Why Didn't God Qualify for University Tenure?

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Discussion Overview

The thread humorously explores the reasons why God might not qualify for university tenure, using a satirical approach to critique academic standards and practices. The discussion includes various humorous points about qualifications, publications, and teaching methods, blending elements of theology and academia.

Discussion Character

  • Humorous, Satirical, Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants humorously suggest that God's single major publication lacks academic rigor, citing its language, lack of references, and absence from a refereed journal.
  • Concerns are raised about God's limited cooperative efforts and the scientific community's inability to replicate his results.
  • Participants joke about God's unconventional teaching methods, including infrequent class attendance and reliance on his son for instruction.
  • There are humorous claims regarding God's handling of experiments and subjects, including cover-ups and deletions of non-compliant subjects.
  • Some participants express delight in the humor of the original post and share their intentions to share it with others.
  • References to God's sense of humor are made, with some participants suggesting that the state of the world reflects this humor.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally agree on the humorous nature of the discussion, but there are varying interpretations of God's character and humor, leading to light-hearted exchanges rather than a consensus.

Contextual Notes

The discussion relies on satirical interpretations of religious themes and academic standards, which may not align with all participants' beliefs or views on humor.

Who May Find This Useful

Readers interested in humor that intersects with theology and academia, as well as those who enjoy light-hearted critiques of institutional practices.

iansmith
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Some academic careers just never take off...

Why God never received tenure at any university:

1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew.

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.

6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.

13. Some say he had his son teach the class.

14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop
 
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bwah hah hah!

Delightful

I can only hope that in making a pointless response to your joke, more people will end up reading it
 
Becareful not to walk out in a lightning storm... :smile:
 
I'm going to have to hang this on my bullitin board... just to reserve my own little spot in hell :wink:
-HBar
 
CRACKED ME UP!

I'm going to show this to the pastor of my church! He's going to love it!
 
Pssst whom do you think invented humor?
(A hint, not the devil!)
 
Originally posted by HBar
I'm going to have to hang this on my bullitin board... just to reserve my own little spot in hell :wink:
-HBar
Umm..I think you're going to have to go just a little bit further than THIS to reserve your own little spot in hell. Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you! :wink:
 
"Personally, I think God has one 'hell' of a sense of humor! Just look around you!"

"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor."
depeche mode

yup.
 
"...Because Tenure is finite, and God is Infinite"
 

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