Sick of being underemployed!

gravenewworld

Welcome to the world of science. You're lucky you have a full time job. Many companies in industry now only higher temp workers. That way they never have to pay for health insurance or retirement benefits, meanwhile you have to roam around like a nomad from job to job every six months to a year.

meldraft

This is pretty grim. Even now, there are a lot of opportunities for permanent employment, especially for people with a PhD (hell, you can be employed for life if you are tenured).

GCarty

It's extremely difficult to overstate how utterly hellish my mother's life is! I have an autistic sister (now 24), and my father hasn't worked for 20 years. He was reluctant to look for work initially because he felt he was needed to take my sister for hospital appointments etc, and ended up making himself unemployable!

On the one hand I feel an inordinate yearning to get my own place and escape from the madness of my home life, but on the other I feel that to do so would be in effect to knife my mother in the back. She had no part in my father's fecklessness (including that which led to his brain haemorrhage -- both she and I sensed something was wrong and were begging him to go to the doctor) and she always spends money on myself and my sister to the near-limit of her ability. She'd probably think "I've done everything I could for you, and now you want to run away when it's time to give something back in return?? How dare you!!"

If I got my own place but stayed in the North East I'd still be willing to take her for groceries, but she's started dreaming about nice houses and I know I almost certainly couldn't find a well-paid enough job locally to buy her a house and pay for (either mortgage or rent) a place of my own!
Given what houses cost down south, how could I possibly afford this? My dad's been unemployed for 20 years (see above). Anyway, I wish I could get away from my family. I looked at some houses in Peterlee (nearest town) thinking that if I could buy them a house there (within walking distance of shops) they wouldn't need me anymore to take them shopping and I would be free to find my own place. However, I printed a list of about 60 properties within my budget and my mother said none of them was big enough! She also suggested that if I left they couldn't afford to even maintain the house even if I bought it outright for them, and that they didn't think I'd be capable of living independently anyway (probably because of various mental health issues I have -- nervous behaviours such as biting fingers being one of the main ones...)
I'm no environmentalist (check out some of my posts in the pro-nuclear power blogosphere) but even I would shudder at the carbon footprint left by a Texas-NYC commuter!
True, and nowhere more so than the North East!
My mother has often taunted me by saying that I'm barely better off than my cousin (who's in a minimum wage job) once my commuting costs (25 miles each way, more or less) are taken into account. And back in last July, when I put my CV back online as I was expecting to be made redundant -- I got phone calls from recruiters saying "you could be making over £30k/year down south"...
I didn't really "choose gamedev" per se.

My first attempt at getting a job after my viva (that's "thesis defense" for you Yanks) was at Scott Logic Ltd, which writes financial web applications. I was there for two months on trial at the end of 2006, but failed to keep the job. Perhaps it's because even back then Lehman Brothers -- then Scott Logic's main client -- was in trouble. Perhaps it's because banks were increasingly moving development in-house, or perhaps my own soft skills weren't up to scratch. I'm not sure which was the most important factor...

In 2007 I got about half a dozen interviews for IT jobs, in various fields. I think my hobby of developing freeware instrument panels for Microsoft Flight Simulator (in the portfolio linked from my online CV, you'll see some screenshots of these -- alternatively google "Historic Jetliners Group" for samples of my work) may have helped me get my foot in the door with a games developer.

StatGuy2000

If it is not practical for you to relocate away from the North East England, then perhaps seeking telecommuting positions may be your best option (telecommuting is quite common in the IT sector and is increasingly common in both Canada and the US, and as I've indicated earlier, it is becoming more common in the UK as well). Speak to recruiters and inquire about such opportunities.

Of course, another option would be to seek positions in and emigrate from the UK, bringing your entire family with you, to places like Canada, Australia or New Zealand (all countries that are doing relatively well given the current economic climate, and with a long-standing history since the colonial period of absorbing immigrants).

meldraft

There is really no need to defend your position, your reasons are your own and well-respected. I really feel that it's not my (or anyone's for that matter) place to tell you what to do in your life, but since you are stating your problem to us, I would like to share my experience with the hope that you will find it helpful.

The one useful point that Rika's post made was (although very badly stated) that at some point you will have to make a choice. It may not be today, or in 5 years, but if at some point you want a family and a life that is truly your own, you will have to satisfy your yearning. And it will be even harder to leave home as more years pass, because your parents will grow older.

I come from a country that is slowly being destroyed, and I can tell you first hand that leaving your parents back home while things are going crazy is not easy, and you never really stop worrying about what might happen. My mother told me however to go, since I cannot make my life based on what they might need, but based on what will make me happy. So I left the country for a place with more hope. I wish that my decision had been whether I should move to a different city or not. I do not just let them fend for themselves, and if they ever truly need me more, I will either return to help them out, or move them abroad with me.

I am certain that your mother loves you and wants you to be happy, so she is very unlikely to think that you are stabbing her in the back. You can still help and provide financial and moral support, even if you are living further away. The only thing you are truly risking in my opinion is the chance that you might turn bitter in a few years, thinking you were held back and spent some of the best years of your life in something you didn't really want. Besides, setting up a career and getting better salaries would help you ensure a much better life for your parents and that is your goal, isn't it?

In any case, this is the end of my little rant, I would just like to give you an advice: Discuss your problem with your parents, see what they think. You might be surprised at what they tell you

GCarty

I've also asked about these problems of mine on WrongPlanet.net (it's in The Haven, and the thread title is "Is there anything I can do about my mother's life of hell?"), in case anyone wants to cross-reference the threads.

As if things couldn't get any worse, the council will be ripping the house apart sometime in the next month to upgrade the heating! (And given how tightly packed the upstairs rooms in particular are with stuff, I don't see how we can cope at all!)

My mother gets angry with me because I don't want to spend time with her! (But that's because I have a feeling that she just wants to use me as an emotional punching bag...) She often says "why do you think you can put things right by throwing money at them -- money which you HAVEN'T EVEN WORKED FOR! It's TIME and AFFECTION which I want!"

StatGuy2000

meldraft said it best that at some point you have to make a choice as to whether you want to give up all your ambitions for the sake of your parents, or start to make some ambitions for yourself and live your own life. After all, you are still able to support your parents financially even if you don't live with them.

If your mother does not understand your need to do this at this stage, then I'm afraid she may never will, but you cannot let that hold you back. Obviously, if you can find better employment close to where you currently live in the North East of England (which might be difficult given the current UK economy), then all is good. However, if you have no other choice but to relocate for a better work and life for yourself, you should not hesitate.

GCarty

Is there anything I could do before I got my own place to ensure that my mother would still have someone to talk to (other than my dad with all his mental problems resulting from the brain haemorrhage)? Her parents are both dead, her brother and my dad's parents want nothing to do with us, and she has no friends...

StatGuy2000

What does your mother do in her spare time? Does your mother have any hobbies that she enjoys doing for herself? My mother enjoys knitting and sewing; she even knitted me the winter hat which I wear during the cold Canadian winters to this day! :-)

I would kindly suggest you discuss with her about taking up such hobbies, if she doesn't do so already, as this would give her some activity that could engage her, and make her feel less lonely. I'm positive there are also knitting classes available that she could join (the English are famous for their yarn, so there should be no shortage of places to study knitting), and this could give her an opportunity to make new friends.

GCarty

That could be a problem as I live in a former mining village with very few amenities, and if I left home there'd be no-one there who could drive, and she's unwilling or unable to pay to travel by bus...

ParticleGrl

Honestly, it sounds like the stress of the situation isn't doing much to help anything. You and your mother both should maybe try to find some sort of outlet from your stress (outside of each other). Personally, I've always found too much stress keeps me from functioning well enough to deal with problems of any kind.

As for work, look for telecommuting options, as some others have suggested- if you can't move, do whatever you can to raise your income without leaving home. The money will give you more flexibility in dealing with the other problems.

meldraft

To quote something from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2, when you help someone, you often deprive them of the opportunity to grow and become able to fend for themselves. As much as you love someone, you sometimes need to take a step back and let them learn how to deal with life's difficulties without your help. Just because you are younger and you may always be there, it doesn't mean that you should. That is not the role of children

mayonaise

I used to be a racing game dev, too. We would envy you British people because you have all those good studios such as Codemasters, SMS, Black Rock and Bizarre Creations (now Playground?) We never knew how much you guys were paid, though, until I read your story. Anyway, I'm just another gamedev coming to say hi.

GCarty

At least that's been cancelled now, thank goodness!

(When the housing officers came on Monday to have a look at our situation, it probably helped a great deal that one of them himself had a 14-year old autistic son.)

phylotree

An apparent case people experience is after they could land on some kind of jobs, they would need work to do; so, if they are assigned with too many tasks, they'll be buried and complain that they are probably being ill-treated; but if they have nothing to do, they may become bored of their current jobs. Oh well, I have met an accountant who was asked to create a payment request in a single page of MS Word, and it took her the whole day to do just that.
In daily routine at the company, there are tasks/works we never want to do because they are dumb and boring but that only happens when we work for others.

turbo

As suggested earlier, GCarty, is there any way you can can telecommute so you can stay physically close, yet earn more money? One of my neighbors is a programmer who has lots of clients in the Boston area, yet he can stay in Maine for much of the time and do upgrades, etc from here. I wish his wife could do the same because my wife and I like them both and would love to have them as permanent neighbors, not part-timers. Some jobs are not amenable to telecommuting, but you may be able to work into a position that is. Good luck.

mal4mac

See if the local universities are offering any programming jobs. You should be able to (at least!) start on what you are earning now. Then there is an automatic increment each year, and maybe a bonus as well (plus generous final salary pension...) With a PhD you might even be able to move onto the academic side of things, if you do research-oriented programming.
Try searching jobs.ac.uk. Don't be put off by "fixed term contract", once you are in and if you do your job(!), then permanent contracts usually follow.