"I wish I hadn't worked so hard."

BobG

Of those top 5, only two would apply to me:

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

I wouldn't express it quite that way and wouldn't say I have that much regret over failing to express negative feelings, and definitely not enough to feel bitterness and resentment, but there's a few instances I wish I would have let people know just how much they bothered me.

Mostly, I'm just very slow to express feelings in general, including positive feelings, and way too infrequently.

And there aren't very many friends I wish I'd stayed in touch, but I really wish I hadn't lost touch with the kids I worked with in the ice cream parlor when I was in high school. I think those were the closest friends I ever had. And I wish I'd stayed in touch with a few of the friends I've worked with over the years (it's kind of hard when either I or my friends have moved around so often).

ThomasT

Working so/too hard won't be one of my regrets. I think that maybe not working much is why I'm relatively happy and healthy today, at 65. I've led a pretty stress-free life.

I do regret not having kept in closer contact with certain friends.

Ivan Seeking

I've spent a lot of time in factories and have seen many jobs that would probably lead to suicide if that's what I had to do every day. But when I talk with many of these folks, they often indicate that their job is "okay" but they would hate to do what I do.

chiro

In terms of working hard, I would really add IMO that it is not about working hard, but what you are working for.

Many people work the minimum amount that they need to and they hate what they do. What they work for is not their job, but often for their own leisures, their wife/husband, and usually for many people: their kids.

Other people don't work for these things: they work for other causes and these causes are so diverse that classifying them would not serve its proper purpose.

Some people work so hard and for little remuneration just for the sake of curiosity, or getting a feeling that they otherwise would not get and for many of these people I would estimate that they would not regret spending their time in this fashion in such an asymmetric manner in comparison to other people.

So yeah, for the newspaper article, the question that should have been asked for these patients is "what specifically would you have rather focused your time and energy into if you decided not to work as much?"

ThomasT

Good points. Some of the hardest work I've ever done netted me relatively little money, but a lot in terms of personal satisfaction. I not only don't regret a minute of that time spent, but would like to recapture the passion that compelled me to pursue those goals. The thing is, I'm older now. I don't have the same energy, the same drive. I'm pretty much satisfied with winding down, enjoying nature, being a good neighbor ... that sort of thing.

BobG

My dad worked as a chemical engineer and he never really cared for his job. He didn't hate it and parts of it were interesting, but he retired as soon as he was financially able to.

After he retired, he and my mom volunteered for a prison reform group, with the two of them eventually moving up to leadership of the group for their region. He's really proud of the work they did for that group. He always likes to show off the awards they won, pictures of meeting with Senators, etc. in Washington DC. This was something very special to both of them and they really enjoyed working together.

Remembering the career advice sessions he and I had when I was in high school... "Have you thought about what you want to do for a career?" ..... "I don't think that pays very much. Have you considered doing ....?" followed by a spiel on what a person in this career does and how much a person in this career makes...

I just have a feeling my dad was one of those that chose a career for money, and only found out later in life that "a career" can bring in other rewards than money.

I was never responsible enough or diligent enough to worry about how much money I would have for a wife and kids that didn't exist yet. That's why #1 just has never been much of a problem. I'm the guy that made the honor roll in college - then dropped out the next semester to hitchhike to California. (And the guy that hitchhiked to Louisiana and got robbed at gunpoint by a couple of escaped convicts driving a stolen car, but that wasn't as bad an experience as one might think, either. I can't say getting robbed was one of my life dreams, but it was still kind of fun.)

Borg

I've been on both sides of factory life. I have friends that have spent many years working in factories. They feel the same way as the folks that you mentioned.

For me, working in a factory was the most boring, mind-numbing experience that I've ever had. I remember one day where I kept checking my watch. I finally promised myself that I wouldn't look at it again until I thought that a half hour had passed. When I did check my watch, it had been only two minutes. That was a long night.

But, working in a factory helped to give me perspective. Whenever I was struggling with my college coursework, I would tell myself that at least I wasn't working in a factory anymore.

Ivan Seeking

Of course I never told them what I was making per day. Doing roadwork for factories is incredibly lucrative but it is a miserable life. All they saw were the long hours and the walking corpse passing itself off as me. But, honestly, it is such a miserable life that for me, no amount of money was worth it. I could only take it for a few years. So I guess I have to side with the factory workers. Still, doing their job would never be an acceptable option. Truly, I would rather be dead.

jim hardy

Interesting - four of the five relate to self awareness and relationships, the only career oriented one says it was a mistake to take it so seriously.

gravenewworld

I'd GLADLY trade in a lucrative 6 figure job to make 50-70k with more vacation time. I don't need a big house, don't need a fancy car, and need expensive clothing to be happy. Give me more vacation time so I can spend my money traveling the world. There's always time for work, but not enough time for doing things while you are young.

SHISHKABOB

What is it that you do? If you don't mind me asking.

Ivan Seeking

Systems integration and engineering [while on the road]. I still do both but a lot more R&D now... and only within driving distance except in rare cases. I mostly work from home now.

turbo

Ivan's right. Life on the road sucks. You can be pulling in really great money, but if you have to live in motels in podunk towns and try to search out diners and truck-stops with food marginally better than fast-food, that gets old fast. Still, I did mill-work for 10 years as a process chemist, and as a lead papermaker. Lots of troubleshooting, so those jobs weren't brain-numbing like my college summer jobs on production lines in veneer mills.

Ivan Seeking

Turbo, I usually had the best hotels, the best food, first-class flights, classy rental cars, and white hat treatment at all plants, and it was still as close to hell as I've ever been.

It doesn't matter if your room cost $60 or $300, living on the road is a very hard and lonely life. And in the end, even $300 hotel rooms are just stinking hotel rooms!

Ivan Seeking

...although I must say, while in the end nothing else matters much, flying first class does actually help a bit. Those cramped seats in coach add to the travel fatigue.

turbo

Yep. And if the high point of your day is an evening phone call to your spouse, and you have to keep working into the night, it can be a really sad life.