Being taken advantage of.

  • Thread starter Integral
  • Start date
  • #1
Integral
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,212
56
I work the nightshift for a large company. In the past there have been coworkers who were taking math or physics courses who if they needed some help would stop by my desk and I was very happy to help them with homework problems.

Well the other night I got a call from a friend and ex shift mate who has moved to a new job in the adjacent building. One of his new coworkers, with whom I have a nodding acquaintance, is taking a General Science course and needs some help, would I give her a call.

Sure..No problem, I say.

So the gal comes up to my desk and explains that she really is not interested in learning anything, just wants the grade. Would I help her fill out this sheet of homework. They were really trivial physics questions so I started going through them with her. Next thing I know she says, "Oh I have to go", and pulls about 5 or 6 pages of these questions out of her notebook, hands them to me and says, "let me know when you are done"! Then walks away! :surprised

I am simply not into doing someones homework FOR them, i will help them on an as needed basis but this is going to far. I am trying to work up the courage to say NO. haven't yet.. but I hate it when people take advantage of my good nature. :mad:
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Likes gracy

Answers and Replies

  • #2
Integral said:
I am simply not into doing someones homework FOR them, i will help this is going to far. I am trying to work up the courage to say NO. haven't yet.. but I hate it when people take advantage of my good nature. :mad:
Your viewpoint is in agreement with mine. Your right to refuse should be held as a given by anyone asking your assistance in any endeavour.
 
  • #3
349
2
If you really wanted to be mean you would put wrong answers down :devil:.

Given her philosophy towards learning, you shouldn't have to do her work. Saying no and having her learn from it is the only way she will be able to progress in the end.
 
  • #4
dextercioby
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
Insights Author
13,108
657
She is a woman,you're a man,so i guess this story has nothing new in it...

Now,i hoped that u'd advertise this website and tell'er that,if she wanted help with homework without paying anything in return,this was the place for it.

Daniel.
 
  • #5
Integral
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,212
56
She is near completion of some form of an IT degree, she does not seem to think Physics is a need to know thing. Perhaps she is right. I am a bit biased, some knowledge of physics helps with just about everything.
 
  • #6
Integral
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,212
56
dextercioby said:
She is a woman,you're a man,so i guess this story has nothing new in it...

Now,i hoped that u'd advertise this website and tell'er that,if she wanted help with homework without paying anything in return,this was the place for it.

Daniel.
Of course I did! Sent her the link, she said she would share it with her class mates.
 
Last edited:
  • #7
349
2
Integral said:
She is near completion of some form of an IT degree, she does not seem to think Physics is a need to know thing. Perhaps she is right. I am a bit biased, some knowledge of physics helps with just about everything.

Still though, it goes beyond that. Her entire attitude towards learning is lacking in many ways. It is to her advantage that she tries to learn for the sake of learning and understanding rather than pile her work onto someone else and learn nothing.
 
  • #8
Integral
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,212
56
motai said:
If you really wanted to be mean you would put wrong answers down :devil:.

Given her philosophy towards learning, you shouldn't have to do her work. Saying no and having her learn from it is the only way she will be able to progress in the end.
The thought entered my mind, but I cannot bring myself to deliberatly sabotage anyone.
 
  • #9
Integral
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,212
56
motai said:
Still though, it goes beyond that. Her entire attitude towards learning is lacking in many ways. It is to her advantage that she tries to learn for the sake of learning and understanding rather than pile her work onto someone else and learn nothing.
AMEN! to that
 
  • #10
1,103
0
hypermorphism said:
Your viewpoint is in agreement with mine. Your right to refuse should be held as a given by anyone asking your assistance in any endeavour.
Again, agreed.

Personally I would have said no straight away but here are the options as I see them:

1. Do the work and hand it back.
2. Do the work incorrectly and hand them back (that will teach her a lesson).
3. Put the papers in the bin and forget about them.
4. Shred the papers and return them to her in a parcel.
5. Tell her 'No, I am not doing the papers for you' and hand them back. Then see if she storms off or asks what she can do to make you help her.

Her attitude is all wrong as well. I dislike some parts of my course but others I just want to investiage more. It is the way it works yet this women seems to be wanting Grades for money that she would not be worthy of. She doesn't seem to care for physics and that annoys me. I know someone else like that and if me and a friend start talking physics he says 'Physics is boring. Who would read books on Physics and take it as a subject?'. That annoys me and then he gets me with 'Chemistry is boring as well'. That really does hurt at times as I find it fasinating to learn.

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
  • #11
516
0
If you didn't agree to do the sheets and she just assumed you would, then I think you should say no on principle. It sounds to me like she is a scheming person who dislikes her subject and has few ethics when it comes to avoid having to do it.
 
  • #12
Evo
Mentor
23,498
3,046
Integral said:
I work the nightshift for a large company. In the past there have been coworkers who were taking math or physics courses who if they needed some help would stop by my desk and I was very happy to help them with homework problems. <snip>

So the gal comes up to my desk and explains that she really is not interested in learning anything, just wants the grade. Would I help her fill out this sheet of homework. They were really trivial physics questions so I started going through them with her. Next thing I know she says, "Oh I have to go", and pulls about 5 or 6 pages of these questions out of her notebook, hands them to me and says, "let me know when you are done"! Then walks away! :surprised
I can't believe she had the nerve to do that!

I know you're in a tough spot, but absolutely no way can you do her work for her.

I would tell her that you'd be glad to continue your original offer of "help", if she is willing to do the work herself and come to you if she needs some help in grasping a concept and politely hand her sheets back to her.

Of course she seems brain dead, so you'll probably have to tell her that you don't believe in doing homework for "anyone" as it will not be truly helping them understand. She doesn't have to take any tests for this class?

Have you told the person that called you what happened? I doubt that they know or would condone what she did.
 
  • #13
Integral
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,212
56
The Bob said:
Again, agreed.

Personally I would have said no straight away but here are the options as I see them:

1. Do the work and hand it back.
2. Do the work incorrectly and hand them back (that will teach her a lesson).
3. Put the papers in the bin and forget about them.
4. Shred the papers and return them to her in a parcel.
5. Tell her 'No, I am not doing the papers for you' and hand them back. Then see if she storms off or asks what she can do to make you help her.

Her attitude is all wrong as well. I dislike some parts of my course but others I just want to investiage more. It is the way it works yet this women seems to be wanting Grades for money that she would not be worthy of. She doesn't seem to care for physics and that annoys me. I know someone else like that and if me and a friend start talking physics he says 'Physics is boring. Who would read books on Physics and take it as a subject?'. That annoys me and then he gets me with 'Chemistry is boring as well'. That really does hurt at times as I find it fasinating to learn.

The Bob (2004 ©)
I am not sure how people can walk through life with so little understanding of what is happening all around them. I cannot imagine not being able to understand at some minimal level why things work the way that they do. That is what a knowledge of physics gives you.
 
  • #14
3,106
4
Reminds me of a coed, and myself a bit older, who tried to tease me as her tutor into doing her business math assignment for her. That kind of relationship seems pathological. Hopefully she has since grown to realize the reward of duty in the real world.

So many, barely adults, accept sex as a trade for grades in college. It is no better, perhaps more dishonest, than prostitution.
 
  • #15
loseyourname
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
1,782
5
You should really use an opportunity like this to get something in return. This girl sounds like a really easy mark.
 
  • #16
516
0
If she actually had to go somewhere then from the start she had no intention of staying to do the problems and came to you solely to dump her work on you. If she did not really have to go somewhere then she was lying just because she thought the subject was a drag even with your help and didn't want to put in even minimal effort. Either way she has few scruples and should not be humored.
 
  • #17
463
7
Integral said:
So the gal comes up to my desk and explains that she really is not interested in learning anything, just wants the grade. Would I help her fill out this sheet of homework. They were really trivial physics questions so I started going through them with her. Next thing I know she says, "Oh I have to go", and pulls about 5 or 6 pages of these questions out of her notebook, hands them to me and says, "let me know when you are done"! Then walks away!

I'm glad to see that this situation upsets you. Many people wouldn't hesitate to say no and that you question it even after she has disrespected you shows considerable compassion. I admire that. I agree with motai on all points, except the putting the wrong answers down. I'm assuming that was a joke. :wink:

If you do this once she will assume you will do it again. She will lose respect for you and learn nothing. You can always have me help her. She'll fil for sure then. :rofl:

Huck
 
  • #18
Integral
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,212
56
Evo said:
I can't believe she had the nerve to do that!

I know you're in a tough spot, but absolutely no way can you do her work for her.

I would tell her that you'd be glad to continue your original offer of "help", if she is willing to do the work herself and come to you if she needs some help in grasping a concept and politely hand her sheets back to her.

Of course she seems brain dead, so you'll probably have to tell her that you don't believe in doing homework for "anyone" as it will not be truly helping them understand. She doesn't have to take any tests for this class?
She is a very intelligent lady, evitently the course test are all online, I think her intent is to use the homework sheets to do the online tests (not sure how this works) She also has labs which she is doing.
Have you told the person that called you what happened? I doubt that they know or would condone what she did.
No I haven't, I will RSN.
 
  • #19
Moonbear
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
11,558
53
motai said:
If you really wanted to be mean you would put wrong answers down :devil:.

I like the way you think! :devil: :rofl: :approve:

Another evil alternative:
Wait until she calls/visits looking for the answers because they are due soon, and hand her the blank pages with one of the following responses:
a) Oh, shoot, I completely forgot you wanted me to do your homework for you!
b) Sorry, I didn't have time.
c) Hold them to your forehead and say, "I see a big ZERO in your future."

Or, you can offer her a multiple choice problem:
If a student hands their homework to Integral to do for them, which of the following will NOT happen?
a) Integral will gladly do it for them.
b) Integral will be really pissed.
c) Integral will assist them to find their own answers.
d) Integral will post nasty stories about you online.

I would probably just hold onto the papers, and when she returns explain that since she left them with you, you assumed she was coming back for more help later. Under no circumstance would I do the homework for her, and if she protests, simply explain that you already took all your classes and paid your dues, you're not about to do someone else's homework unless you get the grade for it instead of them.
 
  • #20
1,103
0
Integral said:
I am not sure how people can walk through life with so little understanding of what is happening all around them. I cannot imagine not being able to understand at some minimal level why things work the way that they do. That is what a knowledge of physics gives you.
I agree. It would drive me insane if I didn't know what I know already and potentially what I could know.

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
  • #21
369
3
putting the wrong answers down won't teach her a lesson at all. I mean, she'll learn that she can't do that with you, but she'll just find someone else and this time research them a bit more first.
 
  • #22
1,103
0
Moonbear said:
I would probably just hold onto the papers, and when she returns explain that since she left them with you, you assumed she was coming back for more help later. Under no circumstance would I do the homework for her, and if she protests, simply explain that you already took all your classes and paid your dues, you're not about to do someone else's homework unless you get the grade for it instead of them.
I like it. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
  • #23
369
3
Moonbear said:
I would probably just hold onto the papers, and when she returns explain that since she left them with you, you assumed she was coming back for more help later. Under no circumstance would I do the homework for her, and if she protests, simply explain that you already took all your classes and paid your dues, you're not about to do someone else's homework unless you get the grade for it instead of them.
This does indeed sound like the best solution.
 
  • #24
Ivan Seeking
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,707
539
I ran into a problem like this recently with a close family member. First he asked me to do some calculation for a court case that he was pursuing, which was fine, but then he asked me to fudge the calculations. Even though this is waaaayyyyyy over the line, [not to mention that obviously he thinks I can drop everything for a couple of days, for free, for what turns out to be his little scam] I think the same answer applies: I don't feel comfortable doing this. I would just explain very nicely that this violates academic ethics.
 
  • #25
Evo
Mentor
23,498
3,046
Moonbear said:
I like the way you think! :devil: :rofl: :approve:

Another evil alternative:
Wait until she calls/visits looking for the answers because they are due soon, and hand her the blank pages with one of the following responses:
a) Oh, shoot, I completely forgot you wanted me to do your homework for you!
b) Sorry, I didn't have time.
c) Hold them to your forehead and say, "I see a big ZERO in your future."

Or, you can offer her a multiple choice problem:
If a student hands their homework to Integral to do for them, which of the following will NOT happen?
a) Integral will gladly do it for them.
b) Integral will be really pissed.
c) Integral will assist them to find their own answers.
d) Integral will post nasty stories about you online.
Ok, I've got to go with Moonbear's suggestions. :rofl:
 

Related Threads on Being taken advantage of.

  • Last Post
Replies
11
Views
3K
  • Last Post
Replies
10
Views
443
  • Last Post
4
Replies
77
Views
19K
  • Poll
  • Last Post
Replies
1
Views
2K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
25
Views
4K
Replies
35
Views
2K
Replies
3
Views
783
Replies
13
Views
3K
Replies
4
Views
1K
Top