My conversation with a six year old

Math Is Hard

@ dduardo, Monique, Evo and AverageSuperaNova: I’ve only seen one episode of Catdog, unfortunately. I don’t have cable. I thought it was brilliant, though. I remember cat and dog were joined at the middle, but I didn’t realize there was any sibling relationship! I have seen a couple of Bill Cosby’s “Kid’s Say the Darndest Things”, but I don’t think they were quite as hilarious as the repeats I’ve seen of the Art Linkletter original show. I used to have his book, too. The funniest responses from the kids were when they would say something that would mortify their parents. Heh heh heh

@Zoob: I don’t remember which thread Vermin showed up in. I think there were a couple. His real name was Vernon, but he was definitely a garden pest.

@gale: Wow – your Barbies were really nice to each other. Mine were more spiteful. Of course, I had five Barbies and only one Ken, so there was competition for a limited resource involved.

@ hypatia: Birdseed? Oh, how sweet!! I love how little kids use logic, and how completely honest they are.

@ TSA: see, the ladies of all ages find you irresistible! That reminds me of the time I brought my boyfriend home when my sister was about 4. She kept toddling over to him and patting his knee and smiling at him. Totally hitting on my guy!!!

@ Cyrusabdollahi: That’s hilarious! I hope you are working out!!!! Could be big trouble!

@Moonbear: Do you think it could have been that simple? Hey, I’m not taking any chances – even if did have to put up with a little squeeze and tickle from the pervy mall Santa!

-Job-

I remember seeing Bill Cosby's version. I always thought it was funny when 4 or 5 year olds would start out with things like "when i was a kid..." or "when i was young".

Gale

hahaha, same here actually. one ken and... 5 barbies... haha, weird. actually i had 3 barbies and two theresas. i never liked the barbies much, (i'm a brunette) but my first doll was a barbie, as was my second. One was Ms. America Barbie, so she was older than the others, so she became a mum. my other barbie i broke on accident and didn't play with much after that, but she was ms. america's disabled daughter. Then i got theresa, so she and the daughter were friends, but then i got another theresa, (who i named patricia cause you can't have dolls with the same name!) and a ken, (Cool Shaving fun ken, OH YAH! he was hot!!) and he looked a lot like patricia, so i made them siblings. but i only had one mum barbie, so ms. america became their mum too. Then theresa dated ken, and became best friends with patricia, and i'd sometimes play with the mum, but she was kinda snooty, (ms. america and all) so she just kinda sat around and said pleasant things and looked pretty... her disabled daughter was always in the hospital or something. Finally i got Vet Barbie.. who was blonde, and was only seen when ken, (who i just remembered wasn't named ken, i renamed him... umm.. joel? cause my sister's ken doll was named ken, no same names) and theresa's puppy or kitten got sick.

Anyway, yep, they all lived quite happily. i really loved my patricia though, and always felt bad that she didn't have a boyfriend. sometimes i'd steal my sister's extra ken doll, but then he and patricia would date, but they'd always break up when my sister stole him back. Mr. right was out there somewhere though. Her brother and theresa always let her tag along though, oh yeah! and then theresa and jared actually i think it was, had a baby. His name was sam, and patricia got to baby sit a lot. she loved kiddies! and then grandma got into playing a lot more too, (i lost her ms. america uniform, so she looked less prestigious and more playful.) and she'd and patricia would play fun stuff while theresa and jared were out and about.

Mk

They continue to reject the idea that they can't all share.

QuantumTheory

To the author: Is your name really Jessica? So I assume you're a women? I'm a bit confused why she asked if you had a husband..

Math Is Hard

LOL!!! I totally forgot about that. Yeah, kids do that all the time. My brother used to say that when he was about five.. "when I was little.."
Wow, Gale! Your Barbies had such complex lives. I needed to draw an org chart to keep it all straight. What an imaginative kid you were! I think that's very cool. I never put that much thought into it. Well, except for the time Barbie IV was dating Ken and talking trash about the other Barbies. She ended up strapped to an ant hill and covered with honey. Poor thing.
Trust me. Ken didn't have a lot of love to go around. I've seen him naked.
Yes, I'm really a woman and a Jessica. The little girl thought that because I was a grown up woman that I must certainly have a husband - so where was he? I remember when I was a kid, my mom would introduce me to married couples and the first thing I would ask is "where are your children". That's just the way my logic worked at that time: husband + wife = kids.
Kids have their own special logic.

Gale

Kids logic was the best. I was always really complex though. I overthank everything! i remember one time, it was raining really really hard, and my siblings and i were scared our house would flood. so my sister, (5 years older than me, probably like 11ish at the time,) suggested we all go upstairs and onto my bunkbed. the highest place would be safest. then, the 4 of us are huddled on my bed, and i get to thinking... if the rains falls from the sky... won't it hit us first if we're in the highest place? and then, the whole upper floor will fill first, until finally it sinks to the lower floors. I explained this too my siblings, and we immediately decided that the basement was the safest place to be in case of a flood. i believe i eventually realized the truth of the situation a bit later, and we all returned to my bed, with my sister at first feeling superior, (cause she was right) until i asked her why she believed my idea in the first place. she shut up.

At any rate, as far as barbies went... my little sister would get really peeved when we'd play... i'd always make her set up the scene before we began, and explain what all her characters were doing together. and then we had to pic a theme for the days adventure, and then set everything up accordingly. She'd usually quit before i'd even finished building my house. she'd come back later though... she always came back. and boy was she jealous of my scenery and storyline then! oh yes!

emrandel

Naturally one would assume, because they are young their mind is clear of corruption and they can easily and truthfully evaluate a situation. One is wrong. In this horrible world we live in there are so many negative influences on ones mind that any "genius" that was to be born and raised who could of changed the world was probably lost in the world of media and other bull ****.

FIGHT THE MAN! FREE YOUR MIND!

zoobyshoe

Pretty hilarious. I love the logic.

Math Is Hard

I think the age of five was when I was at my most intellectually honest. It's been all downhill from there.

You're killing me, Gale!

Bladibla

Kids arn't cute. Polar bear cubs are.

TheStatutoryApe

I'm begining to think that this sort of thing is genetically programmed into women.
I had the unfortunate experience of watching a dating show on MTV. It involved five women/men who waited in a tour bus whiel one of them went out and hung out with the one male/female who was the date. The whole scenario isn't important to what I'm getting at though. When the guys were in there they all hung out and became friends and may have made some friendly competitive comments but the women.... The women were always nice to one another until one of them left then the four still in the bus would immediately start talking trash on who ever just left. It reenforced my perception of women being evil.

Math Is Hard

I think I agree with you on this. wow. I'm evil. I think I really hate myself now.

zoobyshoe

Start a thread: "I'm evil and I really hate myself now."

TheStatutoryApe

Glad I could help you out with that.

Math Is Hard

Tempting. Very tempting.

Math Is Hard

I had to follow up my Santa visit with an email - just for good measure. I wanted to be very, very clear about my list this year. So I went to this wonderful site, www.emailsanta.com. Santa wrote me back within seconds. Here's what he had to say: