Can You Solve This Hilarious Limit Problem Involving Sine and Infinity?

[mongoose]

someone probably already posted this, but:

Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic math. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question; all she has to do is answer, "One third x cubed." She agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself. The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks, "What is the integral of x squared?" The waitress says, "One third x cubed." Then, while walking away, she turns back and says, "Plus a constant!"

from wikipedia...funyy stuff

 

[mongoose]

Wow, nice apmcavoy!

hey man...that's a killer quote

hahaha

 

[strings235]

Warning: The may contain suggestive info, just a bit though XD

A slutty girl walks up to a mathematician and says (suggestively) "Do you know what 69 is?" He says "Well duh, any idiot would its product 3 and 13"
The girl reacts, "..." and he says, "Oh I'm sorry, how strange of me--I forgot to mention they're primes with spacing of 10...haha." You figure what goes on from there. ahaha...not that funny, but i was getting at the "bad" in the bad jokes.

 

[mongoose]

Warning: The may contain suggestive info, just a bit though XD

A slutty girl walks up to a mathematician and says (suggestively) "Do you know what 69 is?" He says "Well duh, any idiot would its product 3 and 13"
The girl reacts, "..." and he says, "Oh I'm sorry, how strange of me--I forgot to mention they're primes with spacing of 10...haha." You figure what goes on from there.


ahaha...not that funny, but i was getting at the "bad" in the bad jokes.

i don't get it

!

 

[ZioX]

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/FrivolousTheoremofArithmetic.html

 

[ZioX]

2+2=5 for very large 2's.

 

[sam1]

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are at a conference, and are asked to determine the volume of a red ball.

The mathematician carefully measures the ball's diamater and calculates the volume from there.

The physicist fulls a beaker with water, and submerges the ball and records the difference in water level.

The engineer records the ball model type and serial number and looks it up in his red ball handbook.

 

[itsjustme]

Mathematical proof that women are evil

First we know that women are the product of time and money

Women = Time * Money

Then we know that time is money

Women = Money * Money

And that money is the root of all evil

Women = Sqrt(Evil) * Sqrt(Evil)

Women = Evil

 

[CompuChip]

2+2=5 for very large 2's.

As in, for any $\epsilon > 0$ there exists $\delta > 0$ such that for $\left| 2 - \frac12 \right| < \delta$,
$$2 + 2 = 5$$

I like the ball gag

 

[CoCoA]

"Did you hear about the constipated mathmatician?"

"He had to work it out with a pencil!"
tee hee:rofl:

That's supposed to be - he worked it out with a slide rule.

That joke just doesn't have the same effect since slide rules are gone. You need the word "slide" in there.

 

[olliemath]

An engineer a physicist and a mathematician are being tested on their approaches to problem solving by some psychologists. Each is left alone in a room with cans of food and no tin opener..

Several days later the psychologists return. The engineer has managed to open some of the cans by bashing them with a rock, he sits eating hapily. The physicist has obtained large amounts of funding and set up a complex system of high powered tin-opening lasers, but has now become too distracted to eat any of the food. When the psychologists visit the mathematician (geometer/topologist) there are pages and pages of calculations and diagrams, but he has disapeared and there are banging noises and groans coming from inside one of the tins. Concerned they prise it open and the mathematician pops out - "Sorry about that, I got a sign wrong!" he exclaims.

 

[Runner43]

His chances have not changed as no new information (that would change the statics) was really added by the guards revelation.

One thing I do find weird about this problem is how two people whom have never meet can both be found guilty of the same murder. That's some pretty whacky justice system.

No.
The chance of survival of the statistician is 0/3.

The fact that the guard points out to one of the OTHER two prisoners means that only one of them guilty. This implies that the statistician is the other to die. Poor guy...

c'mon...let's think outside of 'physics and mathematics', look at it from a psychological perspective ;)
-Liberal arts student

 

[M Grandin]

What's the square root of 69?

8-something.

I also didn't get that joke - but thought it perhaps was meant "square root of 79" instead.

The answer "8-something" then had been fun in an other sense (if you calculate that root...)

 

[Reshma]

I also didn't get that joke - but thought it perhaps was meant "square root of 79" instead.

The answer "8-something" then had been fun in an other sense (if you calculate that root...)

That's funny! :rofl:

 

[Mensanator]

I didn't read through all 11 pages so I hope no one said these.

There are 3 types of mathematicians in the world...those who can count, and those who can't.


My quantum mechanics professor a few years ago said this one.

Q:Why doesn't Heisenberg live in the suburbs?

A: Because he doesn't like to commute.

One day Heisenberg got pulled over for speeding.

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?

Heisenberg: No, but I know where I am.

 

[tauon]

3 friends: a chemist, an engineer and a mathematician are at the seaside in the mathematician's mountain log cabin. after much drinking and partying the mathematician decides to go to bed upstairs in his room. 2 minutes later, disturbed by the smell of fire the chemist and engineer hurriedly go upstairs as well and notice a fire in the hallway. the chemist immediately starts thinking of how to make a concoction that can extinguish the fire while the engineer after looking around notices a bucket of water and uses it to kill the fire. in the morning they ask the mathematician why he didn't do anything about the fire, to which he replied:

"I noticed fire, and a bucket of water nearby: a solution obviously existed."

 

[Borek]

As my math professor used to say back in eighties, you can always draw a straight line through three points. It just have to be sufficiently thick.

 

[Borek]

Why does

$$\frac {16} {64} = \frac 1 4$$

?

Spoiler

Because six cancels out.

 

[Hurkyl]

You've obviously never seen

$$\frac{\sin x}{n} = 6$$​

 

[LebLlama]

A mathematician, a physicist, and a llama microbiologist are in a room together with a hot girl. The scientists all say that they'll be the one who gets the girl.

The mathematician walks up to her and does a complex math problem to impress her.

The physicist smirks and says he can top that. He walks to her, sets up a conductor AND does a complex math problem to impress her.

The microbiologist walks up to her, smacks her *** and says "Lets go dancing baby girl" and the girl leaves with the microbiologist.

 

[Mensanator]

Not exactly a Math joke, but still good.

A physicist, chemist, electrcian and Bill Gates were riding along in a car when it suddenly stopped.

The phystcist says: "Engine must have thrown a rod."

The chemist says: "We would have felt that. Probably not getting gas."

The electrician says: "But we would have noticed it sputtering to a halt. The electrical systen probably failed."

Bill Gates says: "Why don't we get out of the car and get back in again."

 

[HallsofIvy]

Not exactly a Math joke, but still good.

A physicist, chemist, electrcian and Bill Gates were riding along in a car when it suddenly stopped.

The phystcist says: "Engine must have thrown a rod."

The chemist says: "We would have felt that. Probably not getting gas."

The electrician says: "But we would have noticed it sputtering to a halt. The electrical systen probably failed."

Bill Gates says: "Why don't we get out of the car and get back in again."

No, no, no! Bill gates says "Why don't we try closing all the windows, then opening them again"!

 

[l'Hôpital]

Not really a math joke, but a true funny story:

At the question period after a Dirac lecture at the University of Toronto, somebody in the audience remarked: "Professor Dirac, I do not understand how you derived the formula on the top left side of the blackboard."
"This is not a question," snapped Dirac, "it is a statement! Next question, please."

 

[Borek]

Our physics lecturer used to say "...according to what I have already erased..."

 

[HallsofIvy]

I have always loved "obvious to the most casual observer" to mean "I have no idea how to derive this"!

There is the old story of the professor who said "No, it is obvious that", hesitated, said "Now why is that obvious?", sat down at his desk, scribbled furiously for 20 minutes, then jumped up and said "Yes, it is obvious!"

 

[Dragonfall]

A mathematician is asked to design a table. He first designs a table with no legs. Then he designs a table with infinitely many legs. He then spends the rest of his life generalizing results for tables with N legs, where N is not necessarily a natural number.

This thread is 4 years old now, by the way.

 

[Dragonfall]

METHODS FOR PUTTING AN ELEPHANT INTO A REFRIGERATOR:

Algebra: Show that parts of the elephant can be put into the fridge, then show that the fridge is closed under addition.

Number Theory: Use induction, you can always squeeze a bit more in.

Analysis: Differentiate the elephant, put it inside the fridge, then integrate.

Topology: The elephant is compact, so it can be put into a finite collection of refrigerators. That's usually good enough.

Algebraic topology: Replace the interior of the refrigerator by its universal cover, R^3.

Set theory: refrigerator = { elephant }

Numerical analysis: Put its trunk in and refer the rest to the error term.

 

[Mark44]

I have always loved "obvious to the most casual observer" to mean "I have no idea how to derive this"!

There is the old story of the professor who said "No, it is obvious that", hesitated, said "Now why is that obvious?", sat down at his desk, scribbled furiously for 20 minutes, then jumped up and said "Yes, it is obvious!"

"Obvious to the most casual observer" was always a favorite of mine as well. An instructor I had at a small community college used that one frequently. Another he used a lot was "Even my own mother could integrate that!" When he was about to do something tricky, he would say "Watch closely! At no time will the chalk leave my hand or will my hand leave my arm."

 

[jasonRF]

"Obvious to the most casual observer" was always a favorite of mine as well. An instructor I had at a small community college used that one frequently. Another he used a lot was "Even my own mother could integrate that!" When he was about to do something tricky, he would say "Watch closely! At no time will the chalk leave my hand or will my hand leave my arm."

I think we all had profs that did these things! For 2nd semester intro physics (EM+special relativity), the professor would always say things like, "from grade-school calculus we know ...". I recall the TA asking the prof in lecture "how did you go from the top equation to the second equation?" Answer: "I just integrated by parts 3 times in my head", as if it should have been obvious.

For the final, one of the problems began, "if photons have a mass, the wave equation becomes ..." followed by an equation with a bunch of dels floating around. I remember it well because I walked out of the exam stunned, just shaking my head.

I think profs get a kick out of this sort of thing.

jason

 

[molinaro]

A mathematician, a physicist and an astronomer are riding a train across the Scotish countryside.

The astronomer looks out the window and sees a sheep in the field. He points and says, "Look in Scotland sheep are black!"

The physicist sighs and says, "Now, now. In Scotland, at least one sheep is black."

The mathematician loses it! "Will you two ever learn? In Scotland there exists a field. In that field there exists a sheep. One side of which is black!"


That's actually my all time favorite joke out of all jokes.

 

[fourier jr]

hermann weyl used to say that a compact city can be guarded by a finite number of arbitrarily-nearsighted policemen

 

[Mark44]

I saw this one in a different section, and thought it deserved to be here as well. Credit goes to Cronxeh.

Six engineers and six mathematicians are attending a conference and are traveling by train. One by one, each of the engineers goes up to the ticket counter and buys a ticket to the conference. But only one of the mathematicians does. The engineers look puzzled and one of the mathematicians says, "Optimization."

The twelve get on the same car and one mathematician stands at each end of the car. Now the engineers are really puzzled. After a while, the mathematician at one end, yells, "Conductor!" On that cue, all the mathematicians pile into the rest room and lock the door.

The conductor enters the car and announces, "Tickets, please. Tickets!" He passes the engineers and punches each of their tickets. At the end of the car, he notices the restroom is occupied and knocks on the door, "Ticket, please."

The ticket slides out from under the door, he punches it and slides it back, then leaves the car and continues to the next car.

The engineers look at each other and decide how clever the mathematicians have been, and then wink at each other.

They all attend the conference and have a good time. Upon arriving at the train station, one engineer buys a ticket and they giggle at each other. The mathematicians do not buy any. This time again, the engineers look puzzled, and the same mathematician says, "Optimization."

This time all the mathematicians sit down and the engineers have the lookouts. One engineer, peers down a couple of cars and shouts, "Conductor!" Immediately all the engineers pile into the rest room, while the mathematicians just sit there. Once the engineers are in the rest room, one of the mathematicians knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please." The ticket slides out under the door, the mathematician grabs it and along with the other mathematicians, runs to the other rest room and they lock themselves in.

 

[Relay]

This one is from my High School Days. π is pie

QTπ RU/18

 

[Martin Rattigan]

Our physics lecturer used to say "...according to what I have already erased..."

We had a lecturer who was reputed to be able to make a term disappear by writing it fainter each line.

 

[Max™]

A bunch of Polish scientists decided to flee their repressive
government by hijacking an airliner and forcing the pilot to fly them
to a western country. They drove to the airport, forced their way on
board a large passenger jet, and found there was no pilot on board.
Terrified, they listened as the sirens got louder. Finally, one of
the scientists suggested that since he was an experimentalist, he
would try to fly the aircraft.

He sat down at the controls and tried to figure them out. The sirens
got louder and louder. Armed men surrounded the jet. The would be
pilot's friends cried out, "Please, please take off now! Hurry!"

The experimentalist calmly replied, "Have patience. I'm just a simple
pole in a complex plane."

Perhaps it's just from too much time learning about the Riemann Hypothesis recently, but this one killed me.

Already saw my favorites posted: What's purple and commutes? An abelian grape.
I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary, please multiply by i and try again.