Chuck Norris Counts to Infinity Twice

[IMP]

Chuck Norris can exit a black hole with little effort.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris has to wear a underwear made out of pure lead or else the radiation from his genitals will make people pregnant.

(well if you want to watch it here it is

http://www.mmageeks.co.cc/2011/03/ufc-128-fight-videos.html

crocop vs schaub

Mauricio vs jon jones

these are the main two fights)

And here I thought radiation tended to steralize... Chuck Norris has mighty glow-in-the-dark sperm!

(I'll watch that, thanks!)

 

[DevilsAvocado]

Chuck Norris can exit a black hole with little effort.

Chuck Norris do not exit black holes, black holes exit Chuck Norris.

 

[Newai]

Chuck Norris do not exit black holes, black holes exit Chuck Norris.

... every time he exhales.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris has a black hole in his beard, where he disposes of the bodies...

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris can take a bath without getting wet!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Chuck Norris can breathe without taking in air.

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris can breath without his lungs!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Chuck Norris can think without his brain.




Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick without his legs.

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick without his enemy being there!

 

[DevilsAvocado]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y"

 

[pallidin]

What's all this fascination with Chuck Norris??
He's a skinny man that doesn't even come close to looking intimidating.
On top of that he has bad breath and his nose looks funny.

Uh oh... wait, he's knocking at my door. I have to leave.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

We're never going to hear of pallidin again.

 

[cobalt124]

That's not Chuck Norris. Too slow. You got to finish your post.

 

[pallidin]

Uhhhhh,,,aagggg. Hey guys(panting breath) He just beat me like a sadistic massage therapist.
I take, aaggg, back, aaaagggg, everything I said.

 

[Four]

The fastest way to a mans heart is Chuck Noriss's fist

 

[ideasrule]

Does anybody know about Gauss Facts? http://www.gaussfacts.com/

 

[Four]

"Gauss uses the squeeze theorem on oranges whenever he wants juice."

 

[cheesecakes]

A tautology's truth depends on Chuck Norris' approval.

 

[flyingpig]

If Bruce Lee was alive, Chuck Norris jokes wouldn't exist

 

[IMP]

 

[RunSwimSurf]

http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/internet-memes-no-one-declines.png

 

[Kholdstare]

http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/internet-memes-no-one-declines.png

lol!

 

[dlgoff]

Much taller then Norris who is lucky if he's 5'10".

Dragging up this old thread make me want to get my daughter to do some butt kicking. In my opinion, I don't think height is that important in butt kicking. Here's a pic of my 5'7'' daughter, who's taller than Master Vega on her right.

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg207/scaled.php?server=207&filename=tmp9314.jpg&res=medium


BTW:

...Master Vega holds a 7th Dan with the International Taekwon-Do Federation, 6th Dan in O.S.C. Ho Sin Sool (Street Self Defense), 5th Dan in Korean Hapkido, 5th Dan in World Taekwon-Do Federation ,4th Dan in O.S.C. Mu Ki-Do (Korean weapons) and a Black Belt in Judo.

http://www.osckmaitf.com/1501.html

 

[Kholdstare]

No matter what you say, it won't change the fact that Chuck Norris still owns them all. You can't change laws of nature.

 

[Kholdstare]

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

 

[Kholdstare]

Chuck Norris remembers the future.

 

[Kholdstare]

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

 

[Carlid7]

Death stalks everyone and wins eventually.

Chuck Norris will kill you all anyway, without the need for such mundane processes as life has.

And I can't be bothered to check them all, and besides I made up that last one so if it has happened, cool, great minds think alike.

When Chuck Norris bench presses he does not put weight on the bar, he bench presses the Earth.