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Annoying social stuff

  1. May 21, 2004 #1
    Hello all.

    I am completely hopeless at social stuff. I don't like pubs and nighclubs. I don't like places with painfully loud music, smoke, and vomit-stink. I don't like the habitually drunk idiots in such places. That's the common social interaction here, people meeting people in such places. So I don't get into it at all. Even in other situations, I am notoriously crappy at talking to people. So, because of that and probably many other things, I don't get many dates. Any, in fact.

    Then, out of the blue, I was asked out by a model. And she actually seems a nice enough person, although a tad more forward than I am used to. So, there I am, sitting around eagerly anticipating the first date... And I get a rather horrific facial injury that makes me look like a failed exercise in a horror mask manufacturing class.

    Great luck, huh?
  2. jcsd
  3. May 21, 2004 #2
    :biggrin: Let me be the first one to congratulate you on your good fortune, in respect of the date that is. Lucky you :biggrin: .

    Don't worry about the cut on your face Adam, it's topical.

    In relation to your alleged lack of social skills, well Adam, this is your first date and you know it is important, it can lead to a second date, or no second date. So, if there is one thing you need to remember, remember this: DO NOT GO ABOUT IT AS IF IT IS A JOB INTERVIEW AND START REPORTING YOUR BACKGROUND, EDUCATION AND ABILITIES AS IF SHE IS A PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER! Although the intention is laudable.

    The way to go about it I think is very simple, ask interesting questions and encourage her to talk. Believe me women feel incredibly supported, understood and energised after talking about themselves and we give men a lot of brownie points just for listening.

    Congratulations again :wink: .
  4. May 21, 2004 #3
    Hey Adam!!
    I'd say well done on getting a date with a model.. not many guyz can say they managed that. As to social skils, stuff that, skills are over rated.l I'm socialy inept.Some guyz end up hating me coz i'm too straight forward and I tell them exactly wot i think of them. But i dont let that hold me back, this is oprah talk, but someone is bound to like u for you being hopeless at social stuff.!! You sound like a pretty intelligent guy :approve: and nothing beats intelligence and a good sense of humor in my books. Wait... do u have a good sense of humor>??
  5. May 21, 2004 #4
    The first date is always the man's Superbowl. Open doors for her, show manners and class. Be a gentleman. It's important that you keep it light, funny and positive. No negatives, no put-downs. Don't put yourself down in front of her by calling attention to your facial injury. It's a negative no need to bring it up. Don't talk about heavy subjects such as the war in Iraq and the detainees, never get into a debate with her as you don't want to tell her what you really think and end up lowering her interest for you. Keep it light, funny and positive.

    Ask her questions about herself, encourage her to talk about herself, let her plea her guts out and it's important that when you're talking to her that you look her in the eye. During the date, don't check out other women as this insults her. If she asks you personal questions about you then make your answer, brief and funny. Then ask her some more questions. You may not have had a date ever since Lincoln became president but you don't want her to know that. Keep it light, funny and positive.
    Last edited: May 21, 2004
  6. May 21, 2004 #5
    poor 'iccle boy!

    BUT...you got an injury so you'll need some TLC. hmm...cuddling....you can imagine the rest... :blush:

    Good luck on your date man! The-Proffesional gave some brilliant tips there. Just don't worry about not being able to talk about anything and you'll see the words flow. Also, she asked you out didn't she - she obviously digs you so if she sees that you're a bit uncomfortable, I'm sure she'll help you along. Good luck again and don't worry about the scar on your face. After all, even with it, I'm sure you still look better than those really ugly rockers who get super hot girls!!
  7. May 21, 2004 #6
    No, it's not a scar, it's a great gaping wound. There are also a few scars, but I don't give a crap about those.
  8. May 21, 2004 #7

    jimmy p

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    What did you do, get in a fight with a blender?
  9. May 21, 2004 #8
    Ah, no, some people did a tap-dance on my face many years ago. One of the injuries has basically become a problem again.

    Another is from a horse-riding accident years ago.
  10. May 21, 2004 #9


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    "I was asked out by a model."

    My money is on her being a Mossad spy.
  11. May 21, 2004 #10
    Go ahead and call her and tell her. Ask her for a rain check on the official date. Tell her that in the meantime you wouldn't be adverse to something low key like coffee in a casual setting. As a model, she ought to understand perfectly. Once you have her on the phone let it turn into a conversation if it seems she's not in a hurry to get somewhere. Get to know her some more and let her get to know you. The more contact you make like that, the better your chances of getting over this glitch in timing with the injury thing.
  12. May 21, 2004 #11
    You lucky dog. I think you need to tutor me.
  13. May 21, 2004 #12
    You can get better at it with some practice.
    I agree 100%
    I never liked waking up the next morning to realize I was the drunken idiot!
    It has a rather sickening, phony quality about it. Sort of like a bunch of pretenders standing around trying to look kewl and happy when they’d rather be doing something else. Maybe I’m just peculiar, dunno.
    It aint no thinkin’ thang (or however that country tune goes).
    Things can change for the better, and I’d be willing to bet two coconuts and a plantain that they do.
    Ok, this is the part I’m very interested in; where is this blue place located ?
    If you’ve never had a date then her forward behavior might be exactly what the doctor ordered. See, looks like things are working out even with minimal effort (I have a strong feeling I’m gonna be hanging onto my plantain and coconuts!).
    Yip, that’s a tough break, no joking. I think Zoobyshoe gave you some good advice worth consideration. Good luck.
  14. May 22, 2004 #13
    Without disagreeing with Zoobyshoe and BoulderHead, a rain cheque has to be weighed against the sense of rejection the date might feel, which may be a tad stronger as it was her who asked him out in the first place.

    If possible, give her a call to confirm the date and play it by ear.
  15. May 22, 2004 #14
    You hit the nail on the head. Since the woman took the risk of rejection to ask you out and women don't usually do that if they have low interest in a guy, then just do it.
  16. May 22, 2004 #15
    I liked Zooby's idea because it involves pinching an additional meeting if she agrees to meet casually. Also, by skillful wording it should be possible not only to expresses a confirmation of interest in her but put the ball in her court while tipping her off that half your face is missing. If she opts to continue with the date as planned, great. If she understands that you’re only embarrassed, not disinterested, then I don’t believe any bridges have been burned. I wouldn't want to scare the poor girl half to death by surprising her with a wound horrific, but I would aim for a quick meeting over coffee in order to get everything in the open.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 22, 2004
  17. Jun 16, 2004 #16
    Well, the Friday before last I spent eight hours in painful surgery, for AU$8,000, and got reasonably fixed up. Having put off my date until after being fixed, I was then all set to go out and have some fun. And she stood me up. And this is about the best luck I've had in this area in months. Woohoo! Yay for me, king of social stuff!
  18. Jun 16, 2004 #17
    I'm sorry for that, Adam
    I remember when I dated a girl through Internet, and then she didn't came to the date...
  19. Jun 16, 2004 #18
    I know the feeling. I didn't get stood up exactly, but it was some what related to it.
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