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Calling All Evil Thinkers!

  1. Oct 16, 2014 #1

    lisab

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    Like most places of employment, my work does not have assigned parking. But everyone parks in the same dang places every day, and they (quite mistakenly) come to think of that spot as THEIR spot.

    Well here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest of the US, we get much rain. Much, much rain. And the rainy season has started -- it is Fall, ya know. And it is dark late into the morning. In the middle of winter we arrive at work in the dark, and leave in the dark. (Yes I know you Nordic/Alaskan/Canadian/Russian PFers are not going to feel much sympathy for me on this point!)

    So I have this coworker who has shifted his work hours a bit later. Now, he gets in at 8:00. He has habitually taken a prime parking spot near the door. I traditionally have taken a parking spot further out, and I get to work at 7:00 (on a good day ;)).

    I've recently started taking his parking spot. I mean, on a cold, dark, rainy morning, why wouldn't I?

    This has started what I would call a war. He parks so close to my driver side that I have to climb in from the passenger side! And he laughs about it!

    I should say here, he and I are VERY good friends. We go on camping trips together, drink beer together, and share work/life secrets. So this "war" does not have any true animosity.

    But -- I NEED TO GET THIS GUY BACK!!!! In the worst way!!! Well not the worst way, we still need to be able to laugh about it later.

    I should add, he's the building superintendent and he could make my work life miserable if I go too far (e.g., turn my office as cold as a meat locker, make my lights blink, etc.).

    So...what practical joke ideas do you have? What can I do to give him a nice, fat "OMG!!" moment, but not endanger our friendship?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 16, 2014 #2

    nsaspook

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  4. Oct 16, 2014 #3

    Simon Bridge

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    He locks his car and has a security alarm?
    What kind of car is it, and what sort of budget are we talking about?

    Just being annoying you can build a simple circuit that makes a loud beeping when it is shaken and shuts up when it's still and tape it to the car. But ideally you want something related to parking very very close. There is always putting traffic cones around your car after you park ... historic gags like dismantling the car and reassembling it someplace awkward are much tougher to do these days.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2014
  5. Oct 16, 2014 #4
    Ask another friend to block his driver's side and box him in.
    Fake an emergency and then guilt him into stop doing that.
    Leave a box of kittens on the spot he parks*.
    Get some meta-materials and cloak it.

    *make that skunks.
     
  6. Oct 16, 2014 #5
    People act like this in the Pacific Northwest? I thought everyone up there was all like liberal and progressive and nice and harmless....with beards. Thank you, lisab. You just shot my image of the Pacific Northwest.
     
  7. Oct 16, 2014 #6
    Fake parking tickets (fining him drinks?)
    Paintings:
     
  8. Oct 16, 2014 #7

    Simon Bridge

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    Make up a sign for a fake company like - Wash your toilets by hand, Inner thigh massages or something to that effect. Put your targets phone number on the sign and then put the sign on the passenger side of the car. If I'm reading the situation right - the passenger side is the side that is close to your car ... so he won't notice it.

    I'm on the other side of the Pacific - to me, "pacific north-west" makes me think "Australia" or something.
    Curious: is there a "pacific north-east" in the US?
     
  9. Oct 16, 2014 #8

    Simon Bridge

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    Official looking letter under the wipers - claiming there have been complaints about the car being the site of unrestrained sexual activity and would the owner please show some restraint in future or the authorities will be notified.
     
  10. Oct 16, 2014 #9
    TP his vehicle. Put jelly on his door handle and a piece of bread on the hood. Loosen his gas cap, on newer vehicles this should make his check engine light come on with no harm done.
     
  11. Oct 16, 2014 #10

    nsaspook

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    Smoke bomb.

     
  12. Oct 17, 2014 #11

    lisab

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    Lol, those are good. Not sure if I want to mess with his vehicle though, it's a big truck. He's one of those guys whose entire gender identity is tied to his truck.

    He keeps his office locked, but if I get a chance I'll sneak in and do a CTRL+ALT+(down arrow). (Note: if you try this yourself, the keystrokes CTRL+ALT+(up arrow) reverses it :D. Go ahead and try it!)
     
  13. Oct 18, 2014 #12
    A prank that sounds fun, if you have access to his computer, is to make a costum script for his keyboard that makes it so every ten'th button he presses is exchanged with another letter. So he writes a lot of small spelling errors all the time.
     
  14. Oct 18, 2014 #13
    Put salt in his morning coffee ^^
     
  15. Oct 18, 2014 #14
    Sell his car for cheap on craigslist. Use his email address so he won't be bombarded with phone calls.

    If you can get to his computer
     
  16. Oct 18, 2014 #15

    Pythagorean

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    Oh dear. Then you might be doing him a favor!
     
  17. Oct 18, 2014 #16
    Yes we are, and it has been rainy recently. However, it's still kind of warm and the humidity is so high, at least according to accuwheather. This is a confusing time for me because I've been so used to wearing shorts for the past 4 months, it seems uncomfortable to put long pants on. Plus, I've been walking around in flip-flops for 4 months too and it seems a pain in the arse to put socks on. So what I seem to do in this transitionary period is continue to wear the shorts and the flip flops, but carry around a jacket. Kinda weird, I know, but transitionary periods always are.
     
  18. Oct 18, 2014 #17

    Evo

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    Lisab, if he's that much of a jack@ss, I would be worried. That's not normal past one day as a joke. I would key his truck, but that's just if I wanted to be nice. Egg his truck. ;)

    Since you are 'friends" let the air out of his tires so that they are all nearly flat but driveable. Just an irritation like he's caused you. Other than that, coating his windshield with vaseline works.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2014
  19. Oct 19, 2014 #18
    Do NOT slash his tires.
     
  20. Oct 19, 2014 #19
    I am still in favor of a faked guilt trip. All others would seem to lead to an arms race. That or #8 by Simon.
     
  21. Oct 19, 2014 #20

    Borek

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    Is there a parking space on both sides of your car? Can you park backwards? (No idea how to say it properly in English.) What I mean is - if he can block your driver's door, try to park your car in such a way he can block only the passenger side. Once his prank is useless, he may stop.
     
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