraction in the sense that you want to be with that person, not attractiveness.
Ah, yes.

My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.
I think it might be for some of our members. :uhh:
 
  • #16
Evo said:
I think it might be for some of our members. :uhh:

That is my concern. :biggrin:

It doesn't hurt to be smart, but you have to follow your heart.
 
  • #17
And to the extent that you are guided by your head, and not your heart, make sure it's the right one!
 
  • #18
Ivan Seeking said:
And to the extent that you are guided by your head, and not your heart, make sure it's the right one!

+1...
 
  • #19
You forgot religion or lack there of.
 
  • #20
There is a factor that is quite important to me. Spontaneity and honesty. If a woman was calculating and seemed to want control, that was a deal-killer right out of the chute. I won't argue for impetuous behavior (not a good thing), but if a young lady would set aside preconceptions and engage in unplanned activities that might be fun for both of us, that was a big draw. I don't care if it was climbing the local "mountain" to hang out on the bluff overlooking the intersection of two major routes here and watch the traffic (with no prior notice) or just hiking through some farmland so I could take some pictures of interesting trees, plants (or her). When a young lady acts interested in what *you* suggest as activities, that's a pretty big draw.

Even better is when she suggests alternate activities that don't involve driving 20-50 miles and spending $$, because that rarely resulted in "fun".
 
  • #21
Well for me the most important is the sex. If the person is a woman she has chances, otherwise no.
 
  • #22
rootX said:
This is similar to the "What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?" thread but I am making this bit generic.

I have come up with the following list of things which one might look for.

Culture
Ethnicity
Income
Interests
Profession
Sense of Humor
His/Her Opinions
Food Interests
Health
Age
His/Her relationship with the family
His/Her friends
Political views
Distance/Location
Other
I think ethnicity and distance/location are strange criteria. A person is who they are, and they just happen to be where they are. Like Evo, I was hoping to find someone who was intelligent and compassionate (kind). Most other aspects list are a consequence of one's character. Of course, I dated women who were not too young and not too old, and generally the women I dated were the same age or older.


Ivan Seeking said:
My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.
I thought it was applied science. :biggrin:
 
  • #23
Ivan Seeking said:
My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.

Evo said:
I think it might be for some of our members. :uhh:

Time to make some engineering decision matrices :!)
 
  • #24
Astronuc said:
I think ethnicity and distance/location are strange criteria.

Actually, location was a factor that I considered. I was satified with my location and I did not want to move. However, I ended up moving anyway. So it was not as important as I thought it was.

Another important consideration that was left off the list is children.
 
  • #25
attentiveness, ability to listen, kindness, empathy, creativity, interesting, fun, animal lover and really really hot. Good looks are something that can be added later simply because the person wants the one they are interested into be proud to be seen with them and to know that they care about looking nice for them. Grooming wasn't mentioned either and although it's generally a given you'd be amazed at how many people are slack in this area. The right person also makes you feel safe and comfortable. They can be TRUSTED because they sincerely care. They will go out of their way to make you happy and you will do the same.
 
  • #26
in a person: all the "generaly considered good" attributes that have been said already. uy, and humbleness and ability to auto-criticize

in a relatioship: that feeling of complicity being above all other issues between the 2 of you; with how rough life is sometimes, that bonnie and clyde aura
 
  • #27
I like intelligent men, that are honest, and share similar interests with me.
I'm surprised appereance wasn't on the poll considering that's the first thing people notice when persuing someone. I feel shallow saying it, but I think we all know that it's true.
 
  • #28
Appearance is huge but being handsome or beautiful according to society's view is much less important because one can always improve this to whatever degree desired. People who are born with an appearance that is considered extraordinarily good looking seem to have a very difficult life because they are prized for their appearance rather than their "essence" and the ones I know personally have had multiple marriages and a lot of problems. Better to start out pretty ordinary and improve when you're old enough to know how little it matters in the grand scheme of things.
 
  • #29
Ivan Seeking said:
My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.

Evo said:
I think it might be for some of our members. :uhh:

Point - Evo
http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0009881#s1
A simple version of the second law can be written in terms of feeling and effort variables as the differential equation

(1)
journal.pone.0009881.e001&representation=PNG.png


with r>0 and a>0. Without intervention (i.e. c(t) = 0), Eq. (1) implies that x(t) fades at a constant rate r, specific to each relationship, which is a measure of the strength of feeling fading. This simple linear law is well-known to steer many natural and social phenomena. In fact, its discrete version was used in [9] to describe the baseline evolution of uninfluenced partner behaviour in short-term marital interaction. At any rate, Eq. (1) with c(t) = 0 is the first obvious working hypothesis for the decaying law of feeling. Effort enters as a recovery term in Eq. (1) counteracting the weakening of feeling. The parameter a obviously indicates effort efficiency. Selecting an effort plan c(t) determines the evolution of the feeling by solving Eq. (1) for x(t). Eq. (1) implicitly entails that x(t) changes smoothly, except at effort discontinuities.

The intensity of c(t) can be decided by the partners involved, in contrast to the level of the (non-rational) variable x(t), that cannot. The rational nature of the effort variable c(t) allows one to interpret it as a control variable in the scenario of optimal control theory [29]. In this setting, the controlled variable –the state variable– is x(t) and Eq. (1) is the state equation linking both variables.
 
  • #30
You forgot ability/energy. If she is the most intelligent and kind and funny and sexy person ever, yet is farting to couch and watches TV all day... ok, such person doesn't exist, you win.
 
  • #31
ihatesnakes said:
in a relatioship: that feeling of complicity being above all other issues between the 2 of you; with how rough life is sometimes, that bonnie and clyde aura
This is interesting. Could you expand on this? Also, are you male or female?
 
  • #32
When you think about it, it is pretty simple - if you take out more than you put in, eventually it'll fail unless the other party can and will just put in endlessly, which is pretty uncommon. And you can "bank" relationship points in case you need to withdraw extras later.
 
  • #33
netgypsy said:
When you think about it, it is pretty simple - if you take out more than you put in, eventually it'll fail unless the other party can and will just put in endlessly, which is pretty uncommon. And you can "bank" relationship points in case you need to withdraw extras later.

Possibly. It depends on what love is. If it is a type of energy, then clearly it's subject to the law of conservation of energy. But there's more than one type of energy and there is no law stating that any individual type of energy has to be conserved.

For example, when Jack goes tumbling down the hill and Jill comes tumbling after, clearly their potential energy has been converted to kinetic energy. But, eventually, they do stop tumbling and their kinetic energy has to have been converted into some other type of energy. Who's to say that at least some of their kinetic energy was converted to the energy of love, increasing their passion for one another.

Or, perhaps, love is a lepton. You also have to have conservation of leptons. So, if love is a lepton, what you say could be true ... except you also have different types of leptons and only the total number of leptons needs to be conserved.

What you say is only definitely true if love is a conserved property unto itself, but then you still run into the problem that there's also different types of love and only the total amount of love needs to be conserved - not each individual type of love.
 
Last edited:
  • #34
fluidistic said:
Well for me the most important is the sex. If the person is a woman she has chances, otherwise no.

A true nerd answer. That's what nerds look for in women... the woman part.
 
  • #35
So true, and our ladies say to grab the nerd before he realizes how hot he is - then you'll have a keeper for sure.
 
<h2>What is the purpose of a relationship poll?</h2><p>The purpose of a relationship poll is to gather data and insights about people's preferences and behaviors when it comes to relationships. This information can be used for research purposes or to better understand societal trends.</p><h2>What are some common factors that people look for in a partner?</h2><p>Some common factors that people look for in a partner include physical attraction, shared values and interests, communication skills, and a sense of humor. Other important factors may vary depending on individual preferences and priorities.</p><h2>How do people's preferences in a partner change over time?</h2><p>People's preferences in a partner may change over time as they gain new life experiences, mature, and evolve as individuals. For example, someone may prioritize physical appearance in their younger years but shift towards seeking emotional intelligence and compatibility as they get older.</p><h2>What are the most important qualities for a successful long-term relationship?</h2><p>The most important qualities for a successful long-term relationship may include mutual respect, trust, effective communication, commitment, and the ability to compromise and work through challenges together. It's also important for both partners to continue to grow and support each other's personal growth.</p><h2>How can relationship polls help inform relationship advice and counseling?</h2><p>Relationship polls can provide valuable insights into common issues and challenges that people face in relationships, as well as what factors contribute to successful relationships. This information can be used to inform relationship advice and counseling, helping individuals and couples to improve their relationships and address any potential issues.</p>

What is the purpose of a relationship poll?

The purpose of a relationship poll is to gather data and insights about people's preferences and behaviors when it comes to relationships. This information can be used for research purposes or to better understand societal trends.

What are some common factors that people look for in a partner?

Some common factors that people look for in a partner include physical attraction, shared values and interests, communication skills, and a sense of humor. Other important factors may vary depending on individual preferences and priorities.

How do people's preferences in a partner change over time?

People's preferences in a partner may change over time as they gain new life experiences, mature, and evolve as individuals. For example, someone may prioritize physical appearance in their younger years but shift towards seeking emotional intelligence and compatibility as they get older.

What are the most important qualities for a successful long-term relationship?

The most important qualities for a successful long-term relationship may include mutual respect, trust, effective communication, commitment, and the ability to compromise and work through challenges together. It's also important for both partners to continue to grow and support each other's personal growth.

How can relationship polls help inform relationship advice and counseling?

Relationship polls can provide valuable insights into common issues and challenges that people face in relationships, as well as what factors contribute to successful relationships. This information can be used to inform relationship advice and counseling, helping individuals and couples to improve their relationships and address any potential issues.

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