Register to reply

Lame Jokes

by quddusaliquddus
Tags: jokes, lame
Share this thread:
Ivan Seeking
#163
Feb19-06, 03:09 AM
Emeritus
Sci Advisor
PF Gold
Ivan Seeking's Avatar
P: 12,500
Did you hear about the gay internet?

Just type C:[Enter]
Mk
#164
Feb19-06, 03:12 AM
P: 2,056
Here's a good one I made myself:

If God had meant for man to count higher than 1,048,575, he would have given him more fingers and toes.
Mattara
#165
Aug1-06, 07:46 AM
P: 398
What does a lemon strapped to a wheel look like? A car!
star.torturer
#166
Aug1-06, 09:02 AM
P: 69
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
very popular with windows

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

http://www.rickyseabra.com/windows_haiku.html

Did you hear about the fish that went deaf?
He had to buy a herring-aid.

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?
No thanks, I'm stuffed.

i could bring an end to this topic, by posting this link http://rinkworks.com/jokes/

@MK: oh but what about 12345678910, thats easy to count using your fingers
wolram
#167
Aug1-06, 09:57 AM
PF Gold
wolram's Avatar
P: 3,684
I can never remember jokes, where any of these funny?
Physics_wiz
#168
Aug1-06, 12:18 PM
P: 231
Why did the monkey fall off the tree?

Because it was dead.
siddharth
#169
Aug1-06, 12:23 PM
HW Helper
PF Gold
siddharth's Avatar
P: 1,197
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
Rach3
#170
Aug1-06, 12:43 PM
Rach3's Avatar
P: 318
Quote Quote by BobG
What's so funny about the first derivative of:

[tex]f(x)=\frac{r^3}{3}[/tex]

In white:

f'(x)= (3r^2)/3*dr = r^2 dr = r r dr = r dr r

(From The Simpsons, episode number 2)
That's not a derivative, that's a differential.
Rach3
#171
Aug1-06, 12:43 PM
Rach3's Avatar
P: 318
Quote Quote by siddharth
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
Short cut.
t!m
#172
Aug1-06, 01:44 PM
P: 142
Quote Quote by jimmy p
That reminds me of a combined joke....

1.)Why did the elephant paint its testicles red?

To hide in the cherry tree

2.)What is the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries.
Which reminds me of ...

1) How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open the door, put him in, close the door.

2) How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, close the door.

3) The jungle has a meeting, who doesn't attend?
The giraffe, he's still in the refrigerator.

4) How do you cross a river inhabited by snakes?
Walk (or swim) right through it; all the snakes are at the meeting.

In retrospect ... I'm not even sure that was a joke.
Mattara
#173
Aug1-06, 02:56 PM
P: 398
2) How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, close the door.

You chop of its head
Schrodinger's Dog
#174
Aug1-06, 05:49 PM
Schrodinger's Dog's Avatar
P: 1,136
Favourite bad jokes of all time:-

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in their tanks?

Men get in your tanks.

-----

How do you make gold soup?

add 24 carrots/carats.

-----

Why are their no asparin in the jungle?

Because the parots eat 'em all (paracetemol)

-----

Can't get enough of Christmas cracker classics.
JamesU
#175
Aug1-06, 07:03 PM
PF Gold
JamesU's Avatar
P: 745
^^Those are terrible
star.torturer
#176
Aug2-06, 03:13 AM
P: 69
FOR THE ENGLISH!!!
what is brown, and comes out of cows bacwards?

the southampto ferry

(cows to Cowes)


there are 2 fish in a tank,
1 says to the other-

how do you drive this thing
Mattara
#177
Aug2-06, 02:21 PM
P: 398
What is the difference between a cow and a potatoe? None.
Ivan Seeking
#178
Aug12-06, 09:07 PM
Emeritus
Sci Advisor
PF Gold
Ivan Seeking's Avatar
P: 12,500
The latest study of the new "Viagra for women" indicates that indeed, four out of five woman taking the drug can fake it more effectively.
NoTime
#179
Aug13-06, 02:20 PM
Sci Advisor
HW Helper
P: 1,571
... A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang.
When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there.
The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scampered off.
The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again.
When he answered the door, the cockroach was there again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped him before running away.
The third evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again.
It leapt at him and stabbed him several times before running off. The gravely injured man managed to crawl to the telephone and summoned an ambulance.
He was rushed to intensive care, where they saved his life. The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds.
He asked the man what happened, so the man explained about the 6 foot cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near fatal stabbing.
The doctor thought for a moment and said,
"Yes, there's a nasty bug going around."
jcsd
#180
Aug13-06, 02:32 PM
Sci Advisor
PF Gold
P: 2,226
One of my all time favs

Two Romans standing in Alps circa 218 BC

1st Roman: "look a flock of elephants!"

2nd Roman: "Herd"

1st Roman: "Herd of what?"

2nd Roman: "Herd of elephants"

1st Roman: "Yes of course, there's a flock of them over there!"


Register to reply

Related Discussions
High school research: am I lame? Academic Guidance 5
Here are a few jokes General Discussion 12
Silly slogans and other lame ideas General Discussion 14
Bush: A lame duck? Current Events 11
Practical Jokes General Discussion 28