The targeted brush-off

Math Is Hard

Sometimes there's a person that just gives you a certain uneasiness that makes you not want to encourage a friendship.

There's a guy like that at my health club. He's always hanging around (not even working out, just chit chatting at the front desk) and I catch him staring at me (my guess is that any new female attracts his attention). He positions himself in my path to start up conversations. I am not rude, but keep conversations short.

The thing is, I'm new at this place, and I want to make friends with other (non-creepy) members. I don't want other people to see me giving him the cold shoulder and think I am unfriendly.

My friend says to just suck it up and be friendly to him, but ugh, he gives me a weird vibe.

lisab

Maybe ask other women there, like in the privacy of the locker room, if he bothers them too. It could be well-known that he's a creep. Then you could brush him off without worry.

Or wear ear buds?

I'm certain your instincts are good! I never ignore that 'creepy vibe' feeling.

turbo

MIH, if you have that Kardashian thing going, you're going to get hit on - by creeps as well as nice guys.

Ear-buds are a good suggestion - you can politely ignore him while smiling and cruising by.

Math Is Hard

Thanks, guys. Note to self: keep earbuds in at all times, and remove bootie-pops from workout outfits. :)
The only bad thing about staying earbudded is that it keeps me from meeting other folks. I am still trying to find a racquetball partner. But maybe I can post something about that on the locker room bulletin board.

rootX

You can just try being bit cold and uninterested in what he has to say or walk in group of friends

turbo

Bootie-pops and push-ups are definitely not necessary.

Math Is Hard

I don't really know any of the women there unfortunately, but I bet some would not have good things to say about him. When I was at the pool there this summer he was always strolling around trying to invite himself into a group of young ladies. Luckily, there is another pool further away on the grounds that I can go to.

turbo

BTW, ear-buds that are loud enough to hear by a bystander are a good sign that you might not be able to converse. When you get to sessions in aerobics, spinning, etc, it is probably expected that you'll turn down the iPod... Unless you get stalked by the creepy guy, you should be OK.

Math Is Hard

You might want to re-read my post. You seem to have missed the part where being cold could be a problem (the main point), and also that I am new and don't have a group of friends there.

rootX

Yes, I certainly missed that part. Hopefully, you find friends soon and you wouldn't have to deal with him alone.

Pyrrhus

Hey MIH, do you need a workout partner??

wasteofo2

Simply strike up conversations with other people so you're not so isolated there. Talking about raquetball is an obvious first step. Closing yourself off with earbuds is a good way to stay isolated.

Astronuc

You need an imaginary BF - from SD perhaps.


I see an opportunity for a new market - Rent-A-Guy or Rent-A-Beau.

lisab

Maybe you could ask him to play raquetball, and then kick his @ss. Mix in some obnoxious, belittling, demoralizing trash talk...he'll run when he sees you next time .

DanP

Try a chess game ?

turbo

Let's explore freedom through technology once more. No ear-bud, this time, but a blue-tooth ear-piece. You can be "talking" on your cell at convenient times without looking like an iPod addict. Just chatter on about stuff related to your work, and hope that your admirer doesn't share your interests.

HeLiXe

Hi Math is Hard,
I think if your guess is correct, he has tried this with many other female members and they have probably given him the cold shoulder...esp. if he is always just talking to the person at the front desk and not other members. I think if you are friendly with other members they won't think you're unfriendly if you give him the cold shoulder. On the other hand you could continue to talk to him about things like why he is always talking to the ppl at the front desk and not working out