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1 Day Engagement

  1. Dec 11, 2012 #1
    1 Day "Engagement"

    If your sister or best friend came home and said, "I'm married. He asked me yesterday and we went to city hall to got the paperwork." How would you feel?

    Note: This person is girly and a house-wife type. And she also wants to know everything about your love life, like who you date, or who you have a crush on.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2012
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  3. Dec 11, 2012 #2

    Evo

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    I'm assuming it's someone they met yesterday.

    I would wish them good luck, knowing that they're going to need it. Chances are they'll soon be parted.

    Now, if they'd known each other at least a year and were ready for marriage, nothing wrong with deciding to elope.
     
  4. Dec 12, 2012 #3

    MarneMath

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    I'm pretty sure my wife told her parents/sister that the day after we got married -_-.
     
  5. Dec 12, 2012 #4

    turbo

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    My wife and I eloped. We had been together for over 1/2 year, though. Nobody knew we were marrying, except each of our best friends and the JP (another common friend), and we were married in the living room of our apartment. Our friends were very good at keeping the secret. Ditty never told anybody, nor did Bill (who is now dying of liver cancer). The only person who was not wearing jeans and a T-shirt was the JP. She was wearing a suit-skirt combo. Quite overdressed, but she took her job seriously.

    My wife's family and mine were really pissed about the secrecy and just had to put on a reception party for us. I didn't like the attention, but that's the way things were. 40 years ago, it was rare for people around here to get married without some kind of formal church service, much less an in-home civil ceremony.
     
  6. Dec 12, 2012 #5

    fluidistic

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    I don't know how I would feel but I'd say "Wow you're crazy".
    I've heard Rostropovich (the cellist) asked to marry Galina after they knew each other for 3 days. That was in a documentary on his life and said by his wife in person. They've been married until his death.
     
  7. Dec 12, 2012 #6
    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    Strange, I'm not allow to edit my post.

    I'll clarify and say the couple has been together for 5+ years now so people wouldn't think it's so crazy

    For me, I don't have a problem with not having a wedding. But if someone important to me is doing something as big as marriage, I would like to be there and celebrate it. Lolz turbo, that's probably how your parents felt.

    I don't know. I'm trying to figure out if I'm insane for being upset.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2012
  8. Dec 12, 2012 #7

    turbo

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    Don't be upset, sourlemon. Grant them their privacy and give them room to operate. Folks need to have freedom to function. I wish I had had cameras back then to record the "ceremony". With my wife and I and our witnesses in the most casual dress you might imagine for February, and with the JP in a suit-skirt we were probably a stitch. Our families rented the local fire-hall for the reception. That wasn't as fun as one might imagine. Older aunts inundated us with stuff that was totally inappropriate for our tiny apartment and modest life-style, like silver-plated chafing dishes. Lawn-sale!
     
  9. Dec 12, 2012 #8

    Evo

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    How the couple wishes to marry should be the only thing that matters.

    Unless, of course, they want some extravaganza that would put their family in financial trouble.

    I got married by a justice of the peace at my first husband's parent's house because his mother insisted on a wedding. Only my mom and my best friend, his parents and brother and sister-in-law where there. My dad reused to go, he said he would never be under the same roof as that "crazy woman", my husband's mother. I had to agree, she was insane and a nightmare.

    My second and last marriage, we got married at the courthouse during our lunch hour. No one attended (we didn't tell anyone)
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2012
  10. Dec 12, 2012 #9

    lisab

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    Weddings are overrated and really irrelevant, imo.

    It's the marriage that's the important thing.
     
  11. Dec 13, 2012 #10

    turbo

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    Yep. The love and commitment are the important things - no ceremony required for those.
     
  12. Dec 13, 2012 #11

    BobG

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    I'd say it depends on how the couple sees themselves relative to the 'group' (whatever group that may be - family, friends, etc). And how they handle their marriage is a statement about that.

    Excluding the group from their marriage says they see themselves as something separate from the group, even if they hang around the group. They don't see the group as being an integral part of their lives.

    Nothing wrong with that (in fact, I'd consider that healthy, but I've never really been a 'group' type person). But it might be a little disturbing to those that thought the couple were full members of the group; those that saw themselves as an integral part of the couple's lives.
     
  13. Dec 13, 2012 #12
    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    BobG, you really hit the nail on the head there. I thought I was part of their lives.

    This actually sprouted from a misunderstanding. We talked it out and we're better now. But I was just wondering if it's normal to be upset in a situation like this. As BobG said, I felt like I was a part of their lives, so when I thought I was excluded, I just felt betray. But you guys are right. It is their marriage. They should marry however they see fit. I should respect their privacy and be happy for them.
     
  14. Dec 13, 2012 #13

    Vanadium 50

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    Galina passed away yesterday.
     
  15. Dec 14, 2012 #14

    Dale

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    Re: 1 Day "Engagement"

    It is "normal" to be hurt by being excluded in something that you consider important.

    Now it is your opportunity to show yourself and them that you are better than just "normal" by letting go of being hurt and just being happy for them.
     
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