Advice Needed: Transferring to a Four Year College

[bengaltiger14]

Advice Wanted...

Ok guys... I know this is not a relationships forum, but as a fellow student transferring to a four year college, I need some advice. I am going to keep this short and straight to the point. Next August, I will be transferring to a four year university. I am at a Community college now taking my Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, English, etc... I have been living with my girlfriend for two years and we have been together for 2.5 years. My problems is, I am trying to decide which college to transfer to. I will decide between Clemson, Georgia Tech, and University of South Carolina. My major is either electrical or mechanical Engineering. Distance is the issue with her. The Univ. of SC is about 20 minutes from us, GT is about 3 hrs, and Clemson is 2.5 hours. I have wanted to attend Clemson since I was a little boy but my high school grades were not up to par. She does not understand why I would consider two other schools when USC is right down the road.

If you guys have some advice to give, please do. This is weighing heavily on my mind.

 

[JasonRox]

Hmmmm... I was with my girlfriend for 2.5 years and I didn't let her stop anything I wanted to do.

If Clemson is truly what you want, I'd go there.

 

[ranger]

Do not let your girlfriend influence which college you go to. If you indeed have aspirations to attend Clemson; go for it!

 

[Norman]

Do not let your girlfriend influence which college you go to. If you indeed have aspirations to attend Clemson; go for it!

This is good advice- the reason being is that if she holds you from your dreams you may one day resent her for it. This resentment will ruin your relationship. 2.5 hours is not that bad. Can she not move with you?

In the end you must decide where your priorities lie. Being close to her may be more important than where to go to school for you. You have to be honest with yourself (and your girlfriend) about your priorities and feelings. Then make the choice that is best for you

 

[InbredDummy]

I don't know how you could turn down Georgia Tech, isn't that one of the really good engineering schools?

 

[bengaltiger14]

Yeah inbreddummy, it's one of the best i believe.

She is not willing to move. I don't really blame her to be honest because she has a very well paying job that she likes. It's going to be a tough decision. It is not that I don't want to be with her, it's just Clemson is somewhere I have always wanted to go and now I got it.

 

[JasonRox]

We know it has nothing to do with you wanting to be with or not.

The bottom line is to do what YOU WANT to do. If she doesn't like it, then so be it. Learn to live with the fact that not everything is going to be perfect for your girlfriend.

 

[oedipa maas]

I have a friend who drives from Iowa to Chicago every weekend to be with his girlfriend.

Is affording two rents an issue?

Could she find a similar sort of job close to Clemson or GT?

 

[SRode]

Going away to college will change any relationship dynamic. I've seen college break people up who have been together for years in the first week, but sometimes you get surprised and long distance relationships work out. I like to think that if its meant to be then it won't matter if you are twenty minutes or twenty hours. Go to the best school you can that will satisfy you, let the cards fall like they will, and the relationship will follow suit.

 

[bengaltiger14]

No...She will not move with me because her job now is just too good to leave. She just does not understand that the degree is not just a piece of paper. Her mentality is "Why move away when you can go right down the road. Its just a piece of paper. " Another issue is that she is alreay been through college, bought a house, and is ready to settle. She is 29 and I am 21 and we have been living together for 2 years. She is the one who convinced me to go for a bachelors instead of just my associates. I know I need to make a decision quick if I want to apply for early admissions.

 

[mr_coffee]

I'm 9 hours away from my girlfriend and we still keep it together. I see her for 3-4 days every 2 months.

If she can't handle it then drop her like its hot. ha, I always wanted to say that.

I like the distance though, I get a lot more done and when we see each other it feels like we just met again which is exciting.

If I saw the same person every day, I would get bored but that is just my personality and everyone is different. Some people are like dogs who need attention some people are like cats who like to be alone.

 

[Poop-Loops]

The school you go to will influence the rest of your life. If she can't handle you either moving closer to the school (dorm or what have you) or whatever, so that you can have a better career, then that really says something.

 

[DefaultName]

GT, hands down. If she's doing well at her job where you are, she may have better chances of finding a better job in ATL.

 

[bengaltiger14]

I am like you Mr. Coffee. At least I think. But I have never been on my on... As I moved straight from my parents house in with my girlfriend.

Is it ok to keep this thread going since it is a little off topic?

 

[mr_coffee]

If you haven't ever been on your own you need to see what its like, its quite fun.

I think it would make the relationship stronger, so when you guys see each other again you'll realize, how much you 2 missed each other rather than getting bored with each other.

Is it ok to keep this thread going since it is a little off topic?

This isn't off topic compared to some of the threads on this thing.

If she really wants to be with you, she will understand that this is what's best for you, going to the college of your choice, not going to the college that is better for her.

I had a g/f that kinda sounded like yours, I was with her for 3 years and she kept bringing up the fact that I went to a school 3 hours from her, and how she needs more support.

I thought about how this would affect me later in life, like when I get a nice job and have to move farther, she would be the one would say, its either me or the job, you can't have both. So i shafted her and I'm much happier now. I saw her a few weeks ago and she's prego! I'm glad that wasn't me.

 

[bengaltiger14]

You are correct Mr. Coffee. If she is saying "go to this college or else" now, it is bound to get worse in time about other scenarios.

 

[Dissonance in E]

Only 2 hours distance? that doesn't seem so bad. I'm moving to an entirely different country for my higher education and have to leave my 3yr gf behind.

 

[J77]

Club her over the head, sling her over your shoulder, and take her with you...

More seriously, if you're really into her -- which living together for two years implies -- I'd first ask her if she'd consider moving out there with you. Secondly, consider if a long-distance relationship will last if you begin living apart again. (I'd consider her feelings a bit more than some of the posts above advise.)

On the latter point -- I moved away to work in another country but commuted back to see my gf almost 3 weeks out of 4 -- at the time we'd been going out about 3 years, it did work out but I was broke I'm not sure I'd have moved for the job had we been living together at the time. Anyway, I moved back after my year away, we lived there for a couple of years and then moved out to a new country together...

 

[kev1829]

It seems to me that you want two things: Clemson and a girlfriend.

Clemson can offer a girlfriend, but your current girlfriend can't offer Clemson

 

[leon1127]

She is not your wife yet.