Flex is fuming!

Evo

Good idea. Trust me, seeming needy will put you firmly in the loser category. Get on that site and start looking around, she might get jealous and contact you. I know when I brushed a guy off and he immediately moved along, it made me think that maybe I was too hasty and I should take another test drive.

FlexGunship

I actually do pretty well at "picking up chicks." If guys on this site haven't read The Game and The Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss (?), then I'd recommend it. I'm not implying you're a "chick", Evo! Judging by the manner in which you present yourself, you're a downright lady!

But, yeah, the idea of treating "bad behavior" (i.e. breaking up, getting mad, etc.) with disinterest is well understood. Women like to think they devastate us men. Even if they don't like the guy, they hate the idea that we wouldn't be destroyed by them leaving.

That said, I'm not into games with girls I really like. However, I will certainly wait a bit. A week or two, anyway.

cronxeh

I'm willing to be the Tank Turner from My Best Friend's Girl played by Dane Cook. I'll go out with her and she'll come running to you

FlexGunship

Hah! Gesture appreciated but not necessary.

As it turns out, I can get in touch with Harriet. It'll be one-way since its on the same dating website. I was thinking of letting her win. It's a totally asymetric power relationship, and I need to get on her good side just to get a shot at Melissa.

Like someone said before... nothing to lose. I was thinking of just apologizing. I know its not attractive. I know it shows weakness. I know it could backfire. But... this is the first girl in a long time that I feel is worth it.

I was thinking of this:

"Harriet, Melissa tells me that I upset you during our date. I'm really sorry about that. I was nervous with the two of you there and trying really hard to make a good first impression on you both. Somewhere along the way my nerves got the better of me and I behaved in a manner unbefitting a guy dating you best friend.

I know how valuable your opinion is to her, and I was hoping that if I extended this apology you might encourage her to give me a chance at another date. Furthermore, I want you to know that I see how close you two are and I would respect your friendship.

Sincerely,
Flex"

cronxeh

DUDE

DO NOT APOLOGIZE

Jebus crap are you kidding me?! You need to put her back in her place or she will do this to someone again. Man I wish I was in your place when this went down.. !! *blood temperature rising*

If you send that to her, you will lose any respect she may or most likely did not have for you

FlexGunship

Its not that simple! I've dated plenty of girls that I didn't give a **** about. Well, here's a counter-example. Its like flying the shuttle into space on a tether pulled by a grumpy old man. I'm going to have to listen to stories about penny-candy to get into orbit whether I like it or not. Is it optimal? Of course not!

I just have to get my foot in the door. I'm a door-to-door vacuum salseman. The important part isn't the greeting, its the sales pitch that comes next. Once I'm in the door, I can be Flex again. But if I don't play the game right, I'll never get inside.

DaveC426913

And again. This is the way to lead a well-adjusted life...



If I wrote this in a story, they'd accuse me of filling it with character cliches.

FlexGunship

Not to hijack the thread... but any thoughts on the note? I don't mind help. I'm putting the question out there because I respect the community.

lisab

If you do decide to send the apology, just know it's a Hail Mary pass (lol, no pun intended). I'd give it about a 10% chance of working.

But it seems the path you're on now is close to a 0% chance of working, so what do you have to lose?

FlexGunship

Lisa, that is EXACTLY how I feel. And, if it doesn't work, I'll probably kick myself afterwards for trading my self-respect for a 10% chance at a girl I only think I know.

Still... it seems worth it.

FlexGunship

Besides... Ivan will have plenty of ammo next time we butt heads. <looks into the aether> I know you're watching, Ivan.

(When Ivan reads your posts it feels like a sneeze that you can't quite get out.)

EDIT: I hope its clear that I meant that in good fun.

FlexGunship

Well, I tried the "Hair Mary" play. I got a response, but nothing good. I wish she could've at least been mean to me or something. You know? Oh well.

JaredJames

Was it all Harriets fault? Or was there some other reason?

FlexGunship

She said: "Thanks for the note. I don't think we can see each other again."

So, I don't know.

Dembadon

Flex, I'd be open to the possibility that Mary has already decided that she isn't interested in a relationship with you right now and doesn't know how to tell you.

[Overly-speculative opinion]

This whole situation is beginning to reek of high school, passive-aggressive games. I think Mary lied to you about it being Harriet's fault that you two can't date each other, and I think Harriet is avoiding you because she's afraid of an interrogation that would expose their game. It's easier for Mary to chuck the blame for rejecting you onto someone with whom you won't communicate, that way, she can feel guilt-free when you two text/talk/etc.

[/Overly-speculative opinion]

FlexGunship

Yeah. I guess it could be. It just can't figure out why the act needed to be carried so far? Why bother tell me I'm a good kisser the night of our date? Why plan more dates? Why ask for another picture two days later?

Frankly, it's ****ed. I don't know what else to say. I just hate the whole idea that I can meet someone, share such a crazy connection, have such a good time... and just have it be a trick or a game.

Dembadon

Please, don't take my observations/opinions as facts in this specific situation, but keep them in mind while this thing plays out. I mentioned the possibility of game-playing in this situation because it's strikingly similar to what I've seen in the past. I see patterns, not verifiable evidence.

Hopefully I'm wrong and things will work out someday.