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Best way to dispose of a dead body?

  1. Jun 21, 2005 #1
    my uncle says he'd get a car axle, roll it up with the body in chicken wire & dump it into the ocean. the car axle is big & heavy, but also long & skinny so it would roll up easy with the body, and the chicken wire would hold everything together on the bottom. it's kind of funny because it's really out of character for him to think like that. does anyone have a better idea?
     
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  3. Jun 21, 2005 #2

    brewnog

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    Call an undertaker.
     
  4. Jun 21, 2005 #3
    oh how vile.
     
  5. Jun 21, 2005 #4

    Pengwuino

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    Hole

    more letters
     
  6. Jun 21, 2005 #5
    Someone once told me something about chroming vats... not sure how easy one would be to come by though.
     
  7. Jun 21, 2005 #6
    break the legs off and then stuff the body in a pillow case with a few cats i'm also trying to get rid of. stuff into the trunk of a car, and then buckle a few people i don't like into the car seats, then lay a brick on the gas pedal and send the car over a cliff where it will land at the bottom of a deep ravine and catch flame and stuff..
     
  8. Jun 21, 2005 #7

    SOS2008

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    Was your uncle a bed-wetter as a boy, did he torture small animals, and like to play with fire? If so, stay away from him!! :rofl:
     
  9. Jun 21, 2005 #8

    honestrosewater

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    Minced meat pie.
     
  10. Jun 21, 2005 #9
    Not that I have any experience in this sort of thing. But I would burn the body to the ground (however a cremation(sp?) works), then melt the gun into scrap metal, and then relax.
     
  11. Jun 21, 2005 #10

    Moonbear

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    How about the good old-fashioned garbage disposal? You'd have to take a little time to cut it into pieces that would fit though. Then follow with a good cocktail of RNase and DNase. (The Genco Family knows how to clean up the evidence.) :biggrin:
     
  12. Jun 21, 2005 #11

    JamesU

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    fourier jr, what did you do?!
     
  13. Jun 21, 2005 #12
    You could take the body out to some woods somewhere and just leave it. I think you'd be surprised how infrequently anybody ever goes even 300 feet off a path, over dead trees and through brush. I was going to say, leave it in the middle of one of the wooded patches found in the middle of some highway exit ramp loops, but some motorist might notice your entry or exit. In an area where there's a steep slope to either side of the highway down to a marshy wooded spot (we got that around here), you could stop in the breakdown lane and just shove the body out the window so it rolls down the slope, then start moving again. Do it at night and no one would notice. I have heard of car accidents ending up down there and not being found--bodies and all--until months later, by a maintenance crew.

    Of course, all this assumes that you would be okay with having the body found eventually, so long as it's decomposed enough to have no link to you.
     
  14. Jun 21, 2005 #13

    Evo

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    I love cats. :cry:
     
  15. Jun 21, 2005 #14

    Evo

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    I saw a show on that, you'll still have tell tale bones, so you would have to dispose of them.

    Fourier's uncle's idea sounds really good, I mean, well you know what I mean. :grumpy:

    The Tibetan's have a great way of disposing of bodies, they chop the body into pieces and let vultures eat it. No fuss, no muss, and nothing left.
     
  16. Jun 21, 2005 #15

    Ivan Seeking

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    I would make little green crackers out of the body...and then sell them as the solution to hunger. Yes...and I would call it Kuru Green :tongue2:
     
  17. Jun 21, 2005 #16

    honestrosewater

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    Kuru Green is people! :rofl: Okay, I seriously need to go to bed.
     
  18. Jun 22, 2005 #17

    arildno

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    Dearly Missed

    Or, you might do as that slaughterer in Berlin in the 1920's who butchered up his victims and sold the parts as horse meat (human flesh has reputedly a sweet taste, although I cannot confirm this by any sort of personal experience).

    EDIT: His name was Fritz Haarman, and he "worked" in Hannover, not Berlin.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2005
  19. Jun 22, 2005 #18

    wolram

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    I must say this thread is most distasteful, every country boy knows that you
    feed all unwanted remains to the pigs.
     
  20. Jun 22, 2005 #19
    Umm, i would say take out all the meat and gave them to hungry animals.
    Then for the leftover-skeleton, just sell it to biological class and tell them that it is artificial skeletons. Will it works?
     
  21. Jun 22, 2005 #20

    FredGarvin

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    There's a great scene in the movie 'Snatch' with Bradd Pitt. One of the characters talks about how incredibly efficient pigs are at devouring a human body in an incredibly short period of time. Just an FYI there...
     
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