# Boys don't cry!

I actually cried a lot, though i dont really like to cry but i cant control myself sometimes. Sometimes, I even cry in my sleep...you believe in this ?
I think of some of the people I know of and their stories-especially the last duration before i wake up. True! when I walk out of my bedroom to wash my face, my teardrops are still on my cheeks and my eyes are all red, which is what i see in the mirror...I know I am so sensitive, and this might be the main reason for such strange psychology, do you also think so, Moonbear?

Haven't seen Lord of The Rings but I remember in year 4 (erm... when I was about 9) I was watching a film called 'Monkey Trouble' or something and it was about a girl who owns a monkey and they get seperated and in the end they get back together. I was fine until they got back together. Then I just cried. Dunno why I just did. No one else did. Only me. None of the girls. Fortunately at the time I wasn't a main target of bullying so it was not mentioned again. Ever.

The Bob said:
I remember in year 4 (erm... when I was about 9) I was watching a film called 'Monkey Trouble'
Monkey trouble? I think we need to start a Men's Health thread if we are going to discuss this.

balkan said:
i used to have quite a temper, so i simply had to learn it or i would get in trouble all the time... though, i still cannot control my emotions when people annoy me, for some reason... they can talk **** and provoke me all they want, but if they annoy me, i flip...
I get annoyed by selfishness (except my own - that doesn't count) e.g. pushing passed everyone else to get to the front of the queue. What do people do that annoys you?

Moonbear said:
...when something really bad happens, and losing $800 along with all your IDs probably counts (at least until you gather your senses back together and realize most of it is replaceable despite the hassle), then of course you can't really help crying... What RET does is put these events on a scale of 'awfulness'. Usually people put something like 'death of a loved one' at 100%. Once you put something like 'losing$800 + other replaceables' on the scale, it doesn't seem so bad. Of course you may want to cry or shout etc, but you probably won't do so for as long when you see that its probably not that bad, relatively.

It sounds a bit 'logical', but with practice it is very useful in a practical way.

the number 42 said:
Monkey trouble? I think we need to start a Men's Health thread if we are going to discuss this.
Well it was something like that and I didn't have a choice in watching it. It was the years fun lesson, rather than work.

the number 42 said:
What RET does is put these events on a scale of 'awfulness'. Usually people put something like 'death of a loved one' at 100%. Once you put something like 'losing $800 + other replaceables' on the scale, it doesn't seem so bad. Of course you may want to cry or shout etc, but you probably won't do so for as long when you see that its probably not that bad, relatively. It sounds a bit 'logical', but with practice it is very useful in a practical way. ???? I think I am not quite following you. I can't 100% understand some of your posts. I am sorry I mean your English. Perhaps my English is so bad...British people have really special and unique tones... Njorl Science Advisor How many times does a waiter have to smile while taking crap from some jerk to earn$840?

Njorl

Njorl said:
How many times does a waiter have to smile while taking crap from some jerk to earn $840? Njorl I guess a lot, a smile on your face will take the "lookers" heart away and that is one of many ways for me to prove my strength. I am not a waiter though. But my job is to smile with all the people I meet, and to listen to their ideas, finally I have to think up a good 'plan' for future development. Poor people are everywhere, if you are a rich man, why don't you sleep at home night and day, doing nothing ? Why do you have to come to restaurants ? Is it only to free your craps around, and then ask someone to clean up your mess ? Hey Njorl, look! <(^.^)/ I am smiling perhaps because I think i already take some craps. I need to bake them! then go make some sauce for a nice super. Ready ? Go! the number 42 said: I get annoyed by selfishness (except my own - that doesn't count) e.g. pushing passed everyone else to get to the front of the queue. What do people do that annoys you? it's pretty hard actually... people who are condescending without knowing it (or pretending to not know it), or people who repeat what other people have told them in order to seem clever (even though some of the stuff they repeat to you is something you have told them just one day earlier ARRRRGGGHH!!!!)... but i think #1 is people who talk alot but don't pay attention to what others say... which often includes following misinterpretation and straw man arguments... (i would stay out of political forums if i knew what was best for me) ... oohhh... and people who make a comment about one little fault in 100 statements, and then totally dismiss the rest as being just as flawed... there should be an open season for those kind of people hmm... looks like forums are actually the best place in the world to get annoyed for me... except from political discussions with some of my conservative friends... man... i need to find out why i find those things so incredibly annoying... Moonbear Staff Emeritus Science Advisor Gold Member the number 42 said: What RET does is put these events on a scale of 'awfulness'. Usually people put something like 'death of a loved one' at 100%. Once you put something like 'losing$800 + other replaceables' on the scale, it doesn't seem so bad. Of course you may want to cry or shout etc, but you probably won't do so for as long when you see that its probably not that bad, relatively.

It sounds a bit 'logical', but with practice it is very useful in a practical way.
Maybe useful if you're a computer and can be programmed to decide that "this is only a 20 on a scale of 100, and I'm only supposed to cry for things over 50." C'mon. You don't need to rationalize it like that, just if it bugs you, let it out, and sure, when it's something replaceable that was lost, you will just more quickly recover, but sometimes it's easier to just cry, rant and rave for 20 minutes, then once you're calmer and have that all out of your system, start calling all the places you need to get new IDs and cancel credit cards (and talking to those people will just make you cry again).

Moonbear said:
Maybe useful if you're a computer and can be programmed to decide that "this is only a 20 on a scale of 100, and I'm only supposed to cry for things over 50." C'mon. You don't need to rationalize it like that, just if it bugs you, let it out, and sure, when it's something replaceable that was lost, you will just more quickly recover, but sometimes it's easier to just cry, rant and rave for 20 minutes...
The problem is the things people do & say during the ranting and raving 20 mins e.g. road rage. Usually these are things they wouldn't have done had they felt more calm. Also, many people can't restrict it to 20 mins, but keep it up for much longer e.g. thinking about it in bed at night for weeks.

By the way, on average girls cry for things over 3 on the scale. No researchers yet have seen the need to find the crying point for boys :tongue2:

Deniel said:
???? I think I am not quite following you. I can't 100% understand some of your posts...British people have really special and unique tones...
Don't worry about it, Daniel. If I reread my posts I usually don't know what I was on about either

Really, but don't worry Graham, Deniel will try to understand you as much as you want...

Deniel said:
Really, but don't worry Graham, Deniel will try to understand you as much as you want...
I have never known such kindness... WAAaaaAAHH

Actually there are ppl that don't cry.
Or stopped crying after some event (somone dear died e.g.).
Its just a way of expressing grief, anger, shame.
For some the threshold for starting to cry is higher than in others.
Children have a very low threshold, scare them: crying.
They fall and hit their knee: crying.
In some cases where an individual has experienced something that really hit them hard, their threshold moves up that much they never cry again (that is until something surpases that threshold).

Man this looks so nice, it makes me

(This is just my opinion, feel free to not agree :surprise: .)

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i think thats true, their threshold gets raised and it would take something like a parents death to make them cry, if they already experienced that then maybe nothing can maek them cry again.

I personally haven't had a good cry in over 4 years. I've walled up my emotions and thus haven't been able to cry all that much lately. I regret it very much because I really do want to be in touch with my emotions again.

Moonbear
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
Marijn said:
Actually there are ppl that don't cry.
Or stopped crying after some event (somone dear died e.g.).
Its just a way of expressing grief, anger, shame.
For some the threshold for starting to cry is higher than in others.
Children have a very low threshold, scare them: crying.
They fall and hit their knee: crying.
In some cases where an individual has experienced something that really hit them hard, their threshold moves up that much they never cry again (that is until something surpases that threshold).

Man this looks so nice, it makes me

(This is just my opinion, feel free to not agree :surprise: .)
To some extent that's true, but not completely so. Sometimes it takes falling in love with someone who allows you to feel safe enough to express your emotions again to learn to cry again.

But it is interesting that the threshold for crying does change as we age. Afterall, with babies, it's their sole means of communication, a cry can mean ANYTHING, and as we get older, crying takes on more and more specific meaning. It really does seem to signal a feeling of helplessness, doesn't it? As we get older and can take care of more things for ourself, we don't feel as helpless as often, so don't cry as much. Does that make any sense?