Beauty vs. Brains

lwymarie

I need an intelligent partner to compensate my stupidity...

mattmns

Great Question! Seriously a mind boggler.

The other day this came up actually: My mom asked me about girls at my school, and I told her that there are plenty of good looking girls, just that 99% of them are idiots. She seemed fine with the response.

On that note, maybe it is acceptable because intelligence is harder to find?

This is an excellent question, one that I will definitely have to think about.

Evo

I've dated men that were not considered attractive at all, but I loved their personalities.

A lot of men that are considered attractive I consider ugly and vice versa.

I love nerdy types with glasses. But they have to be funny.

pattylou

A comment about Evo:



Don't we all, from time to time. Evo, you're so frank, and I really admire that!

pattylou

Put it in context. THe "you only like me for my body" cliche was started during women's liberation.

We still aren't paid equally in the workplace; there is still bias against a woman's intelligence and contributions.

That being said, imo a date absolutely has to pass on looks. Two average looking people - one intelligent the other not - the intelligent one willwin. Two averagely intelligent people - one physically appealling and one not - Hmmm. THat's tougher, as there is baggage associated with really good looks (like vanity).

Don't you think the really physically attractivewomen haveabove average intelligence? Isn't that part of their appeal?

matthyaouw

I had thoughts along similar lines a while ago, and it occured to me that physical appearence will almost always be a factor. Can you have a physical relationship with someone you don't find at all physically attractive, or would it be no more than a close friendship?

Evo

Don't you find it true that a person's personality affects how you see them?

I think men and women differ some here. I know men that will date women that are horrid just because he thinks she looks "hot". Women are more likely to dump a guy, no matter how good looking he is, if he turns out to be a jerk.

matthyaouw

Yes. A woman will look 100x more beautiful to me if I am attracted to her personality-wise.
Perhaps I'm not expressing myself very well. I can't think of a better way to say what I mean though.

ron damon

I need a girl I can share life with, so she has to be passionate about science, music, art, culture, books, and the human condition. I like girls with opinions.

The girls I find most beautiful didn't seem so at first, second, or third sight. Only after glimpsing at their inner world have I found a girl to be incredibly, dizzyingly beautiful.

An entirely different thing involves sex. Then it's all aesthetics, and one can only enjoy the moment. But sex is cheap, abundant.

Kerrie

well, some women will put up with a lot if he has a lot of money....

wolram

I have, £2 6s 2p, how far will that get me?

matthyaouw

Thats the kind of question that will get a man a slap in most places (maybe even a cigarette put out on his face if he's unlucky).

Zantra

then that would be "some pig"

Or maybe his name is "babe"

Zantra

And those same women eventually find out that money can't smooth everything over. Money's a bonus, not the mainstay- if you make it that, you'll be miserable.

TheStatutoryApe

Personally when I say a woman is attractive I am not refering in any great degree to her physical appearance. If I say a woman is "hot" or "sexy" then I am refering to her physical appearance but even words like "cute", "beautiful", and "gorgeous" in my mind have to do with alot more than just the way a woman looks. So personally if I find a woman very attractive then she is most likely above average in intelligence. I have though seen quite a few girls that I thought were incredibly sexy based off of their physical appearance but then I heard them speak and was completely turned off. I have though developed a few safety measures concerning what I look for in a woman that I think make it less likely I will go after a girl that will trun out to be a ditz. If a woman apears to need regular trips to the salon to keep her hair looking the way it does it's generally a turn off. If a woman wears fake nails it's generally a trun off. Fake breasts: turn off. Slutty clothes: turn off. And several details about the way they dress and carry themselves all sort of combine to help me weigh out whether or not they seem to possibly be my type.

The reason I was thinking about this again is because there is this girl I have been talking to online. It's not likely that I will actually persue anything with her at all but we flirt alot and I have been threatening to ask her out. The thing is that she isn't very bright. When she first started talking to me I almost decided to ignore her until I saw that she was a fan of the Rat Pack and figured that she must not be all that bad. Since then I have found that she's incredibly sweet, we have quite a bit in common, and she seems relatively mature. The more I have talked to her the more attracted to her I have become. It still though bothers me that she seems to only be about average in regards to her intelligence. She is though incredibly hot lol.

TheStatutoryApe

I've actually had a differant experience. Most of the women I know have dated guys that may have been good looking but were complete jerks and stayed with them for long periods of time. I've seen plenty of guys stay with women that weren't very attractive at all, and I mean in more than just the physical sense, because they didn't think that they could do any better and these women definitely weren't "hot".

pattylou

Wow. Neat. Well, remember Spock's warning when Kirk beat him during Pon Fahr, and enjoy the chase.

I suppose you could start looking at your lesser priorities - does she have any hobbies you enjoy? Does she have any habits (like smoking) that would be difficult? What's her relationship with her parents like? If a person has a good relationship with their parents, that usually means they are a reasonable bet in terms of relationship. (Not to generalize, of course.)

Does she value edication? When I was teaching at a local college, there were some average students who really valued ediucation - and they were much more pleasant to be around than the average students who thought education was a waste of time. If she values edication, even if she struggles with it, then she has an active mind and that's good.