Gays in Maine have nothing on my wife and me. Come tomorrow, we'll have been diminishing the sanctity of marriage for 20 years. We'll celebrate tonight though, just in case we get divorced tomorrow. I still remember the day we took out that licence to fight. Just my luck, heterosexual couples were allowed to marry back then. We were married in Taipei city hall and then again at her eldest brother's house. I think that means we need to divorce twice, once won't take. The traditional thing to give for the 20th is China, and she's very traditional. And look how much China has given to me. The modern thing is platinum and emerald. I'll get her that too, she's very modern. I'll take her to a jewelry store and let her pick something out. She likes that and usually picks nothing. I get to look like the good guy and yet don't have to pay. Wish me luck. We'll be going to a steakhouse. Whereever we eat, it's always on the Chinese plan, meaning we each order something different and then share. So I'll order steak, and she'll order steak. But they'll be different kinds of steaks. I'll bring chopsticks just in case Penqwuino shows up.