Your opinion on this dating issue...

JasonRox

As some of you may know, I had a little break up with my girlfriend like 5-6 weeks ago.

We still talk and are working things out. The first 4 weeks were really rough. Things are just starting to get much better. Also, we see each other once a week.

This past weekend I just met a girl, a nice one too, and I'm kind of interested.

Would it be wrong to go on a date with this girl?

She is aware of my current situation, and she didn't seem to mind much.

So, is it wrong?

Evo

No, it's not wrong as long as you are honest with the girl so she can decide how to proceed. It sounds like she is aware of your recent breakup, so I see no problem.

Moonbear

I agree with Evo, as long as she knows the current situation (and you really are intending to break up or stay broken up with the other woman), then there isn't any problem. It would only be a problem if you're still trying to get back together with the first one, in which case this would seriously complicate it (but might still be a big hint that you really should move on).

JasonRox

I wish I knew this earlier.

I was afraid to ask her for her e-mail or phone number. I thought it was wrong to do so.

Yes, she does know about it, and how I think it's not going as good.

Of course, I plan on choosing one, but I don't think I can make that decision without having a date with the other.

brewnog

If you're keen to go out with another girl, then it's pretty clear that the previous relationship is over, as long as you're not just after a bit of skirt before you go back on your knees to try and get back with the first one (that doesn't work, by the way).

Just be honest with them both, it'll be fine.

Anyway, it's been 5-6 weeks, it's not like you're in an immediate rebound scenario...

Moonbear

And it's just a date, not a committment. So, yeah, that's reasonable that you'd want to go on a date with the new one to find out if she's worth leaving the old one. That's what dating is all about, especially when you're still young and looking. Somehow things have changed that young people seem to think if they go out on one date with someone, they have to stay dating them long-term, but you really can just go out on lots of dates with lots of people and then decide if any are worth continuing to date, and if you continue to date them, then you decide if they are worth being in a "relationship" with, etc. It's all step-by-step, and the first step is to just go on A date.

JasonRox

Well, the likelyhood that I see this girl again is pretty slim. Since, we didn't exchange any contacts.

It's just nice to hear that I'm not being an *** or something.

brewnog

I suppose only you know that.

If, deep down, you were doing it to try and shag around before going back to the ex just because you could, then the chances are that you were being an ***.

On the other hand, if you were actually doing it because the relationship had clearly come to an end, and you were ready to move on, then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as both the girls knew what the deal was.

Smurf

I woulda boned her.

Moonbear

Where did you meet her? Do you know anybody in common who you could ask for her number or pass along your number through them so she could contact you if she's interested? Or did you meet in a place that she might visit again where there's a chance you could bump into her again? Or should we just tell you you're an *** so you don't feel bad about missing out on an opportunity you should have taken?

JasonRox

For everyone's information, I'm not in this for action.

I'm not dating for action.

I'm not trying to fix things with my ex-gf for action.

I'm not trying to get with this girl for action.

Any assumptions that regards sexual actions shouldn't be on here.

Even if I end up going on a date with this girl (if I somehow talk to her again), I didn't even plan on giving a kiss or anything. People said a kiss is fine because sometimes by not doing it you can ruin the date depending on plenty of things. That is still in question for me.

I'm just interested. I believe there is nothing wrong with that.

Smurf

Hey man, just my opinion. Wasn't saying anything 'bout you.

brewnog

Nah, no assumptions Jason! Was just giving some ifs and thens. After all, you should be able to decide for yourself whether or not you're being nasty/unreasonable/whatever. But you knew what I meant, if you're doing it for the right reasons and with good intentions, then there's nowt wrong with that.

JasonRox

It's all good intentions.

Well, I hope all goes well and get to speak to this girl. Not very often you find a good one... almost never.

outsider

You have to decide if you are
1) trying to fix things with your ex so you can get back together with her
2) make it happen with the new girl

if you meet the new girl, you are not being faithful to your intentions with your ex and therefore it will be prone to fail eventually

if you maintain a close friendship with your ex while persuing your new interest you will not be giving the new girl a fair chance as you and your ex have history and it will always be easy to go back to her.

either way, play on playa.

Evo

Not necessarily, sometimes dating someone else is all that's needed to make you realize that the old relationship is what you want.

I agree with Moonbear, when I grew up, "steady" dating (of just one person) was not encouraged, some parents wouldn't even allow it, only letting their kids date as long as it wasn't the same person exclusively, "going steady" was a BIG deal. It was more common to date a number of people, no one exclusively.

Jason, I hope you can find the new girl and get to know her. It will help you to put your old relationship into perspective.

The_Professional

1. You're better off with the new girl but take it slow.

2. Don't repeat the same mistake you did with your ex.

3. It ain't wrong, even if your ex-gf says so. Even if the Pope says so.

4. Have fun