I'm 18 and haven't had a GF yet

shelovesmath

I met my hubby when he was 19 and I was 21, and he was not a lady's man by any means. What drew me to him was his kindness and intelligence. Try online dating if you're shy.

DaveC426913

subtle. Right-handed are ya?

Ivan92

Now now, just because we are scientists doesn't mean we don't know nothing about relationships. I am sure people have something to say to the OP (and some people have already given their advice). I don't see anything bad asking for relationship advice here.

Edin_Dzeko

I'll try to keep religious beliefs out of this as best as I can.
Reading your posts, it's really sad what our culture has become and the kind of things it teaches these days. Since when did innocence, purity become something to feel bad about? You don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore. That's all I will say.
Don't feel bad but rather be glad. If you keep this up you'll make some really nice girl very happy some day

nucleargirl

dude, dont worry about it! you are wayyy too young to be worrying about not having had a serious relationship! enjoy your freedom!!! and like you say, love will hapen when it is the right time with the right person. you cant force something like that. and if you did force a relationship, it would always feel wrong and you'd look back at it with bad memories. When the right girl comes along, then go for it! personally I think relationships are quite stressful, especially when its your first one and you are young (like yourself). so its only worth it for someone you really like.
loads of girls like guys who dont sleep around so save yourself for the right person.
you know whats right, dont be swayed by trash culture you see on TV.

wisvuze

if you think you're in trouble.. I'm 20, turning 21 and I have yet to be un-single!

Char. Limit

I'm not sure when it started, but I can tell you for certain that it was around in high schools and colleges since at least the 80's.

jannkahon

There is a right time for it. Just wait.

daveyrocket

Who cares if a relationship at that age lasts? How do you expect people to have an idea of what relationships are meant to be if they don't have experience with them? IMO in order to have a successful relationship, one needs to have experience, and that means having relationships that end, for whatever reason. Any relationship that ends isn't a failed experience, or a waste of time. (Also, NEVER is an inappropriate qualifier for that sort of statement. I can think of at least one counter-example in my friends.)

To the OP: don't follow the advice "DO NOT FLIRT". Instead, learn how to flirt. Here's a tip: less is more. Be subtle.
The advice "IGNORE ALL DATING ADVICE!" is dating advice, so the only way to follow it is to ignore it. You should be skeptical about most dating advice however, since there really is a lot of bad advice out there.

The best advice I see in this thread is "Look to make female friends." If your intuition tells you that it's hard to go from the friend zone to a relationship, you're right. Don't waste your time trying to do that. But if you have friends who are girls that gives you a lot of opportunity to meet other girls. And if you're introduced by a mutual friend, then girls will begin with the assumption that you're not creepy.

Do you want to date or have a girlfriend? Or are you just concerned about "social pressures" or "what people would think" if you don't? Bottom line, if you don't want to do it, don't waste your time worrying about what will happen if you don't. But if you do want to do it, you're going to have to do some work to make it happen. You should try joining some social group doing something that you like to do, or find a new hobby that you enjoy and gets you out of the house (yes, that means stop playing WoW 18 hours a day).

Edin_Dzeko

[1] I disagree with ya, chief. Pengwuino is right. Many of these teenage relationships are filled with nothing but childish games, immature little boys, and girls whose minds are dominated mostly by their hormones and filth that's been pushed into their heads by media and culture. Right now relationships are in-deed a waste of time with a few minor exceptions. They are a waste of time because, teens today fight over foolish things like who calls who and who doesn't. Think of all the hours they spend on the phone at night, texting back-and-forth which could be put into doing something more positively productive? When all ends, someone gets hurt. Look at how many girls are sexually "used" by their boyfriends? Look at how boys fight one another over a girl? Not to mention things like pregnancy among teens. It surely all begins with these childish boyfriend/girlfriend games. How are people going to know how relationsips if are supposed to be if they don't have experience with them? Have you ever heard of talking to children about dating? About how to be a man/woman of good character? And what to look for in a good spouse? Your son don't have to go to jail to know that jail is not a place where he should go. Same thing applies to dating. Your daughter doesn't have to get used, treated like a sex object, and shown little respect by guys before she learns that as a woman, a boy should treat her with the utmost respect. By seeing the way her father treats her mother, that should be enough, shouldn't it? One things about these relationships is that they carry over to the marriage years. The idea that if I get tired, bored with my boyfriend / girlfriend I will just break up with him/her carries over when the person is married. When the marriage gets boring, problems come up rather than dealing with it the person just seeks a divorce and quits. Btw, a lot of teens say things like "I hate him/her!" when they are talking about their ex's. And they throw out pictures, and other things that remind them of the person.

The few exceptions are that, there are some really nice few well home trained boys and girls out there. Who don't date just to date and move on to the next one but they date with the intention of the possibility of marriage in mind. Their dating has purpose and meaning. There are some nice young men out there who don't take girls for sex objects and some young ladies out there who still have some sense of self respect. But they are few, rare, and hard to find. My advice to the OP, if you're feeling bad because you've never had a girlfriend before, you're probably not ready yet (self esteem wise). Becareful you don't get taken advantage of.

If you can find a grown responsible man in your life (meaning off the computer, and PF) then please by all means go and speak to this man. Preferably your father but if you're asking a forum this question, it's making me wonder the kind of open relationship you have with your dad. But all the same I really don't know. Just find a grown responsible man who is married or something of that nature who can talk to you about dating, preparing for dating, etc. You don't have to feel bad about your purity and innocence and you don't have to do what your culture tells you to do. There's nothing wrong with dating one person, having sex with one person your whole life. Look at Mr. Obama and his wife

daveyrocket

Right, of course, I forgot that none of that stuff can happen once you're past your teen years. Oh, except that it does all the time. You're saying all teenage relationships should be avoided because some of them are bad, and that's nonsense. Bad things can happen in relationships, just like in any other walk of life. Pain is unavoidable. It's part of human experience. Man up and face it with courage and you will be better off for it.

Skipping over the weird "personal-baggage" sounding stuff in your post, I just want to say two things:

Duh, you don't have to go to jail to know it's a bad place to go. But the jail analogy is a failure because there's no such thing as a good jail. Your son doesn't have to learn to tell the difference between a good jail and a bad jail. He does have to learn to tell the difference between good and bad relationships.

Yeah, and guess what? Talking about it isn't a substitute for experience. Guess what else? What works for a good spouse for you might not be what works for me or anyone else. I have a pretty good idea to know what I want in a woman, and it doesn't match any piece of advice anyone's ever given me. In fact, it doesn't even come close matching what I thought I wanted in a girl when I started dating. And you want to know how I figured it out? I dated different girls.

You don't learn to drive by reading the manual 10,000 times and listening to everyone's advice then when you first get into the car you attempt to drive from Los Angeles to New York. You don't learn to ski by listening to a bunch of people telling you how to do it and then jump onto a black diamond course. Some advice will help, after all, you wouldn't want to try driving without knowing which pedal is the gas pedal. But advice is most useful when taken in tandem with experience. Most of the time you're going to have to make some mistakes to recognize them. It doesn't matter how much advice you listen to, experience can't be taught.

Go with your feelings. If you want to date, do it. Just don't catch any diseases or get anyone pregnant. If you only think you should be dating because you're comparing yourself to other people or you are afraid of them passing judgement, then stop worrying about what other people are doing and focus on yourself more.

DaveC426913

Yes. Welcome to growing up.

davey_rocket is correct on all points.

How do you think they will learn what is meaningful from what is fluff if they do not experience it? It is in the context of all this silly game-playing that they build their character - who they are - and who they are not. If they never experience it, they will never recognize it later in life.

Do you also think kittens playing at stalk-and-pounce with a bug are wasting their time, learning nothing?

Edin_Dzeko

Hey fine, go right ahead. Whatever floats your boat, mate

Edin_Dzeko

You don't understand where I'm coming from so let's just drop this.

k19r14s15

hay my friend i know how you feel iam 42 years and i don't have a. gf ether it's hard when good looking ladys. look at you strange i have been trying to talk to women. for a long time maybe it's me or what ever it is they just don't get but keep trying something will happen soon

blade123

Subtle? My god that's the worst thing you can do. People are stupid. It's much more effective to tell someone straight up "I like you, maybe we should hang out". Subtle? No one picks up on subtlety. Be open and honest. Expecting someone to pick up your intentions without actually telling them your intentions is asinine.

And I was trying to be ironic. I meant ignore all "dress this way" "act this way" "say this". Yes I am giving advice, but it was more a joke. I guess I'm not funny.

Just be yourself, and be honest. If you like a girl, tell her. If she says she's interested, you just cut out a lot of games and got right to the point. If she says she's not interested, you just saved a ton of time and heartache.

My god, subtlety? I have never once seen subtlety work, ever. I've seen being open and honest work many many many times.

Cuauhtemoc

I don't think just waiting for it to happen is the best approach, you got try.
You need to surpass your shyness and ask some girls out.
That's the only way of truly knowing people, first sight love is for movies.
With most of them it will not work out, but in the end you may find somebody you like and likes you back.

Flirting is part of the game, but it's not everything, you gotta be open sometimes.