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Are there any chances to become good ?

  1. Apr 21, 2006 #1
    Are there any chances to become "good"?

    Up until this time, I wanted to become a major physicist and researcher and work at CERN, but after reading biographies of universities' physicst and mathematics doctors plus people working at CERN, I doubt I can even get to a 4 year college. In matter of fact I feel like even good 2 year college is too good to get in for me. Most of them knew more at age 5 then I know now at age 16. Almost they all at my age were winning major science and math competitions while I can't even win a simple school competition. Well, I try but this doesn't do any good. When teachers announce a competition, I have 10s of ideas, and then closer the final date, I say to myself, well, why should I compete with anyone? I don't want to show anything, and my place can be taken by people who want to show that they're better than others. And finally, I write a paper or present, or do research on something that doesn't take me more than an hour. I have no idea what's going on with me :cry: Sometimes I even feel that I have no chances in life altogether, and it'd do better to go to the weight room and practice, since carrying bricks and labor work, that's all I'll be able to get.

    So, do I have any chances to become what I want to become? Or it all has been thought too late? :shy:

  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 21, 2006 #2
    No, you have the attitude of a loser. You wont go anywhere in life with your attitude.
  4. Apr 21, 2006 #3
    However harsh the above statement was, its true. If you think that you wont go anywhere, you wont. Simple as that. Perception is reality.
  5. Apr 21, 2006 #4
    Clearly you have a problem with the notion of competition. Rather than carry bricks, though, I think you should look into some completely different kind of carrear that involves emotionally supporting people in need.
  6. Apr 21, 2006 #5


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    I agree.... insane enough as it is....

    The best people in any field are the ones who study study study and literally devote their lives to the field.
  7. Apr 21, 2006 #6


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    I say you're not self confident enough andd you're really afraid of failure! That's why you don't want to compete with anyone. (it makes you happier to think 'I'd win if I tried' than to see 'I tried but I didn't win'. I might be wrong but that's what I can think of. what can you do? Simple, do your best in competitions because there's a good reason for that.(knowing your abilities, strength and weaknesses)
  8. Apr 21, 2006 #7
    It's what I've been suspecting. I have an attitude toward almost everything, I tried to change, but I simply can't, it comes back after a short while. Another thing I do wrong is that I think I know everything, but I know I don't know anything. It prevents me from learning, since I think I know, why should I learn it? I pretend like I know everything everywhere around me, but I also don't want to do this. First of all, I know nothing, second of all, even if I would know something, I would rather want people to think that I know nothing. I just can't change my life, I feel like it's too late to change but I want to change and become simple again. Lastly I realized that I can't even talk about life, joke, with my friends. It's like all I can talk is science and ideas, and I know nothing about science, and my ideas seem to be also empty. Is there anyway I can change? If you'd like to help me, how would you do this?

    Thanks, and I appreciate from all all the writings.
  9. Apr 21, 2006 #8


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    One thing, it's not all abour attitude. Most scientists got into it because they liked it; it fascinated them. So they took more and more courses and worked liked like dogs not just for GPA but because they wanted to know, and to know more you have to work more.

    Get into some field where you enjoy what you are doing.
  10. Apr 21, 2006 #9

    Whenever in any situation you feel you don't know what to do....try to see the best person in your surroundings and try to act the way he acts or will act..Make nice friends who are capable,.....and try to see the way they see and sooner or later you will develop an attitude..
  11. Apr 21, 2006 #10
    ur in what? gr. 11? You still got loads of time to do whatever you want. To me it seems like ur lacking some self confidence. probably because of a not so spectacular social life. I would say just continue doing what ur doing for school work. I'm sure you're pulling down some decent marks. Get out there, hang out with people, go to some house parties, build up ur confidence. Highschool isn't the final step in ur education, you'll have lots of time to learn in college, and you'll learn much faster and more effectively with good professors.
    Right now, I would put your friends, and learning how to socialize better as your first priority. Don't let your grades slip, but you don't have to become a hermit and study constantly to get into the school you want.
    Go have some fun
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2006
  12. Apr 21, 2006 #11
    I think this post says it all.

    Nothing more to add.

  13. Apr 21, 2006 #12

    i wish i had stuff like this when i was 16 \/ \/

    -- a certain book I'm reading, p.7 :wink:

    -- same book, p.111 :wink:
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2006
  14. Apr 21, 2006 #13
    It's indeed a nice book. But, does it mean that I should try to reach my goal above any other thing? To don't stop looking and thinking about failures but run ahead without stopping? And if so, wouldn't this huge self-confidence lead me to a case when I actually stop caring about others but myself? And what If I try but my desire of reaching the goal will create suffering, the last thing I'd like to see in one's face? For example, I win a competition but there are other fellows who also heavily wanted to win, and if they don't, they'll suffer. It doesn't do any good.

    Thank you all for some kind of help, and I'm still looking for any writings of any kind. Thanks,
  15. Apr 21, 2006 #14


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    Now you WANT to fail??? You are absolutely commited to failing. First you think its hopeless to succeed and now you say you hope you'll always fail just so someone else gets to win???

    The people at CERN probably aren't the type to bow down academically to other people so others could get their jobs.
  16. Apr 21, 2006 #15
    if you have always wanted to be a scientist, and for any reason you don't become one, you will regret it for the rest of your life. i talked to an engineer who was in his 40s or early 50s who did ok as an engineer, made lots of $$$ etc but he told me that he still wished that he got into veterinary school. he didn't get accepted, so he gave up on that & became an engineer instead, and ~20-30yrs later he still regretted not becoming a vet. would you rather give up because some people will be upset, & deal with it like he did or follow your dream of becoming a physicist? If you give up, so that others will become physicists when you could have, & then they go work at CERN etc that will be like a double whammy for you. I say just do it; if other people will have nothing to live for unless they do the same thing, they'll find a way to do it also.
  17. Apr 21, 2006 #16
    So what if they wanted to win? Who cares? They can always try to win another competition. That's not your problem. You still have the wrong attitude...dude, im sorry. That's just pathetic.
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2006
  18. Apr 21, 2006 #17


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    I think your problem is in your approach. Rather than "i really want to be good a this..." you should be saying "i really want to do this". If you really want to do something then inevitably you will become good at it. The problem might be that, for the most part, you're just interested in being really good with physics because of the popularity & credibility that it would bring you, rather than physics itself.
  19. Apr 21, 2006 #18
    but he did say that; he said he wants to be a cern physicist.

    i don't think he said anything about being famous/popular/etc. as with anything else, if someone's life depends on becoming a cern physicist they'll find a way. becoming a very good physicist would be a very small price to pay.
  20. Apr 21, 2006 #19
    I've had a similar guilty thought about competing with people once.
    I was in this music festival with this girl who was planning on going into music for university. I myself am in engineering, and having a win at this festival didn't mean nearly as much to me as it did to her. She was a good player, but I was several years more experience and better prepared.
    I was seriously considering throwing the competition and letting her win, but, I decided that it really wouldn't help anyone in the end. I'm still not certain to this day whether I made the right decision or not. You on the other hand shouldn't feel bad about competing with people. You are just as worthy of winning a competition as anyone else, and winning clearly will be good for your future career as it is relating to your field of study. I wouldn't feel any guilt if I were you.
  21. Apr 21, 2006 #20
    I know very little about how one actually becomes a physicist, aside from studying math and physics, but I would definitely say that your attitude is the problem. In fact, you're having the exact same problem I'm currently working myself out of.

    My new philosophy is to do what I think I ought to do, not what I think others think I ought to do. Coupled with daily exercise, this philosophy results in me having a HUGE self-confidence boost, more happiness, and elevated productivity.

    One important factor to an attitude change is willpower. You need to exercise yours. I adopted a vegan diet cold-turkey, giving me a base to build off of. A vegan diet is an abstinence (temperance) type of force on one's actions, meaning that I DO NOT do something, instead of doing something, such as weight training, studying, etc. I find that I can't convince myself to do things more than half-assedly unless I approach it from an abstinence perspective. My most recent development is abstaining from indolence (laziness- my English class vocab), allowing me to study and complete homework. I've never tried to help someone build their willpower up before, so I have only myself as a test subject on the usefulness of abstinence in willpower building. Also, fasting is a fairly popular form of abstinence, so you might try that one day of every one or two weeks, or something.

    Another thing: the unhappiness you see in the faces of those who fail doesn't really matter. It will pass. If they can't handle failure, then they need to rework their perspectives on their lives. So long as you empathize with their feelings of failure (well, don't lord it over them too much, if at all), no one with a decent amount of self respect will hate you for it (so long as you play fair, of course). Besides, those who have success tend to have failed quite a bit beforehand, so they understand both sides (easily related to arrogance in prodigies, if you think about it). Those that fail, if they're dedicated, will try again either more refined or with a different approach (if only modifying a few aspects).

    Meditation is a good idea if you're having trouble with emotions or clouded thought. There's a lot of advice online as to how to meditate, but basically you just need to get comfortable and clear you mind. Once you can do that successfully, you can start thinking about things (but don't get too muddled up in thought early on, lest you lose the meditative advantage).

    In finality, I recommend that you learn to work harder. You have a lofty goal, so you must pursue it whole-heartedly, lest you fall short. This doesn't mean ignoring the rest of life, however. The best way to be effective at anything is to have a varied lifestyle. Exercise, socialization, cultural enhancement, etc. Also, when you achieve success (which you will if you're intelligent and dedicated, since, if you're in the US, the caste system is weak), don't be mean to other people. If they're not as good as you, it might just be because they don't know how to be.

    (Also, if you're intelligent, you don't need to be a brick-hauler: you can be the brick-hauler manager :tongue: .)

    edit: added the last bit on competitions
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2006
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