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Spanking

by decibel
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decibel
#1
Nov11-04, 04:55 PM
P: 116
is spanking is an effective way to discipline kids?

I dont think so for a of couple of reasons. One of them being that it makes children learn that violence is the solution to everything, and it causes them to have problems when theyre older in most cases

what do you guys think?
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Dooga Blackrazor
#2
Nov11-04, 05:05 PM
P: 372
It's a horrible method of discipline. My parents used to occasionally do that to me. Then I told them if they tried I'd call the police - and if that didn't work, I'd take violent action against them. Regardless of whether I would or not, spanking has never happened again. Violent behavior gives rise to violent behavior. I didn't get in trouble for my comments either, and my parents and I get along well; however, if spanking continued it certainly wouldn't be a good situation.

Even as a supporter of violent action as a last resort - it is often the first thing I think of when angered. Spanking is definately bad and can have dramatic affect on the child.


That's only one reason against spanking, there are many more.
Smurf
#3
Nov11-04, 05:56 PM
P: 2,891
A child's parents are his best teachers. Spanking a child is teaching him/her that Violence is an effective way to end conflict. I'm going to take this opportunity to say that buying stuff for kids because they throw a tantrum is teaching them that throwing a tantrum will get them things they want, same principle.

dekoi
#4
Nov11-04, 06:00 PM
P: n/a
Spanking

Couldn't one also say that if a child is not spanked, they take longer to realize the consequences of dangerous things? Unless of course, the child is not spanked as a consequence of doing some hurtful or dangerous to their health.
Smurf
#5
Nov11-04, 06:02 PM
P: 2,891
There are better ways, and a good parent will realise that positive reinforcment is just as, if not more effective as negative reinforcment.
BobG
#6
Nov11-04, 06:22 PM
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Quote Quote by Dooga Blackrazor
It's a horrible method of discipline. My parents used to occasionally do that to me. Then I told them if they tried I'd call the police - and if that didn't work, I'd take violent action against them. Regardless of whether I would or not, spanking has never happened again. Violent behavior gives rise to violent behavior. I didn't get in trouble for my comments either, and my parents and I get along well; however, if spanking continued it certainly wouldn't be a good situation.
I would say they probably used spanking way beyond its effective age range.

For toddler's still in diapers, it's probably an effective deterrent for things they'd definitely better not do (don't touch the top of the stove, don't stick things in the electical outlets, don't ride your 'big wheel' towards the basement stairs, don't hold a cat and a dust-buster at the same time).

Aside from the 'immediate danger' kind of things you want to be sure your kids avoid at almost any cost, there's usually a lot more effective punishments. And, if your child is old enough to hand you their lawyer's business card and threatens you with a class action law suit, they've probably passed the age where spanking is even an effective deterrent against the 'immediate danger' kind of things.
Zantra
#7
Nov11-04, 09:48 PM
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there are a lot effective methods than spanking...time outs can be very effective if you use them the right way. Stand them in a corner for 10 minutes and it has the same effect as spanking. I prefer teaching through understanding and association, not through fear. And that's all spanking is- they associate the spanking or "fear" with an action. If you teach them the reasons why, then they still fear the punishment, but understand the reasons of the consequences. And that is why spanking only works at a very young age.
Echo 6 Sierra
#8
Nov12-04, 07:32 AM
P: 86
I believe that it has to do with the child. I DON'T believe that the spanking should be the punishment because after a while it becomes ineffective and that could force the "adult" to increase the force of which the punishment is dealt. A quick smack (open-handed) on the rump or upper thigh can be a useful attention getter to allow you to explain the situation to the offender. NEVER on the face, NEVER, EVER! One that I find most effective is to grab the upper arm and squeeze. 99% of the time the offender will automatically look you in the face and ask "what...?". Overall, I have found that taking things away from them and having foods they don't like for meals as being the best.

Personal experience is that time-outs just allow them to rest up for the next round. Once again, it all depends on the child.
Leonidas
#9
Nov14-04, 06:21 PM
P: 20
All the children I know whose parents don't spank them turned into whiny, feminine adults (yes... even the men) ...
JasonRox
#10
Nov14-04, 06:28 PM
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Brainwash them.

That seems to be an effective method, but not practical since you are ruining your kids life.

Note: The same method got Bush re-elected, so I am more than positive that your kids will behave properly under this style of raising children.

Note: Not promoting brainwashing.

Note: Have fun with your kids.
Leonidas
#11
Nov14-04, 06:39 PM
P: 20
... brain washing did not get bush re-elected... if you wish that subject to be discussed, perhaps you should go into the politics sub-section.
Smurf
#12
Nov14-04, 06:46 PM
P: 2,891
It is being discussed in the political sub forum. And yes that is what got him elected.
Leonidas
#13
Nov14-04, 07:15 PM
P: 20
no, it isn't... then keep it there.
JasonRox
#14
Nov14-04, 10:21 PM
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Let's not get off-topic. It was just a note.

The reason why I said this is that I have met and know people who are brainwashed by their parents.
Xasuke
#15
Nov14-04, 10:58 PM
P: 13
Saying not spanking your kids will turn them into "whiny, feminine adults" is BS. Maybe I'm forced to take offence because I was never really "spanked," but seriously, even if you were joking, how stupid is that? It pisses me off to see people satisfied holding onto erroneous logic.
Smurf
#16
Nov14-04, 11:09 PM
P: 2,891
I was spanked and I still am a whiny, feminine adult.
Moonbear
#17
Nov14-04, 11:42 PM
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Spanking is something that should be reserved for very limited use in situations where the kid really needs to learn fast that a very harmful consequence will occur for something they are about to do, such as touching a hot stove or running into the middle of a busy street. Otherwise, I believe one should go to the origins of the word "discipline," which is "to teach," for guidance in parenting. Don't punish your kids for doing the wrong thing, teach them the right thing. If you spend all day yelling at your kids, "No, don't do that!" they still aren't learning what they should be doing.

Yes, it does, to some extent, depend on the kid, but the kid who is going to be defiant will do so whether you are using time-outs, verbal warnings, screaming, or spanking. I also think if you help shape the child's behavior while they are young enough, it is easier to maintain discipline when they are older.
vanesch
#18
Nov15-04, 03:00 AM
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Quote Quote by decibel
is spanking is an effective way to discipline kids?
Why have kids if you cannot spank them ??

Seriously, I only spank when my kid is violent towards me. It rarely happens, but sometimes it does. It depends on the kid ; mine can sometimes get a rage attack when I say "no" to something, and if on that occasion he tries to hit me, or kick me, I spank him or slap him. It seems to work.


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