What makes this email so special?

[Evo]

This has been around for years, but thought I'd share with any that haven't seen it yet.

Importance of punctuation

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Gloria

*****
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

 

[graphic7]

It's interesting how much punctuation can have an effect on what we write. By just moving a few commas or periods around (without changing any words, whatsoever), the letters are completely different from one another.

Good example, though.

 

[Sweet & Intellectual]

lol!

Like John, don't like John.

Punctuation is very important. =)

 

[Gokul43201]

Oh yes. And when you omit the comma that separates clauses, you can make for a real interesting faux pas.

Newspaper ad :

Wanted. Bath-tub for baby with reinforced bottom.

 

[recon]

Have any of you read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Trust? It is a pretty entertaining book about punctuation.

 

[Gokul43201]

I've heard the joke, but haven't read the book. Since the joke itself is pertinent to this thread, and there may be a few here that haven't heard it, here goes :

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires several shots, completely wrecking the place. “Why?” asks the confused waiter as the panda heads for the exit. The animal produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it to the waiter. “I’m a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.”

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and reads: “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

 

[Chrono]

Like John, don't like John.

Wait, who's John, anyway?

 

[The Bob]

Have any of you read "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Trust? It is a pretty entertaining book about punctuation.

It is on my table downstairs. I might read it soon, if I have time.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[JasonRox]

I've heard the joke, but haven't read the book. Since the joke itself is pertinent to this thread, and there may be a few here that haven't heard it, here goes :

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires several shots, completely wrecking the place. “Why?” asks the confused waiter as the panda heads for the exit. The animal produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it to the waiter. “I’m a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.”

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and reads: “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

That's a good one. :rofl:

 

[Chrono]

It is on my table downstairs. I might read it soon, if I have time.

I also have it but haven't been able to pick it up.

 

[Gokul43201]

I also have it but haven't been able to pick it up.

Wow ! Is it that heavy ?

 

[The Bob]

Wow ! Is it that heavy ?

Yep. It is full of intellectual (quality) jokes. Therefore the mass is higher than a normal joke book.

e.g. Normal Book: 0.01kg or 10 g per Chapter
Quality Book: 0.05kg or 50g per Chapter

Normal Book = 10 Chapters
=> 10g x 10 C = 100g

Quality Book = 40 Chapters
=> 50g x 40 C = 2000g or 2 kg.

This simple example shows that a normal book is lighter than a quality book.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

Wow ! Is it that heavy ?

No, it's just I'm too weak to pick it up. I've only been able to pick up a few sheets of paper at a time now. Hopefully, by the end of the year, I'll be able to pick it up.

 

[Artman]

This has been around for years, but thought I'd share with any that haven't seen it yet.

Importance of punctuation

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Gloria

*****
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

I messed with it some more. (Just removed one word.)

Dear John:
I want a man!
Who knows what love is? All about you? Are generous, kind, thoughtful, people (who are not like you admit to being) useless and inferior? You have ruined me! For other men I yearn for, you have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart!
I can be Forever happy. Will you let me be?
yours,
Gloria

 

[Gokul43201]

Well messed. Bravo !

 

[LURCH]

I almost hate to admit it, but some friends and I used to mess around with punctuation in the Bible. There is no punctuation in the original text, so my conscience is somewhat releaved. We mostly just moved commas around.

For instance, Romans 1:13 can read; "...I would not have you, ignorant bretheren..."

Or Ephesians 4:28; "He that has been steeling, let him steal! No more let him work and do something usefull with his hands..."

 

[Evo]

I almost hate to admit it, but some friends and I used to mess around with punctuation in the Bible. There is no punctuation in the original text, so my conscience is somewhat releaved. We mostly just moved commas around.

For instance, Romans 1:13 can read; "...I would not have you, ignorant bretheren..."

Or Ephesians 4:28; "He that has been steeling, let him steal! No more let him work and do something usefull with his hands..."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Yep, those little symbols are important.

 

[BoulderHead]

that that is is that that is not is not…

I once saw nearly a paragraph of words similar to the above. If I had only saved a copy it would have gone great with the theme of this thread. Now for a pause that refreshes...,

 

[Evo]

I once saw nearly a paragraph of words similar to the above. If I had only saved a copy it would have gone great with the theme of this thread. Now for a pause that refreshes...,

Damn I'm good! :rofl:

I found it.

that that is is that that is not is not that that is is not that that is not that that is not is not that that is is that not it it is

http://www.creativepuzzels.nl/spel/speel1/speel2/punct-2.htm

 

[BoulderHead]

You're damn good !

That’s it :yuck: and it's simply maddening to my mind to attempt reading such rubbish. It is much worse than 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles I so despise. :uhh:

 

[Gokul43201]

A : When does the XYZ train stop at this station ?
B : It'll be here from 1:58 to 2:02 pm.

A : And what about train ABC ?
B : Two to two to two two too.

 

[Chi Meson]

Punctuate this!

The following CAN make a proper sentence.

John where Jim had had had had had had had had had had had the best effect on the teacher.

 

[Gokul43201]

I think this is missing a conjunction separating clauses...no ?

John, where Jim had had 'had', had had 'had had', and 'had had' had had the best effect on the teacher.

Guess there's another solution, I'm not seeing... :uhh:

Would a semicolon or hyphen pass off in the place of the conjunction ?

 

[arildno]

Selten ess' ich Essich; ess' ich Essich, ess' ich Essich mit Saladen..

 

[Gokul43201]

Was ist das?

 

[The Bob]

Selten ess' ich Essich; ess' ich Essich, ess' ich Essich mit Saladen..

ess'? Was ist 'ess''? Ich lerne nicht das in meine Stunde, aber meine Deutsch ist schon für mich. Ist das Deutsch aber ist das Dutch?

So many question but my german is no good for it.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[arildno]

"Rarely do I eat vinegar; when I do eat vinegar, then I eat vinegar with salads.."
It hasn't quite the same degree of "Schwung"

Another one (attributed to Goethe) is the following:
"Eifersucht ist eine Leidenschaft, die mit Eifer sucht was Leiden schafft"

 

[The Bob]

Another one is in French (when translated): He headed towards the green glass of worms. That translated is funny to listen to.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[arildno]

Another one is in French (when translated): He headed towards the green glass of worms. That translated is funny to listen to.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Gokul43201]

A veritable tongue twister, what ?

 

[arildno]

Punctuate this!

The following CAN make a proper sentence.

John where Jim had had had had had had had had had had had the best effect on the teacher.

Is this correct?
John, where Jim had had 'had', had had 'had had'; 'had had' had had the best effect on the teacher.

 

[Gokul43201]

Is this correct?
John, where Jim had had 'had', had had 'had had'; 'had had' had had the best effect on the teacher.

This is what I had suggested, but I'm not especially happy with it. I'm sure Chi has a better answer.

 

[arildno]

Oops, sorry for nicking your semi-colon idea Gokul..

 

[Chi Meson]

This is what I had suggested, but I'm not especially happy with it. I'm sure Chi has a better answer.

Uh, no. THat's about it. I didn't say it was a great sentence. I came up with that in the seventh grade (1977), although I don't think it was entirely original. We were learning the past-perfect tense, and my friends and I tried to see haw many "had"s we could string together.