- #1
causalset
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Whenever I have a girlfriend I always feel ashamed to tell about her to my parents. I am also afraid of marriage. It seems like if it gets to this point the life will be over. I could never properly explain to any of my girls why is it I am afraid of these things.
Just recently I was in a banquet in strings conference and they told a joke about a guy and a girl breaking up because one was in string theory and the other was in loop quantum gravity. And the first thing I thought was "man, arent they lucky". In my case none of the girls I dated were physicists. The closest I got was a biochemist and even then she is not a theorist; she is very industry oriented as evidenced by the fact that eventually she chose to leave grad school (with a master) in favor of industry.
Now that this got my attention, I asked myself: what if I were to date a theoretical physicist with a ph.d., working on my level; would I have any of these fears? My honest answer is that I don't know; I have to see. But the fact that it is "conceivable" that I will NOT have these fears is pretty amaising, given that I could never imagine myself without these fears for the past few years, no matter how hard the girls pushed me to change. The reason why I would feel a lot more at ease dating a physicist is that I won't have to "step out of my life" the way I do now, will I? Even MARRYING a physicist won't be such a big of a leap.
Could it be that THIS is why none of the girls understand my fears? THEY would not date someone "far off on the left field" to begin with. I am the only one being desperate and going for girls I am not compatible with, simply because the girls I WANT to date (such as a math graduate student I ran onto few years ago) don't want to date me. So this explains why none of the girls I do date understand any of my fears. Perhaps they feel about me the same way as I would feel about theoretical physicist (they won't have been dating me if they didnt). And if I were to date a theoretical physicist, I would be A LOT more comfortable and marriage or anything of this kind would pretty much be non-event.
This brings me to asking you guys: would YOU personally ever date a non-physicist, or non-scientist? If most people in science community would NOT date the kind of girls I am dating, then I do in fact have a very good reason to worry!
Just recently I was in a banquet in strings conference and they told a joke about a guy and a girl breaking up because one was in string theory and the other was in loop quantum gravity. And the first thing I thought was "man, arent they lucky". In my case none of the girls I dated were physicists. The closest I got was a biochemist and even then she is not a theorist; she is very industry oriented as evidenced by the fact that eventually she chose to leave grad school (with a master) in favor of industry.
Now that this got my attention, I asked myself: what if I were to date a theoretical physicist with a ph.d., working on my level; would I have any of these fears? My honest answer is that I don't know; I have to see. But the fact that it is "conceivable" that I will NOT have these fears is pretty amaising, given that I could never imagine myself without these fears for the past few years, no matter how hard the girls pushed me to change. The reason why I would feel a lot more at ease dating a physicist is that I won't have to "step out of my life" the way I do now, will I? Even MARRYING a physicist won't be such a big of a leap.
Could it be that THIS is why none of the girls understand my fears? THEY would not date someone "far off on the left field" to begin with. I am the only one being desperate and going for girls I am not compatible with, simply because the girls I WANT to date (such as a math graduate student I ran onto few years ago) don't want to date me. So this explains why none of the girls I do date understand any of my fears. Perhaps they feel about me the same way as I would feel about theoretical physicist (they won't have been dating me if they didnt). And if I were to date a theoretical physicist, I would be A LOT more comfortable and marriage or anything of this kind would pretty much be non-event.
This brings me to asking you guys: would YOU personally ever date a non-physicist, or non-scientist? If most people in science community would NOT date the kind of girls I am dating, then I do in fact have a very good reason to worry!
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