Favourite Quotes

Njorl

"I would never belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member." Groucho

Richard Kimble:I didn't kill my wife!
Marshall Girard:I don't care.
from the movie "The Fugitive"

"You'll shoot your eye out." Multiple people in "A Christmas Story"

"But ... these go to eleven. That's one louder." - "Spinal Tap"

"Who remembers the Armenians?" - Hitler

"Just as sore eyes cannot stand light, and prefer darkness, so it is with the body politic in times of trouble and humiliation. " -Plutarch, Life of Phocion

Njorl

jimmy p

"Dogbert: If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Dilbert: But I'm allergic to citrus.
Dogbert: If life give you lemons, swell up and die."

Kerrie

Quote by jimmy p

A good quote is from Maynard James Keenan.

"Today's woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a "real" man."

However one of my fav's has to be:

"Eat well, stay fit, die anyway."

or this one from Robin Williams....

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

love maynard's lyrics

and Robin Williams is one of the most brilliant comedians ever.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~
Lily Tomlin

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~
Lily Tomlin

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. ~Frank Leahy

quddusaliquddus

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~
Lily Tomlin"

LOL ... never thought of it like that!

Robert Zaleski

When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"The future ain't what it use to be"

Both attributed to Yogi Berra

motai

Marge: "Bart! You cant tell God to kill Sideshow Bob!"
Homer: "Yeah, do you own dirty work!"

hehe

Ebolamonk3y

"[Alone] I like, at times, to hear The Ancient's word,
And have a care to be most civil:
It's really kind of such a noble Lord
So humanly to gossip with the Devil!" - Mephistopheles -- Faust

tribdog

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." ~Morpheus
"The body cannot live without the mind." ~Morpheus
"Guess who watched "The Matrix" last night?"~Tribdog

RBS_5

Never decide to buy something while listening to the salesman.

If there is an opportunity to make a mistake, sooner or later the mistake will be made.

Being sure mistakes will occur is a good frame of mind for catching them.

Check the answer you have worked out once more -- before you tell it to anybody.

When in doubt, mumble.
When in trouble, delegate.
When in charge, ponder.

~Murphy's Laws

swansont

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
Maj. Gen. John Sedgewick, killed by a sniper in 1864 at the battle of Spotsylvania

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that the English language is as pure as a crib-house whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
James D. Nicoll

English was a language invented by Norman invaders to pick up
Anglo-Saxon barmaids. It retains much of this character.

Only crackpots think the plural of anecdote is evidence

Ivan Seeking

How do you get a giant squid through a revolving door? - Lazo-Wasem, Zoologist

http://leisure.newstimes.com/story.php?id=65188

Now there's a problem that I never considered.

The Bob

'The only way to improve at something is to start from the beginning and work up again.'
- The Bob (unless anyone knows someone who said it first)

The Bob (2004 ©)

The_Professional

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life - daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."

-Victor Frankl

Gokul43201

Quote by The_Professional

"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us."
-Victor Frankl

Riddle : What came first, the Frankl or the JFK ?

They were contemp's, weren't they ?

Janitor

Said by a weary wife in Chicago:

Da Bulls. Da Bears. Da-vorce.

Janitor

Said by Coach Frank Kush after his placekicker missed a field goal that would have won the game:

He couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a handful of popcorn.

Moonbear

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns

I just came across this one recently and really thought it was great (George Burns was such a great comedian).

There are some more serious ones I'm fond of, but I'd have to look them up to get them right.

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jimmy p Recognitions: Gold Member	"Dogbert: If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Dilbert: But I'm allergic to citrus. Dogbert: If life give you lemons, swell up and die."

quddusaliquddus	"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~ Lily Tomlin" LOL ... never thought of it like that!

Robert Zaleski	When you come to a fork in the road, take it." "The future ain't what it use to be" Both attributed to Yogi Berra

motai	Marge: "Bart! You cant tell God to kill Sideshow Bob!" Homer: "Yeah, do you own dirty work!" hehe

Ebolamonk3y	"[Alone] I like, at times, to hear The Ancient's word, And have a care to be most civil: It's really kind of such a noble Lord So humanly to gossip with the Devil!" - Mephistopheles -- Faust

tribdog	"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." ~Morpheus "The body cannot live without the mind." ~Morpheus "Guess who watched "The Matrix" last night?"~Tribdog

The Bob	'The only way to improve at something is to start from the beginning and work up again.' - The Bob (unless anyone knows someone who said it first) The Bob (2004 ©)

Janitor Recognitions: Science Advisor	Said by a weary wife in Chicago: Da Bulls. Da Bears. Da-vorce.

Moonbear Recognitions: Gold Member Science Advisor Staff Emeritus	"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns I just came across this one recently and really thought it was great (George Burns was such a great comedian). There are some more serious ones I'm fond of, but I'd have to look them up to get them right.