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Advice for choosing flat/housemates? and living out in general.

  1. Sep 26, 2011 #1
    Hi all,

    I need some advice on how to choose people to live with (or what to avoid).
    I'm gonna move to London, but I've never lived out before, and I'm scared!
    In paticular: is it a good idea to share a flat with two 19 year old boys? I'm worried about safety... and cleanliness.

    Any advice on house sharing in general too please.

    Thank you!
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 26, 2011 #2

    I like Serena

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    Is it safe to live with two 19 year old boys?
    Probably not! But it might be fun! :wink:

    Assuming you're pretty clean, you'll have to work something out.
    I expect you won't be able to convince them to be as clean as you are.
    So rather than being irritated a lot of the time, I'd suggest the following.
    Either clean yourself and make them pay you, or hire someone to do the cleaning and share the costs.
    Any chance to draw in another girl to make things more balanced?

    Other advice?
    Not really, I'm sure you'll work it out.
    Enjoy!!! :smile:
  4. Sep 26, 2011 #3


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    I'm not sure how the gender affects cleanliness. Boys might be more likely to keep a messy house if they were raised in a family where the women/girls were expected to do the cleaning, but I'm not sure the tendency is so strong that you could make it a general rule.

    My oldest daughter is pretty much a slob when it comes to housekeeping. She survived childhood by conning/scaring/bullying her little sister into keeping their room clean. It's depressing to spend a week visiting her from out of town. She can't find anything and when, eureka!, she does actually find that vital piece of paper, it's lying on the floor moments after she's done with it. Her son made her a mother's day card at school while I was visiting, but she decided to wait until mother's day to actually open it. Come mother's day (only two days later), it was lost - and then she later complained that she didn't even get a mother's day card!

    But at least she's just cluttered and not unhealthily unclean. My youngest son is horrible. We used to brush off complaints from his older brothers and sisters, since things like the bathroom and the bedrooms were always clean. The first time it was just him and I in the house, I suddenly realized what they meant. The only reason their bathroom and bedroom weren't condemned by the health department was because the others were cleaning up after him. I was furious at his habits and concerned about the health of both of us!

    On the other hand, the oldest son is enough of a cleanliness freak that he could rival Felix Unger in the Odd Couple (which is part of the reason we always brushed off his complaints about his younger brother).

    And, the younger daughter that was always bullied into cleaning the bedroom has maintained that habit her whole life and is very neat (as is her husband, who could also rival Felix Unger).

    You just never know.
  5. Sep 26, 2011 #4
    I never thought much when choosing a rent place. When I had to go live far away places, I found my landlords online, called/emailed them, sent some deposit to secure the room, packed my bags and flew to them. I rarely got a room with lock which I always find bit troubling!

    As personal preferences, I prefer to have roomates who have full time job or are college students. It's also good that you make sure that you are not living in bad/poor area.

    Depending on what you roomate or you do, you might never see each other :surprised
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2011
  6. Sep 26, 2011 #5


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    I would trust your "gut feeling" when meeting potential roommates. If a guy (or girl) gives you the creeps, then don't go through with it.

    Several times when I was younger, I moved in with people I didn't know (like renting a room in a house). I never had a problem with it. In fact most of the time it was great. Seems hard to believe, but that's how it worked out for me. Just allow yourself time to adjust.

    For some reason I enjoyed male roommates a lot more than female ones...probably because I grew up with seven brothers :biggrin:.
  7. Sep 26, 2011 #6
    Depends, are you a girl..? Have you met them before?
  8. Sep 26, 2011 #7
    Some of my friends (guys) are disgusting pigs. I do know girls who are dirtier though. The kind which takes them about a week to realise they haven't showered in a while and are still in the same clothes they were several nights before...

    I can get a little obsessive with how things look but that's not all the time. I figured when I get my own place, I'll get the "minimal look" I want. I grew up with a mother who was always cleaning every other corner of the house for cleaning's sake and nothing else.

    In general, I can talk to women with much more ease than I can with men. The guys I do get along with are few and far between...and no, they're usually not the effeminate kind. Maybe it's also the focus of the conversation? With guys my age, it's usually something stupid that I'm not interested in and it stops there. With girls, it's more often than note, another stupid thing but, the dynamics of the conversation are very different - it's usually of a more playful nature and I find it (more) fun.

    Having said that, I'm still not certain why. I can live with this explanation though.

    I thought nucleargirl would have given it away. ;)
  9. Sep 26, 2011 #8


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    I grew up as the elder brother to 2 sisters and have a twin sister as well. No brothers here!

    I'd say the only thing you can do is try to get to know the two before you move in. If they are of "questionable" morals, or do something like get drunk all the time, you might not want to move in.
  10. Sep 27, 2011 #9
    Thanks everyone.
    I'm going to meet them on Friday and see the room.
    What's come to my attention is that I would be renting the room from the guy who is currently renting it, and not through the landlord. So the landlord won't know I'm living there, and the guy who is sub-letting his room told me to pretend to be his sister if the landlord asks... and there will be no contract as I will pay this guy directly.
    Now this all seems a bit dodgy to me. But I need a place ASAP and I like the location. But I don't want to get in trouble with the landlord and be evicted once he finds out...
  11. Sep 27, 2011 #10


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    I think something to worry about is just the usual problems with roommates. People not doing their fair share of the work, paying the rent, eating your food, using your stuff,etc. The little thing with you paying him seems sketchy. Why does he need you to pay him directly?
  12. Sep 27, 2011 #11
    I think he's subletting his room without the landlord's consent (and making money from it). So I'm worried the landlord will see me living there, decide to cancel his tenancy agreement, and as I will have no contract (and so no rights) I will be the one who gets evicted with no notice!

    I'm hoping to convince him to do things the proper way when I see him. Or at least let me meet the landlord so they know I live there.
  13. Sep 27, 2011 #12
    anyway, I've decided to not put all my pies in one bag (hahaha) and have found 2 other places to view on Friday! yay! and as for this one, I'm not taking it if there is no contract! I aint risking it!
  14. Sep 27, 2011 #13
  15. Sep 27, 2011 #14
    since this is my thread, I might as well post all my problems in one go!
    So recently, I have had no appetite whatsoever!! strange! I don't know why. I feel fine otherwise, but I can easily go without lunch or whatever and not feel hungry... not normal! I used to eat a fair normal amount and regular meals.
    And when I do force myself to eat, I feel kinda uncomfortable after, and my stomach feels like its complaining... strange? any ideas what could be causing it?
  16. Sep 27, 2011 #15
    discomfort... uncomfortable!!! pain!!!
  17. Sep 27, 2011 #16

    I like Serena

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    I have that when I'm in love!!!

    Perhaps you have that when you're happy that you feel sure you'll get a place to live... and have things to look forward to... :wink:
  18. Sep 27, 2011 #17
    might just be trapped gas...
    gonna take a walk...
  19. Sep 28, 2011 #18
    Try facebook.

    I found a female roommate on there, and so far it is working out really well (I am a guy). Make sure to talk to them (or other various methods of communication) to make sure you guys are compatible. Having a roommate that you dont like, and you signed a year lease, will make the year terrible. If you are still worried, either go solo or room with a couple girls, though I can say I know a few girls who do not like to room with other girls.
  20. Sep 28, 2011 #19


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    Interesting. Love...or gas.
  21. Sep 28, 2011 #20


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    Tis a questions intimately connected to life that few take the time to think about.
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