# Boys don't cry!

I am a 1st year high school student.
My uncle's boy is 3 years older than me. He once told me that "Boys don't cry". But yesterday, I saw him cry because he lost his wallet. He went here and there to look for it, and even in the kitchen, toilet but found nothing...
He told me that he got his papers, and $840 in it and he intended to deposit that sum into his saving account in the bank. He earned it from his part-time job, a waiter. Is "Boys don't cry" as he once said true ? He just wanted to be like that before me, correct ? I just think if he lost them, he can call the bank and other places to stop some services..like credit cards and go make other ID cards, right ? ## Answers and Replies Related General Discussion News on Phys.org There is only one explanation. He obviously isn't a boy! Entropy said: There is only one explanation. He obviously isn't a boy! I think it is human emotions, how can we say it can or it can't ? Are you a man ? or a woman ? Anyway, I think you might have misunderstood or you might not be able to give me the correct answer because I have tried to search on the topic in the internet for many times before posting this question. But can you tell me why you don't cry ? Math Is Hard Staff Emeritus Science Advisor Gold Member Of course boys cry. All humans do. He might have really been trying to express "Boys are not supposed to cry, or to demonstrate that kind of emotion in public." This may have been something he learned in his own cultural conditioning. selfAdjoint Staff Emeritus Gold Member Dearly Missed Deniel said: I am a 1st year high school student. My uncle's boy is 3 years older than me. He once told me that "Boys don't cry". But yesterday, I saw him cry because he lost his wallet. He went here and there to look for it, and even in the kitchen, toilet but found nothing... He told me that he got his papers, and$840 in it and he intended to deposit that sum into his saving account in the bank. He earned it from his part-time job, a waiter.
Is "Boys don't cry" as he once said true ? He just wanted to be like that before me, correct ? I just think if he lost them, he can call the bank and other places to stop some services..like credit cards and go make other ID cards, right ?
Sometimes older or more powerful people tell younger or weaker people what they hope is true rather than what really is true. This is just one thread in the tapestry of why the human race is as messed up as it is.

If you accept that releasing emotions rather than suppressing them is healthy, then we would have to accept that boys who don't cry are storing up trouble.

Women tend to be better at expressing distress - it is more socially acceptable in the West for them to do so - which is probably something to do with why rates of depression are much higher in women than men, and men have far higher suicide and violent crime rates than women.

'Boys don't cry' is just another brick in the wall, like 'women can't do maths' etc. However, its only polite to pick the time and place to release emotions, rather than dumping your feelings on others inappropriately. Me, I like to cry whilst curled up under my car in the driveway. Anyone else have a favourite way to release emotions?

Note: Come on! I was kidding about the car in driveway bit. Jeez...

Evo
Mentor
Why is this in skepticism & debunking?

Anyway, variances of the saying men/boys don't cry have been around for ages. Supposedly if a man shows emotions like crying, he is considered to be weak. I think that it is ridiculous. I personally have more respect for a person that can show their emotions rather than hide them.

I think it is human emotions, how can we say it can or it can't ?
Are you a man ? or a woman ?
I'm a robot!

No, no... A pirate robot!

Anyways I was just kidding. It is appropate for anyone to cry given extreme emotional stress. But it terms of physical pain I think men need to be tough and hold back to some extent. Atleast if they want any respect from me.

LOL@at all the people actually taking this seriously

Evo
Mentor
Overdose said:
LOL@at all the people actually taking this seriously
It's an age old topic Overdose and one that bears discussing. But this isn't the proper forum, it should be moved to social sciences perhaps.

Evo, I am sorry I didn't know this should be there,
I wrote in my first post my suggestions only which I didn't know wether they would be correct or not. I told him already, and he called them yesterday.

Entropy, what will you do if you don't respect them ? if you don't respect them, will they respect you ? You guys won't talk to each other right ? Are you from Canada ?

If I'm in a foxhole and the guy next to me is crying, that is not a good thing.

JohnDubYa said:
If I'm in a foxhole and the guy next to me is crying, that is not a good thing.
Dubya, it probably just means you were telling him your political views

Hey! Calm down! Just kidding again. Jeez, lighten up everyone...

Overdose said:
LOL@at all the people actually taking this seriously
Its a valid question, especially from a 1st year high school student. I never even questioned that stuff when I was Daniel's age, and lots of people go through their entire life without questioning it.

So stop being such a big meany, Overdose. I'm telling my mummy

jimmy p
Gold Member
Humans suck, we cry for emotional reasons. No other animals do. Well maybe fish, but who would notice.

OK new theory to debunk....FISH TEARS.

i have cried my share when i was younger...
now, i'm more aware of my own psychology, and i respond rationally to it as much as i can, so i very, very rarely feel the need to cry...
i think it's about balance... if you try to suppress something instead of relieving it in some way (no jokes ), it will eventually come out as tears or violence...

balkan said:
i have cried my share when i was younger...
now, i'm more aware of my own psychology, and i respond rationally to it as much as i can, so i very, very rarely feel the need to cry...
Are you familiar with Rational Emotive Therapy? It provides an excellent approach to life, IMHO.

Gokul43201
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
jimmy p said:
Humans suck, we cry for emotional reasons. No other animals do. Well maybe fish, but who would notice.

OK new theory to debunk....FISH TEARS.
What's to debunk ? Have you never tasted sea-water ?

the number 42 said:
Are you familiar with Rational Emotive Therapy? It provides an excellent approach to life, IMHO.
no... i use my knowledge on jung psychotherapy and psychotherapy in general to analyse my behaviour and my patterns and respond rationally to them... it's working quite well...
i supspect RET is somewhat similar?

balkan said:
no... i use my knowledge on jung psychotherapy and psychotherapy in general to analyse my behaviour and my patterns and respond rationally to them... it's working quite well...
i supspect RET is somewhat similar?
I have respect for Jung and Freud, but RET is a somewhat different approach. It is often described as a humanistic, but I think of it as more a cognitive approach. Its very much logic-based, the idea being to make a realistic assess of events (rational), and getting into the habit of having your feelings (emotive) being in proportion to the magnitude of events. Thus not getting too down about things that are not that serious. It takes a bit of getting used to but its well worth the effort. I am now considered sane in most parts of the visible universe

russ_watters
Mentor
Trust me on this guys, very little impresses a girl more than seeing you cry at a sappy movie:
Evo said:
I personally have more respect for a person that can show their emotions rather than hide them.

I cried throughout the last half-hour of Lord of the Rings part 3, but this was because I was starting to hate life itself.

the number 42 said:
I cried throughout the last half-hour of Lord of the Rings part 3, but this was because I was starting to hate life itself.
hahahaaa! yea... that last half really sucked ass...

1) "oh, no we're all gonna die..." ...
2) "wait! look!"
..."pheew, someone came in the nick of time to save us"
3) walk/ride half a mile, rinse and repeat from 1)...
and then that goodie, goodie happyness ending was just about 10 times too much... i seriously considered walking out on that part of the movie...

about the RET, i think i've managed to learn this on my own, side by side with the regular phychoanalysis... i used to have quite a temper, so i simply had to learn it or i would get in trouble all the time... though, i still cannot control my emotions when people annoy me, for some reason... they can talk **** and provoke me all they want, but if they annoy me, i flip...

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Moonbear
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
the number 42 said:
I cried throughout the last half-hour of Lord of the Rings part 3, but this was because I was starting to hate life itself.