Well, the weather warmed up so I was out in the back yard this morning scrubbing my Saab Chia. It made the whole yard look bad when everything else was all pretty and white. While I was washing the hood, a small brown and white pigeon looking bird landed about 10 feet away from me. Then it walked off into the bushes. Odd I thought. Then I turned around and saw a big brown eagle land on the neighbors garage about 30 feet away. That's something I've never seen in the 20 years I've lived here. I looked back down to where the bird had landed and noticed that there was a bit of blood on the snow. Oh my god. I'd just witnessed nature in action. I decided to see if the little pigeon was dead or dying, so I followed the little drops of blood until I found him sitting under a bush. All I could see was white feathers and his beady little black eyes. It must be a Christmas Dove! Well, not knowing what to do with the little guy, I decided to run off to the store and buy some dove food for him. I thought he must be hungry after such an ordeal. When I got back from the store with the food he was still sitting in the same spot. I filled up an old green melamine coffee cup with the seed and proceeded to fight my way through the shrubbery to put it in front of him. Of course, he would have nothing to do with me and hobbled away. I set the food down where he'd been roosted and sneaked noisily to the opposite side and shoed him back to the tasty treats. He took his position next to the food and completely ignored it. Well, I thought, maybe he's in shock. I'll just let him rest awhile. I went back to washing the Saab. La di da, la di da, scrub scrub scrub, then splat. A Robin pooped on me from the branch of a Holly tree above. Well, here I am, the bird messiah, having chased away the eagle-doers, turned plastic into bird seed, and you have the audacity to poop on me. I wiped off the crap, turned the hose in his direction, and shot a nice solid blast of cold water up his butt. He flew away. I finished cleaning up the Saab and went back to check on the dove. He seemed to be a bit of a bird brain, as he'd not touched his food. Well starve to death then, I yelled at him. I went away and washed up a few other algae coated artifacts around the yard. But of course I couldn't stop thinking about the poor little fella. What if one of the feral neighbor cats eats him. What if the squirrels sense his weakness and gnaw him to death. So I decided to pull down my snow pea wire trellis and form it into a little aviary for him. I finished it, but it had no top. I decided he would be cat food within hours if I penned him in there. My only solution was to capture him somehow. Fortunately, I have an old fishing net which was just the right size. It worked perfectly. Unfortunately, his little heart must have been going crazy, because he started bleeding profusely. So I hurried him into the house and as gently as possible, dumped him into my bathtub. I looked to make sure he was still alive, turned off the lights, backed out of the bathroom very slowly, and shut the door. I then got his little cup of food and a couple of old white towels so he'd have something to eat and something to sit on. I also filled the end of the tub with water so he could have a drink and wash up a bit, if he were so inclined. Well, that's the story, so far. Anyone want a bird?