Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

Math Is Hard

well, yes. At what infinitesmal point in time does the spider's leg touch the table edge, and at that time, where does the table edge end and the leg begin?

But who cares. JFK Grimwalt, inventor of the famous jellycide, JelBGone, died in 1997. Why was this officially called a case of suicidal carbon monoxide poisoning despite the raised purple whelps found on his body at the time of death?

zoobyshoe

News travels backward when your hard at work, and it was freezing in the cockpit of the B-17 bound for Schweinfurt when we recieved the news of Grimwalt's demise. His death was a shock to us since, from our perspective, he hadn't been born yet. We had no time to mourn: there were ball bearing factories to blast to pieces, and the navigator had us on edge with occasional complaints about his Norden Bomb Sight. Anyway we knew our work against the Nazi menace was just a prelude to JFK Grimwalt's future fight against nocturnally roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish.

Grimwalt, we learned, had been killed by hideous Überquallen, the secret Nazi super-jellyfisch that were being bred to take over the role of the Unterseeboot. The war was over before they could put this nefarious plan into action, but they had already released several of the grotesque monstrosities into the Atlantic for trial runs.

With an instinct for self preservation like no other creature on earth, the Überquallen had simply smelled Grimwalts intention to develop anti-jellie technologies, had slowly triangulated his position, and converged on him one terrible night in 1997.

Of course, JelBGone, was already a fait accompli, and in use on a daily basis to beat back the tides of nocturnally roving herds of weird, purple jellyfish that disrupt the sleep of the good and wicked alike, but not without it's inventor paying the ultimate price.

The existence of Überquallen, however, must never be made known to the public least there be panic in the streets. Therefore, his death was ruled suicide by automobile exhaust poisoning. That just hapened to be the next fake cause of death on the list.

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The place was jumpin'. Uncle Stanley's Six Piece Quartette was on the podium neath the high roof blasting out New Orleans Dixieland. A tap on the shoulder turned me around to face a smiling guy with a clipboard. "Would you like to take my "hug survey" he asked.

What should I have said?

Mattara

You should have corrected his grammer and spelling.

"hug" is actually meant to be "huge" and "survey" is related to Swedens geological suvey (google).

So what the guy was actually a psychotic murderer with a thing for dirty sweds. He must have approached the wrong person..His ultimate plane was to take you outside and burry you alive in 20 feet of dirt on the oarking lot. But seeing as you are a and or the zoobyshoe, you could have just turned around and eaten his bow-tie.

Why have you not been to your normal tie-bow class?

jimmie

No energy, the stairmaster is killing me.

Speaking of stairs, what do you get when you walk down the crowded street naked except for a couple of fig leafs?

Mattara

Well I assume that by "naked" you mean "dekan" which sort of reminds me of the head of a college. If you have a couple of fig leaves your measurement is not that accurate, you need more than a few fig leaves to get it accurate. I guess that would be kicked out of college for that.

What is college?

Livingod

if by "college" you mean "glue," it is the adhesive material that you may sniff for pleasure (warning: may cause you to see dragons) and waste by smearing it between two objects to stick them together.

Having said that, I have no idea what "college" is, thus, using my wonderful speechcraft, I effortlessly changed the subject. So what is "college" really?

jimmie

College is where one is constantly reminded of the differences between a quetion and an anser to that quetion, enabling the individual to first: provide an anser to a stupid quetion, and second, ask a stupid quetion that requires a stupid anser, respectively.

I've always wondered: is it possible for an individual to know the differences between a stupid quetion and a stupid anser if they do not have tuition for college but have intuition?

madcat11

no, I only hate it when sh*t happens (fill in the asterisk..)

Is asterisk fillling ever used in cooking?

Livingod

It's not so important as to have intuition, but one must BE intuition. For, if one is out of tuition, they won't be offered a quetion, needless to mention.


When will a**holes posting here learn to read instructions? (fill in the asterisks...)

jimmie

Antholes do not pose a threat. It's the colonies of antholians therein that I am wary of.

Speaking of democracy, does constantly having to deal with parasitic-like entities bug you?

Livingod

This issue has been leeching on me for decades. We've had a mosquito problem back in the day, yet the problem itches to be solved to this day. At the time, we made the temporary and rash, yet effective desicion to utilize bug spray. But nowadays, that solution has become a real pest. The common household mosquito exposed to the spray eventually develops immunities to such bothers. Those buggers develop huge biceps, you know, real fly and sh*t. They get all the girls too, with their muscles, and their intricate web of lies. While the male human population sits around at home with nothing more than hand lotion by our side. (Pardon the language...) That's the reason I left that hellhole of a village, overrun by mosquitoes as it is, and moved here to New York. Here, you don't need bug spray to kill mosquitoes, a BMW or a Ferrari will do. And the best part: no one can be immune to five hundred horses slamming into your rear end as you fly around trying to find even somethign that looks like a tree.


Whew, that got the best of me. Now as for the rest of me:
Speaking of pots, puns, pans, and the such, how long does it take you to cook an egg sunny side up? (Mine never separate from the pan)

Math Is Hard

If you are like Hamhiu, you cook it until it takes on a shape that holds symbolic meaning for you.
http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=119593 A bit more time is then required to plan your day around what the egg has foretold.

My 1/3 Ukranian great-grandmother did fried-egg reading back in the great depression years, when tea leaves were scarce. She also did divination with bacon grease, toast crust and jelly splatters. But granny never accepted money for using her powers, there was only one thing she would accept in return for telling a person's fortune. That was, that was.. shoot! what WAS that?

Livingod

Well, seeing as how being 1/3 of any nationality is impossible, but then again, so is naming a wooden puppet Pinoccio and watching it come alive, but people tell that story anyway. So my best guess would be that she would accept to "be a real boy" but in this case it would be to be a real great-granny which would mean that if someone wanted a reading, they would have to marry her granddaughter (a.k.a. your mother) and have a child. Assuming that the child is you, then your father must have gotten a reading from your great granny.

Now there is one thing that has not been cleared up: What did your father see in his fortune?

Danger

A 'stupid quetion' is self-explanatory. A 'stupid anser' is a 'silly goose', but the term has gone out of common usage.


I'm not really playing this, but I couldn't let that go by.

Livingod

With its nonsensical posts and many twists and turns that we forgot what the last quetion was, this thread has started to be like a FOX reality show. Let's refresh everyone's memory one more time:

Now there is one thing that has not been cleared up: What did your father see in his fortune?


P.S. Newcomers, READ THE FIRST PAGE FOR THE RULES AND INSTRUCTIONS FOR THIS THREAD!!!11111111112

Math Is Hard

What my father saw was a vision of three Chinese dumplings on a plate, and as he reached for the first one it said, "If you eat me, you will be smart but not wise", so he hesitated, and reached for the second one. It said, "If you eat me, you will be wise but not smart". Again he hesitated, but then he reached for the third one and it said, "If you eat me, you will be neither smart nor wise, but the pretty waitress will go home with you, and she will make you delicious dumplings for the rest of your life."

Which did he choose?

Danger

I'm not a newcomer; I just don't like to colour inside the lines.