"My favorite jokes" thread

You're just 4 days younger than me, don't act like a kiddie.

Sides, you wouldn't hear them anyway, you'd probably read them.

Daniel.

Seriously now, why not?

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO

Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den,
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my names Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.
ABBOTT: Software for windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can
use to write proposals, track expenses and run my
business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office a nd it has
windows! OK, lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer
and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you
don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget
that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I
watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I
need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel
2, 3 and 4. Can I
watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer a nd I want to watch
a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1."
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?
ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for
windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But its the most popular Word in
the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
Words left. It Pretty much wiped out all the other
Words.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One
isn't even Part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about
financial bookkeeping you have anything I can track my
money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(LATER)

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??
ABBOTT: Click on "START"
....................................


Daniel.

Sep. 11th! 2 disaster! (well, I know lots of people who was born on sep. 11th!)

Why do you know some dirty jokes if you're really innocent?

I won't read them!

Sorry, I was too excited about your birthday, so I forgot to answer your question!
You know some of dirty jokes are really disgusting!

And if you tell me 1 of them, you'll always remind me of that joke and I'll prefer not to talk to you!

Now if you dislike talking to me, go ahead! That's the best way to get rid of me!

There ain't nobody like me, that's for sure.

I'm innocent= I haven't been convicted.

I won't post them.

I dunno if you'll remember me,

Daniel.

Remember I asked you about and ?

You know seems to be kind of stupid and as you said childish!But I think is better for you.

Oh perfect.Maybe innocent means a clever criminal!

I won't forget you forever! (add it to "Women top lies" list but seriously I don't think I'll forget you because I have a good memory.

And how do you want to change it after you leave here?