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Anguished English

  • Thread starter Mentat
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I highly recommend this book, and it's sequel (More Anguished English), to anyone who likes a good laugh.

The writer has taken a bunch of bloopers from children's and adults' school papers, or other such papers and put them together in an ingenius way. For example, there is a section about History, which takes the bloopers from many History papers (by eighth grade-college level students!) and makes them into an utterly different set of events. Here is an excerpt from that "History" section:

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - corinthian, ironic, and dorc - and built the Apocalypse. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth...

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the buscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath...

Julius Ceaser Extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out the word "Tee-hee, Brutus"...

Then came the Middle ages, when everyone was middle-aged. King Alfred conquered the Dames. King Arthur lived in the age of Shivery with brave knights on prancing horses and beautiful women. King Harold mustarded before the Battle of Hastings. And victims of the blue-bonnet plague grew boobs on their necks. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense...
There is much, much, more in this book, and I think pretty much everyone with a sense of humor will enjoy it.
 

kleinjahr

If you liked Anguished English you'd probably like the Joy of Lex. It includes everything from simple wordplay to cunning conundrums, from Malaprope to Yogi Berra.
 
3,754
2
Originally posted by kleinjahr
If you liked Anguished English you'd probably like the Joy of Lex. It includes everything from simple wordplay to cunning conundrums, from Malaprope to Yogi Berra.
Thanks, I'll look for that one.
 

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