personal conflict over whether or not to start hormones

G037H3

I'm trans, and am in a personal conflict over whether or not to start hormones. I know that counseling is required first, but it is such a major decision that I feel that I should have more of a settled direction or plan than I currently do. I'm wondering if anyone here knows anything about the topic that I do not, etc.

lisab

A good friend of mine went female-to-male. He always thought that when he went through the change, he'd move to a new place, get a new job, start a new life. But based on advice he got from his counselors, he stayed in the same job, same everything.

Turned out to be great advice. He changed, we all adjusted and gave him support and friendship. He became a very happy guy - settled down, married, became a family man.

Had he not taken the advice of the counselor, he would have gone through it totally alone. I suppose he could have done it that way but I think it's better that he didn't.

My point is, you don't have to head into counseling with all the loose ends tied down. Hopefully your counselors will be experienced enough and will give you guidance. They know the pitfalls and can give points on how to avoid them.

Best of luck to you!

G037H3

Thanks.

turbo

Like lisab, I know someone who stayed put. He married my aunt after her divorce, and after she died, he went male-to-female. They had a couple of children together and both of them gave him emotional support as he went through the transition. I hadn't been particularly close to him, and it was a surprise to see him out as a woman mid-transition. I knew she looked vaguely familiar but still she had to reintroduce herself. I attended a funeral with the daughter not long after (pretty little thing) and she said "Whatever makes Dad happy, I'm all for it." If you have family and/or friends or co-workers that will give you that kind of support, stay where you are and accept their support. Good luck and happiness.

G037H3

Eh, I'm 19...no real family or friends.

turbo

Sorry to hear that. It's tough for anyone to feel that isolated. Good luck, whatever you decide.

kgbgru

I don't know much about your situation however I spent enough time as a nurse (I am still licensed) to know that hormone therapy has many risks. Please listen and do exactly what your doctors say to do. They can manage the risks and make hormone therapy sucessful for you. Our hormones are like the control switches for our body and much caution should be used for manipulating them, however this is just the thing a 21st century doctor is trained for. Last of all no one can deny the benifits of starting hormone therapy. Regardless of what churches say it is an effective way to change. We have learned so much about our bodies over the past and in this century and, if one is in the wrong body, we have the medical professionals to help change that. There is almost nothing in medical science with out consequences, even your anitbotics, but that is the nature of life. My best advice is to listen to the councelors and doctors. They know far more about this than we do. I hope you find what you want. This is a most difficult choice for you and I wish you the best in your journey.

G037H3

err, kgbgru...look up John Money

i know more about HRT and transgenderism than most doctors...it isn't a mainstream medical subject

Greg Bernhardt

I don't know anything about the procedure, but I do know major decisions such as these should not be rushed. I can imagine you have a soup of feelings swirling about in your head. The best thing you can do is gather as much information as you can (as you are doing) and receive as much advice as you are able (as you are doing).

Life has no one path to success and happiness. You should understand you can excel at life whether you do or don't follow with the procedure. It's a win-win and much can be gained from either decision. It's all about perspective.

I realize this could be a difficult time for you, but PF is here for you! Keep us updated!

mugaliens

Actually, these days, it is. You simply need to know who to look up.

- mugs

turbo

Yes. A former client of mine was a Viet-Nam era war hero (Silver Star, though he deserved the MOH, IMO), and he performs gender-reassignment surgeries as part of his practice.

G037H3

Well, it probably helps that I'm near Seattle. I know quite a bit about gender and sex from the research papers that I've read, though my knowledge is by no means perfect. Counseling first, etc. =/

Thanks. "Soup of feelings" is an understatement, to say the least.

anotherone314

Check out

susans.org
tgboards.com
beginninglifeforums.com