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FlexGunship

I have a story about something I did for one of my ex-girlfriends. She was raised without getting any real material possessions (for lots of reasons). But she loved to fantasize about getting nice things; she would try on shoes she couldn't afford, look at coats she would never own, pick out houses, cars, and boats...

So, I took her to the mall (she liked to look at the puppies at the pet store... well, we both did, but I pretended I didn't). She used to hold onto my arm as we walked. Well, this one time she started tugging on it... just enough to change my direction. I looked down at her and she said: "we should go over here." She led me into Journey's... some shoe store or something.

She was shopping around, and pointed out a pair of sunglasses, saying: "I used to have a pair just like those, but my last boyfriend thought they were stupid and wouldn't let me wear them when I was with him."

Taking my OBVIOUS cue, I told the girl that worked there to take them out so she could try them on. They were $12. She struck some poses and asked me what I thought. They were really cute on her and I told her so. Then she said, "well, I can't afford $12 for a pair of sunglasses, but thanks for letting me try them on." She put them down and found a pair of boots she liked.

"Aren't these wicked cute?" she asked. Frankly, I thought they were super ugly. They were knitted boots with "sherpa" patterns on them and they buttoned up on the side. But I told her to try them on... there's no point in falling in love with boots if they don't even feel good. She tried them on, and I told her to leave room for her comfy socks (I bought her some fuzzy socks because her feet get cold and she loved those socks). She picked out a size, and they fit well. I smiled at her as she wore them. She knew that I would sometimes spoil her, and she was unemployed and had not money. I would spoil her a little because it made ME feel good to see her so excited. And she said: "Please don't buy these for me."

I turned to the girl at the register and said: "Crazy girl thinks I'll just buy her whatever she wants!" I asked how much the boots were and said: "What?! For boots? That's ridiculous. Forget it. We'll take the sunglasses though."

She tried to stop me, but she was also super excited and actually wore them through the mall for a while. It was adorable to see how excited she was. We left the store, and decided to go to the pet store. She picks out the cutest puppy and I try to guess which one it is. So, I told her to go get a head start and that I was going to run to the bathroom really quickly. She said okay, and was on her way.

I ran back to Journey's, bought the boots and paid for them. As the transaction was going through I ran to Abercrombie (yuck) to see if they would give me a bag (to fake her out). But they wouldn't. Then the "Alpaca boot store" didn't have anything big enough. Finally, I took the boots and started walking towards the pet store with an obvious bag. I went into store after store saying: "Look, I know this is weird, but I just bought my girlfriend a gift and she's here at the mall with me. I need a bag to put it in to fake her out."

Finally, a girl at "The Limited" said she could help me. Gave me a nice bag, and covered it with tissue paper. I sprinted to the pet store, bag in hand, and met my girl. She asked, but I just ignored the whole thing and we played "guess the puppy." After I got it wrong three times in a row we played with the boxer for a while.

As we were leaving and getting into the car, I confessed... I said: "Baby, I'm so sorry, I know you think there's something for you in that bag. I feel awful. It's just a couple of shirts I saw on sale in the window. I bought them without even thinking. I hope you're not disappointed."

She said: "That was the secret? You thought I'd be disappointed? Even after you bought me these sunglasses? You're crazy! You worry about the dumbest things, sometimes. I know you can't afford to just buy me stuff all the time, and I don't expect it! Can I at least seem them now?" And I said: "Sure."

I'll never forget the look on her face when you pulled off the tissue paper and realized what was in there.


(Punchline? "The Limited" is a women's-only store. Didn't know that. Apparently, she didn't either, so it worked out.)

Evo

Okay the short version.

Met millionaire.

Started dating millionaire,

Millionaire has restraining order against his ex girlfriend from a month before he met me. I know of her, she's a world famous golddigger. All Americans know her ex husband, he's a household word.

Millionaire stages his own disappearance. I don't bite. He's confused, he thought I'd go crazy.

I dump whacko millionaire.

His ex girlfriend marries a rich guy, bashes his head in with a 2 x 4 and is now in prison for murder.

Millionaire keeps calling me to talk about dating another gorgeous psycho flake that urinates when she has an orgasm.

I stop answering his calls.

rootX

There was a girl that I never found.

Another valentine is coming and I am still single.

BobG

Met a girl and asked her for a date. When I picked her up, I even remembered to open the car door for her. Unfortunately it fell off. But she still went on the date with me.

But, then..... came the killer question, "Why does your car get shorter when you put on the brakes and longer when you step on the gas?" There's no way I could keep on dating someone with so little understanding of basic phsyics.

So I dumped her by calling her only when she was unable to answer the phone, even allowing for the 10 ring rule. After doing this for two weeks straight, I figured she got the message and I stopped calling her.

Borek

This is my cute² story:

Evo

Awww, adorable, you're a lucky man borek.

rootX

I believe that's your mom not your wife? Then your mom is as good looking as your wife

Borek

My Mom was a cute story of my Dad. This is Marzena, most likely in July of 1985.

EnumaElish

Photo of: one cuddly panda "teddy" bear wearing a sheepskin winter hat, holding three wooden red roses individually wrapped in cellophane, while sitting beside a medium-sized cup of coffee from a 7-11 store that says "cup with a cause" on it.

Evo

Aww, that sounds cute!

Astronuc

Seems more like a nightmare!

Borek

Cute story earlier version. No doubt these are sixties.

Black thing behind my Mom's right hand is a suitcase gramophone.

DanP

Adorable. You know interesting people. Do you also know Mel and Oksana ?

dkotschessaa

Met a nerdy little girl on the bus when I was in 6th grade. Big glasses, braces, pony tail. She asked me my phone number.

I said "1-900-909-DAVE" which I thought was funny. I was afraid to give her my number. We did promise that if we weren't married by the time we were in our 30s (to somebody else) we'd marry each other. Mostly I ignore her though. She's a grade ahead of me so I don't see her my last year of middle school.

A year later I run into the same girl in high school, who looks different, really different. Hot different. I don't recognize her as the girl from the bus. She promptly ignores me for about a year. Fair enough.

We become friends again and hang out for a few years. We are like Kevin and Winnie Cooper from the wonder years.

We lose touch for 15 years.

She looks me up, finds me online. We remember our promise.

We got married in August of last year.

-Dave KA

lisab

Oh, what a sweet story!

rootX

It's the best story I have ever heard in this world

dkotschessaa

Thanks. We love telling it. We have slightly different versions. :)