Lame Jokes

Mk

ROFLCOPTERS!! This one deserves a 3x3!




And the Jose and Hose B one!!!!

jimmy p

ROFLCOPTERS at ROFLCOPTERS! Have a 3x3 for yourself!






I'm going to have to use roflcopters in as many conversations as I can now.

Have you heard about the latest male contraceptive pill?
You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

Mk

Yeah, somebody vandalized a Wikipedia article, the rofl one, and it said that roflburgers and roflcopters are meant to be super-rofl's.

Roh-fuhl-copters (as in helicopters)

Ha, now I say it.

jimmy p

What is black and brown and looks great on a lawyer?

A Doberman.

Ivan Seeking

Did you hear about the iron worker who walked into a bar?

Or did I tell that one already?

Mk

Ay! Ivan! Where's your Oppenhimer and Kaku quotes?

Ivan Seeking

on gas station restroom walls, all over Oregon.

Mattara

Some computer users require a bit of hand holding. Others deserve to have them cut off and stuffed up their... well.....

Once upon a time I was doing a support call -

"... Ok, now type cd space..."

sounds heard from the user: "click click, clickclickclickclickclick"

"... um, excuse me sir, what did you just type?"

"cd space."

"... nononononono, space BAR, space BAR!"

"ahhh. clickclickclick."

"... nononononNONO!, the space bar! that big horizontal thing at the bottom middle of the keyboard! Hit delete."

"ahh. Why? How will delete help?"

"It'll abort what you just typed. Just hit it."

"Click. OK."

"... Great, now type ... cd ... SPACEBAR..."

Lots of clicking noises, I decided to ignore for the nonce....

"... slash"

"Slash?"

"... yes, it's the key below the question mark."

"Ah.... "

"... and hit return."

:silence: "click click click click click click"

"Noooo! Noooo! the return key! the return *key*!"

"I don't have a return key."

"Alright, ENTER, then."

"Enter what?"

:under my breath: "the gates of hell." "The ENTER key, hit it please."

"Ah. Hokay, it says file not found."

"What?!!! - listen, what do you do there at XYZ Inc?"

"I am system administrator for whole network."

"Do you have a secretary or someone there I could talk to?
You see, we've got another couple hundred letters to type and I don't
have that kind of credit with Ma bell..."

I sent him a copy of typing tutor that day. FedEx. I then called in
sick for the rest of the week, hoping to avoid further blood pressure
problems.

Friday he called in, asks for me specifically. Seems he needed help
on getting typing tutor installed!!!!

BobG

The only reason computer support staff have such a hard time is because computer software engineers don't know how to write good error messages. A good computer would provide an error haiku. Some examples:

Wind catches lily,
scattering petals to the ground.
Segmentation fault.


With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence
File not found.


First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.


You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.


Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, reboot.
Order shall return.


Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.


No keyboard present.
Press F1 to continue.
Zen engineering.


Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

Ivan Seeking

Did you hear about the gay internet?

Just type C:[Enter]

Mk

Here's a good one I made myself:

If God had meant for man to count higher than 1,048,575, he would have given him more fingers and toes.

Mattara

What does a lemon strapped to a wheel look like? A car!

star.torturer

very popular with windows

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

http://www.rickyseabra.com/windows_haiku.html

Did you hear about the fish that went deaf?
He had to buy a herring-aid.

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?
No thanks, I'm stuffed.

i could bring an end to this topic, by posting this link http://rinkworks.com/jokes/

@MK: oh but what about 12345678910, thats easy to count using your fingers

wolram

I can never remember jokes, where any of these funny?

Physics_wiz

Why did the monkey fall off the tree?

Because it was dead.

siddharth

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

Rach3

That's not a derivative, that's a differential.