- #1

benorin

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Hint: algebra I students may not get the joke, but to them the proof comes easy.

Okay, so let them flow... post 'em if you got 'em [jokes, that is] .

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- Thread starter benorin
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- #1

benorin

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Hint: algebra I students may not get the joke, but to them the proof comes easy.

Okay, so let them flow... post 'em if you got 'em [jokes, that is] .

- #2

dx

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I don't get the joke.. I am a calculus student.

- #3

amcavoy

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You divide the sin(x) by n to get six = 6. Wow, that is a new low for math jokes lol.

- #4

jtbell

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A: Because 31 OCT(al) = 25 DEC(imal).

- #5

shmoe

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One of my favorites, find:

[tex]\int\frac{1}{cabin}d(cabin)[/tex]

This next one isn't a joke so much as it is a cute poem. What does it say?

[tex]\frac{12+144+20+3\sqrt{4}}{7}+5\times 11=9^2+0[/tex]

[tex]\int\frac{1}{cabin}d(cabin)[/tex]

This next one isn't a joke so much as it is a cute poem. What does it say?

[tex]\frac{12+144+20+3\sqrt{4}}{7}+5\times 11=9^2+0[/tex]

Last edited:

- #6

jtbell

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shmoe said:One of my favorites, find:

[tex]\int\frac{1}{cabin}d(cabin)[/tex]

Houseboat! :rofl:

- #7

amcavoy

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Help me out here shmoe.shmoe said:One of my favorites, find:

[tex]\int\frac{1}{cabin}d(cabin)[/tex]

This next one isn't a joke so much as it is a cute poem. What does it say?

[tex]\frac{12+144+20+3\sqrt{4}}{7}+5\times 11=9^2+0[/tex]

[tex]\int\frac{d\left(\text{cabin}\right)}{\text{cabin}}=\ln{\left(\text{cabin}\right)}[/tex]

- #8

shmoe

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- #9

amcavoy

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Nice, I like that one.shmoe said:

- #10

shmoe

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A dozen, a gross, and a score,

Plues three times the square root of four,

Divided by seven,

Plues five times eleven,

Is nine squared, and not a bit more

- #11

amcavoy

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Keep 'em coming :rofl:shmoe said:

A dozen, a gross, and a score,

Plues three times the square root of four,

Divided by seven,

Plues five times eleven,

Is nine squared, and not a bit more

- #12

pi-r8

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Q: How do you tell that a sailor used to be a mathematician?

A: Instead of saying "aye aye, captain!", he says "negative one, captain!"

- #13

bomba923

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Professor to aspiring female math student:

*"

Female math student-->says: ":yuck:!"

(:rofl: High school humor )

- #14

fourier jr

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here's my favourite math joke:

[tex]\lim_{8\rightarrow9} \sqrt{8} = 3[/tex]

- #15

kreil

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A: A mathematician and a computer scientist work side by side in the basement of a building. Every day, they go up to the second floor at 10am for coffee. One day at 10am, they are both on the first floor and leave to get their coffee. The computer scientist hops in the elevator and goes to the second floor for his coffee. The mathematician, however, gets in the elevator, goes to the basement to reduce the problem to a problem with a known solution, and then goes to the second floor for his coffee.

josh

- #16

kreil

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[tex](\frac{1}{m^{-1}})(e^1)(r^2)(\sqrt{y^2})(\frac{d}{dx}\frac{x^2}{2})(\frac{force}{acceleration})[/tex]

- #17

shmoe

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fourier jr said:ummmm not sure how that integral makes a houseboat. i get the log cabin part though.

A log cabin + sea (C) = a houseboat

It is indeed a terrible joke.

This is supposedly elementary school humour but I only heard it recently (I'm not in elementary school anymore, but my sense of humour is):

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

A: Because seven ate nine.

- #18

amcavoy

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Merry Christmas!kreil said:

[tex](\frac{1}{m^{-1}})(e^1)(r^2)(\sqrt{y^2})(\frac{d}{dx}\frac{x^2}{2})(\frac{force}{acceleration})[/tex]

- #19

quasar987

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Wow, nice apmcavoy!

- #20

benorin

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Now when Heisenberg noticed that, he was really scared. --Paul Dirac, Quoted in D MacHale, Comic Sections (Dublin 1993)

...it would be better for the true physics if there were no mathematicians on earth. -- Daniel Bernoulli, Quoted in The Mathematical Intelligencer 13 (1991).

[Upon losing the use of his right eye:] Now I will have less distraction. --Leonhard Euler, Quoted in H Eves In Mathematical Circles (Boston 1969).

I recall once saying that when I had given the same lecture several times I couldn't help feeling that they really ought to know it by now. --John E Littlewood, A Mathematician's Miscellany, 1953.

- #21

tmc

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let epsilon be < 0...

- #22

Hurkyl

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What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?

Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski

Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski

- #23

quasar987

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benorin said:I recall once saying that when I had given the same lecture several times I couldn't help feeling that they really ought to know it by now. --John E Littlewood, A Mathematician's Miscellany, 1953.

That is my fav, provided "they" means "his students".

I've seen Dirac's quote on several occasions but I don't understand what's funny with it. :grumpy:

Here's one that's pretty funnny nowdays:

"To divide a cube into two other cubes, a fourth power or in general any power whatever into two powers of the same denomination above the second is impossible, and I have assuredly found an admirable proof of this, but the margin is too narrow to contain it. -- Fermat, in the margin of his copy of Diophantus' Arithmetica"

Another:

"Napier's logarithms, by shortening the labours, doubled the life of the astronomer." --Laplace

and another...

"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite." --Dirac

- #24

benorin

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Come, let us hasten to a higher plane

Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,

Their indices bedecked from one to n

Commingled in an endless Markov chain!

Come, every frustrum longs to be a cone

And every vector dreams of matrices.

Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze:

It whispers of a more ergodic zone.

In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space

Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways.

Our asymptotes no longer out of phase,

We shall encounter, counting, face to face.

I'll grant thee random access to my heart,

Thou'lt tell me all the constants of thy love;

And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove,

And in our bound partition never part.

For what did Cauchy know, or Christoffel,

Or Fourier, or any Bools or Euler,

Wielding their compasses, their pens and rulers,

Of thy supernal sinusoidal spell?

Cancel me not - for what then shall remain?

Abscissas some mantissas, modules, modes,

A root or two, a torus and a node:

The inverse of my verse, a null domain.

Ellipse of bliss, converge, O lips divine!

the product o four scalars is defines!

Cyberiad draws nigh, and the skew mind

Cuts capers like a happy haversine.

I see the eigenvalue in thine eye,

I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh.

Bernoulli would have been content to die,

Had he but known such a^2 cos 2 phi!

--from "The Cyberiad" by Stanislaw Lem

- #25

devious_

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Complex variables are always fun until someone loses an [itex]i[/itex].

- #26

Hurkyl

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What do you get when you cross a tse-tse fly and a mountan climber?

Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scalar!

- #27

Hurkyl

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[tex]

\int_1^{\sqrt[3]{3}} z^2 \, dz \cdot \cos \frac{3 \pi}{9} = \ln \sqrt[3]{e}

[/tex]

- #28

devious_

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Wow... :rofl:Hurkyl said:

[tex]

\int_1^{\sqrt[3]{3}} z^2 \, dz \cdot \cos \frac{3 \pi}{9} = \ln \sqrt[3]{e}

[/tex]

- #29

AKG

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I don't get it.Hurkyl said:

[tex]

\int_1^{\sqrt[3]{3}} z^2 \, dz \cdot \cos \frac{3 \pi}{9} = \ln \sqrt[3]{e}

[/tex]

- #30

fourier jr

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ya me neither. & that cabin joke is actually pretty bad now that i get it.

- #31

- #32

devious_

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I think it says:AKG said:I don't get it.

The integral from 1 to the cube root of three

Of zee squared dee zee

Times the cosine of 3pi by nine

Equals the log of the cube root of e

- #33

spongebob_79

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"Did you hear about the constipated mathmatician?"

"He had to work it out with a pencil!"

Or along similar lines...

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant?"

"He couldn't budget, so he had to use a pencil!"

tee hee:rofl:

- #34

Hurkyl

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That works -- when I originally heard it, it was pronounced:The integral from 1 to the cube root of three

Of zee squared dee zee

Times the cosine of 3pi by nine

Equals the log of the cube root of e

The integral of the square of 'z',

From one to the cube root of three,

Multiplied by cosine,

Of three pi over nine,

Is the log of the cube root of 'e'.

I think it's a little more poetic this way, but yours is good too! Actually, I fiddled with it a bit to see if I could get it a bit more rhythmic (since it seems a bit clumsy to me), but without success.

- #35

mathwonk

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these are sad.

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