The only women ever interested in me were in relationships.

Newai

Anyone here ever have anything like that? I'm not the best looking man in the world, but what is this about? I've never been involved with a woman who was already involved. But married women often, I do mean often, cozy right up to me real fast. I'm getting the impression that the guys in my area have little skill in keeping their women happy. I guess.

This actually makes me like the single crowd much more because it's extra effort in the game I have to commit. I love the challenge.

Drakkith

What do you mean by "Cozy up" with you?

Newai

Not a good choice of words. I mean they get friendly in a more than casual friendly way.

Drakkith

Honestly, I feel the same way sometimes. My ex girlfriend was actually married when we dated. She said she was getting divorced, but ended up going back to her husband.

Do you meet alot of single women, or just mostly married women? That could have a big effect. Also, I would expect a married women to NOT be looking for the same things that she would be if she were single, which may mean that she actually gets to know the real you.

TheStatutoryApe

I've noticed many women in long term relationships that seem to flirt around with other men a lot. One big reason may be simply that they want to feel as though they can still be attractive to other men, they don't really have any intention of following through. If you know them and/or their partners then they may just feel more comfortable being open and affectionate seeing that they are in a relationship and shouldn't have to worry about you getting the wrong idea. Many of my friend's wives and girlfriends have been rather more affectionate towards me than I would have expected.

Femme_physics

Couldn't have said it better....

Newai

I think you hit the nail on the head. Big thank you for helping me understand one of the biggest mysteries in my social experiences.

lisab

Here's another perspective: a woman being nice (or simply being themselves*) can easily be interpreted as flirting by some males. Women know this, and a single woman has to keep that behavior in check when she's around men, knowing how it will be interpreted. Once she's no longer available, she can more freely be herself, confident that her "attached" status protects her from unwanted advances.

This interpretation feels much closer to truth to me, than thinking women who are in relationships "want to feel as though they can still be attractive to other men."

* This behavior can include making jokes, holding eye contact, touching (like on the arm), etc.

rootX

I am always really impressed by single moms (but not get interested - age gap) with young children. They handle so many things by themselves, and being practical, l I find that amazing!!

Newai

Well now that's just down right insulting.

TheStatutoryApe

This is what I meant by the second portion of my post though I specifically mentioned someone who is a friend or SO of a friend since that seems like a more likely scenario than with a stranger.

DanP

Correct interpretation IMO in most cases, but well, those who do-it, do-it on their own expense. You touch me, I feel free to touch you, and you shouldn't be (or act ) surprised. It's not like most men will care about the fact that you have another man "attached". So if you don't wanna play, don't touch.

lisab

Excellent point - I agree.

Femme_physics

*shrugs* I just do what comes naturally. I didn't realize my touching initiates some auto-reciprocation pact...that seems kinda silly.
I mean, sure, touch back, but if it's awkward/forced, you're gonna feel it, not me. Everything is a matter of tact, not of unwritten agreements.

DanP

It's not a pact, nor an unwritten agreement. You do what it comes naturally. Sure. Exactly that's what I do when you touch me. Naturally I touch you, if you appeal to me. If not, yeah, ill just be careful next time not to sit near you. You didn't asked for my permission to touch me, I wont ask for touching you.

You shouldn't expect a men who you touch not to touch you back if he so pleases. You initiated physical contact, live with the consequences. Else, keep your hands at home and use them on your "attached" man.


Yeah, Im gonna feel it, so what ? That's life. The same may be the case for you if you touch me. What do you think, that men like to be touched by any woman whatsoever ? No, we don't, so if Im not gonna like it, you're gonna feel it.

Smiles302

Well.. It depends on what you mean by touching. If I grabbed a man's *** I would expect him to feel free to grab mine. But if I touch your arm, this isn't an invitation to grab my breasts haha.

I have a crazy habit of grabbing a hold of people's elbows when I am drunk, to drunkenly make sure they are listening to me. No one has yet to take this as an invitation to do more than take me by the shoulders and stir me away from groups of strangers. I would be so very confused if someone took that as a invite to anything at all really.

Edit: *** = bum, crazy swear filter.

DanP

Touching is touching. Where ... is anybody's guess and depends of situation. Ppl usually return those touches in appropriate ways. But the bottom line is, if you don't want to be touched, don't touch.