You must be incredibly smart to always be able to do math and physics problems in pen. D:
I try to, but it turns into a mess of big x's and scribbling.
I'm taking several physics/math courses this term, and I have no choice but to be writing constantly while taking notes and doing problem sets. My handwriting is very messy unless I grip my (mechanical) pencil tightly, and that ends up causing my wrist to start hurting (which has been a slight...
Take this as advice from someone who was extremely depressed during high school and thought exactly the same ideas you're expressing now -- Do your absolute best to get out of whatever environment you're in.
If you're 18 already, aren't you going to graduate from high school soon? At least for...