My teacher told me

check

From my economics prof's blog:

This is for the boys: I'm hetero.
This is for the girls: If you’re flunking my class, don’t make sly little suggestions about what you might do to earn a passing grade. You’re flunking my class. Why would I think your performance would be better in any other areas? Besides, I'm too old to care.
When you ask a stupid question in class I will try not to laugh at your question. However, I do reserve the right to tell my friends later and to laugh then. Sorry, but sometimes I just have to. Your name and any identifying information will not be used.

The_Professional

Fish are caught by the mouth. People, by their word
-english prof

KingNothing

"So whenever you feel like you're something special, just remember you kids, you're just another pimple on the world's butt." -Mr. Gaworecki, the always negative history teacher.

tribdog

Didn't that exact thing happen in "Lucy and Ethel get Matriculated"
Funniest thing I ever heard my teacher say,"Waaaaa, sob, sniffle, They kidnapped my cat and kept him for a day and...sob.sniff...and when I got him back he was chromed."
I always admired the catnappers painting a cat chrome. Chrome is a funny choice. My brother was the catnapper.

Tom Mattson

This wasn't one of my teachers, but a professor at the college at which I am currently employed. There's a tenured professor in the Chemistry department who is nearing retirement (so he doesn't care what anybody says to him) who told a student that he should leave the class because he is too fat.

DeathKnight

Few days back the water heater in my house wasnt working so for two consecutive days I didnt take a bath(Man its really cold here). On the third day I was in my maths class when my teacher asked me to stand up. After I had stood up he, in front of the whole class, asked me in the most insulting way possible, "When did you last take a bath?"
To add insult to the injury the whole class immediately burst into laughters and kept asking the same question the whole day. It was soooo insulting that I cant even describe it.