This year I'm feeling a little bit down. I noticed that my friends in business and life science(who left physics) are out having fun. They have time for part time work and parties. Meanwhile I'm sitting at home desperately trying to keep up with all the math and physics I'm taking. For what I ask myself, as my future with this "impractical art" is dim. They will also have better lives when older, whereas I will be working hard hunting for work. If I learned anything from math, it is logical structured thinking. And what logic is there to following a dream (an irrational decision by all accounts)? To spend another 6 years of hell getting a PhD and making less than my engineer counterparts who are still in their early 20s? In fact, why would anyone choose this course of action. Yet, this very action is dictated by emotional impulse, which is usually present in those who lack intelligence. So are these the people our science attracts? It would certainly explain the low compensation. This change of perspective hit me like a wall just a few days ago. Studying math and physics has become a chore, mainly because each time I open up the book my brain wanders and tells me "WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT". It is still early in the year, so I can change courses if I want to. Wouldn't anybody? Yet, we all still continue to torture ourselves. Maybe I've hit my limit point, and an IQ of 115 slows me down too much (math takes forever). Or maybe I got too smart to follow this hopeless trial any longer. The stories teary-eyed undergrads tell me about so-and-so physicsts finding great work aren't that convincing now either. Oh... what do I do.