Can a man and woman be friend?

  • Thread starter sourlemon
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  • #51
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Yes, it is possible.
One of my closest friends is female and I've known her for about 7 yrs.
Beer buddy would probably be a better discription.
Funny thing is I don't feel any sexual attraction towards her even after several drinks.
This is probably because after 4+ drinks she starts to bore me to death by telling me about other women she doesn't like...
 
  • #52
Raine
I think this all depends on your definition of a friend. If you have about 0 things in common with someone, would you consider them a friend? And by in common, I mean they don't have the same hobbies, they don't think like you, talk like you, etc. In general, I find that most men don't have close friends with women simply because the women ARENT men. They don't think like men, they don't talk like men, they don't behave like men, ETC.
I love Drakkith's answer -- it is the answer I have been looking for everytime I question this myself.

"They don't have the same hobbies, don't think like you, talk like you, etc." holds true across any friendship, male/female or otherwise.

People are so surpising, though, that I think we should give anyone a listen. This one man would call me into his office, wanting to give advice. The things this man chose to speak to me about impressed me enough to make me pay attention to him, listen closer, and what a surprise. We are friends exactly because he is different. He surprises me everytime I talk with him and his friendship is one of the anchors in my life right now.

As far as can men and women be "just" friends? I don't know....don't have a good answer....if you're anywhere on the hetero spectrum ( don't mean to tread in dangerous waters here, just stating ) then that attraction will always *always* be there.

I think with anyone of the opposite sex, the key is the "decision" or the commitment to be just friends. Exactly the strength of that commitment decides whether you can be "just" friends.
 
  • #53
575
47
As far as can men and women be "just" friends? I don't know....don't have a good answer....if you're anywhere on the hetero spectrum ( don't mean to tread in dangerous waters here, just stating ) then that attraction will always *always* be there.
It won't always be there. I'm friends with some women who I'm absolutely not attracted to at all. But as I type this, I realize they could possibly be attracted to me. But on the off chance that they're not, then we could be JUST friends in the same sense that I'm just friends with my male buddies.

There are a couple of girls who I'm friends with who are in relationships, and I am attracted to them. I like being their friend and just hanging out with them, cause they're really cool. But I would like to be more than friends with either of them, because that attraction is there.
I don't think I would ever reach the point in our friendship where I would want us to JUST be friends, if I had the opportunity to be in a "more than friends" relationship with them. And that's because of the attraction; I can't get over that.
 
  • #54
866
37
All male friends I have ever had, eventually, at some point...lean in!...Nature of the beast I guess!
This comment caught my eye. How do women feel about this? As a general principle would you never give male friends a chance as a potential boyfriend or is this just a myth perpetuated by alpha-male culture? I really hope it is not true because I really can't imagine getting a girlfriend any other way (disclaimer: 24 and never had a gf).

As a male, I've destroyed 2 possible long-lasting friendships for being a bit open (respectfully and in a non-needy fashion) about my feelings with girls. It also happened the other way around once, when a younger schoolmate/friend with similar interests confessed (I saw it coming a mile away but I was hoping it wouldn't happen).

Based on my experience, I don't think an honest friendship* is possible when one of the two feels interested. Somebody is going to have to repress their feelings and/or -if it gets out- the other is going to have to pretend he/she never suggested anything if the "friendship" is to continue.

*I consider a friend anyone with a personality I like and that I can share absolutely anything with without fear of offending or alienating them. Very rare and I have had very few real friends. On a somewhat unrelated note, I have a friend who I see eye to eye with on everything... and I really, really wish he was female at times! :P
 
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  • #55
member 392791
Why would I even talk to a woman I wasn't attracted to? Unless I was forced to I guess...let alone be friends with them
 
  • #56
Rajput9572
In my opinion there are very less chances of this to be happened because at some time they will get attracted towards each other.
 
  • #57
Rajput9572
I tried searching, but I didn't find this topic. I'm just curious what you guys think. Can a male and female be friends without one being interested in the other? I see this online all the time, but I don't see it in real life that often.

In addition to that, I have another question. Would you ask the opposite sex to lunch if you have no interest in him/her?
Its depends on you and your mentellity how you think about it.
 
  • #59
128
2
What the fric is with that picture of the two people covered in rabbits? What does that have to do with the article?
Ahem.
 
  • #60
6,265
1,280
What the fric is with that picture of the two people covered in rabbits? What does that have to do with the article?
Probably this: Rabbits have a reputation of being inordinately prone to have sex at the drop of a hat, and of being, therefore, prolific breeders. There's that expression (slightly paraphrased using your term), "to fric like bunnies".
 
  • #61
16
3
Update: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/08/opinion/sunday/a-man-a-woman-just-friends.html

The article/opinion column seemed appropriate for this thread.
I really think reading an article on what you already know to be redundant kind of. Can a woman and man be friend? Yes, I happen to have a few pretty girls I am simply friends with and have no want to be in a relationship or have sexual intercourse with. So, really, I think it is a bit inane to believe it to be impossible or relatively "hard" to not be friends with a woman based on the commonly thought and debated point of view that men and women cannot simply coexist as friends.
 
  • #63
turbo
Gold Member
3,077
46
Why should a male be willing to give up on this question? I have a female neighbor that is quite willing to willing to concede here, and to open up questioning WRT to her dogs. We need to be willing to be be nice to one another.
 

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