Physics as women

Kalimaa23

P H Y S I C A L T H E O R I E S
A S W O M E N .

BY SIMON DEDEO

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0. Newtonian gravity is your high-school girlfriend. As your first
encounter with physics, she's amazing. You will never forget Newtonian
gravity, even if you're not in touch very much anymore.

1. Electrodynamics is your college girlfriend. Pretty complex, you probably
won't date long enough to really understand her.

2. Special relativity is the girl you meet at the dorm party while you're
dating electrodynamics. You make out. It's not really cheating because it's
not like you call her back. But you have a sneaking suspicion she knows
electrodynamics and told her everything.

3. Quantum mechanics is the girl you meet at the poetry reading. Everyone
thinks she's really interesting and people you don't know are obsessed
about her. You go out. It turns out that she's pretty complicated and has
some issues. Later, after you've broken up, you wonder if her aura of
mystery is actually just confusion.

4. General relativity is your high-school girlfriend all grown up. Man, she
is amazing. You sort of regret not keeping in touch. She hates quantum
mechanics for obscure reasons.

5. Quantum field theory is from overseas, but she doesn't really have an
accent. You fall deeply in love, but she treats you horribly. You are
pretty sure she's fooling around with half of your friends, but you don't
care. You know it will end badly.

6. Cosmology is the girl that doesn't really date, but has lots of hot
friends. Some people date cosmology just to hang out with her friends.

7. Analytical classical mechanics is a bit older, and knows stuff you don't.

8. String theory is off in her own little world. She is either profound or
insane. If you start dating, you never see your friends anymore. It's just
string theory, 24/7.