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Caught Staring!

  1. Sep 16, 2009 #1
    So I was studying in the library, and I noticed this very beautiful girl a few rows down, and I was kinda staring at her (... ok yes, I was staring), and then she looked up and caught me staring at her. I mean, it's only natural to stare at attractive people, isn't it? It's their fault their so good looking! Anyway, I blushed (I could feel the heat in my cheeks), looked away, and ducked my head under the little partitions between the desks. I ask you now: what is the correct response when caught staring at one of the opposite sex?
    Also, do girls think it is flattering or disgusting when a guy stares at them?
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 16, 2009 #2


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    Cute response - smile, blush and look away
    Cool response - smile, talk to her, get her phone number
    Geek response - go over to her and say, wow cool mac book - what processor does it have? While totally ignoring her.
  4. Sep 16, 2009 #3

    When you lock your eyes with her, she's probably just as nervous as you are, and will turn away first if you have balls to maintain eye contact. If you look away first, she will think that you don't. But don't worry, just walk around the campus and try to establish eye contact with different girls, until they look away. Then go on and find another. Do this for a week and you will master eye contact. Then next step is to approach, but that's different story. :smile:
  5. Sep 16, 2009 #4
    Once, when I was in high school, the history teacher had me seated near the door and facing the rest of the class. I don't remember why, I don't remember if it was as a punishment, or because I had some special duty I was supposed to perform or what. While sitting there and listening to the lecture, somewhere between the French and Indian War and John Quincy Adams, my mind started to wander. My eyes went glassy and I just sat there vegetating. Then a girl screams out "He's looking up my dress." I come to my senses just in time to realize that my eyes were directed just as described and as if I had been staring. You better believe I looked away as quick as possible. I recently met the girl that I thought was the one at our 40th HS reunion and reminded her of the event, but either she was not the girl, or she had forgotten. So you still have hope. However, it was 40 years ago, so maybe not.
  6. Sep 16, 2009 #5


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    I am pretty sure it deonds on how good-looking the guy is.
    If he's good-looking, she's flattered; if he's not she's creeped out. Which is kind of hypocritical.
  7. Sep 16, 2009 #6


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    :eek: To what end???

    The way you describe it, he's going to go around trying to cow everyone on campus with dominance contests - like you'd do to establish power in a prison cell. :tongue2:
  8. Sep 16, 2009 #7
    There is some dominance involved, but women love confidence, if you hesitate then you have lost major points.
  9. Sep 16, 2009 #8
    I don't think I want to walk around campus locking eyes with every other female and be like :!!). Sounds kinda creepy to me, like DaveC426913 describes it. Next time I'll just pretend like I was actually concentrating on something very close to her, but not her.
  10. Sep 16, 2009 #9


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    Yeah, that'll work. You're the first guy she's seen do that. :tongue:

    What do you want to come of this?

    Do you want to be able to stare at a attractive woman while having no intention of making good on it? Then you're doing fine.

    But if you have any intention of ever dating an attractive woman, then waht does have a point. Women like confidence. Women like men who have the cahones to hold a gaze, smile and then approach them. To a woman, that's waht* separates the boys from the men.

    Ladies? Jump in and correct if I'm wrong.

    *see waht I did there?
  11. Sep 16, 2009 #10
    What was her response? Did she smile or frown? Did she look back again?

    Once "caught" evaluate her response for signs of what to do next.
  12. Sep 16, 2009 #11
    No, that's more creepy and doesn't fool anyone. Next time just ask her if she wants to have a cup of coffee. She might say yes. If she says no then what have you lost? You've got everything to gain and nothing to lose.
  13. Sep 16, 2009 #12
    I hate it when I'm looking around the room and NOT looking at a specific girl, but just as my vision crosses her, while looking around the room at various things, she looks at me. Before I can do anything, I'm already past her on my vision mission across the room. Now I'm thinking she saw me staring at her and look away when she looked at me. Now I look like a creepy guy staring at people trying not to get caught staring.

    Is there anything you can really do after getting caught staring? It seems like no matter what you do, you look creepy for staring and any attempt to undo that just exacerbates it.
    If you're right next to her, I can see talking to her when you get caught. But if you're across the room, how can you make that journey all the way over to her? Seriously, getting caught staring, then getting up and walking over to the person seems like the worst thing you can do. She'll probably look apprehensive and clutch her purse as she witnesses this strange stalker confront her.
    Or maybe I'm just overthinking it.
  14. Sep 16, 2009 #13
    You actually felt your face heat up? And what do you mean "ducked your head" under the partitions between the desks? Are you saying you turned red with embarrassment and obviously hid from her by moving to where she couldn't possibly make eye contact?

    I actually spend time attempting to make eye contact with girls throughout my day (Usually as I pass them while walking... sometimes from across the room in the most aloof way possible.) just to see how they react... some of them will notice, and look away quickly. Some will send out an "I'm way too good for you" signal. Others will smile and some will just eyebang the crap outta me. You just have to read them and respond accordingly. As others said, confidence is important. Don't get all over excited and stick your head in the sand immediately.

    As for your second question... most girls will find it flattering, I'd imagine, based on what I've been told. Everyone likes to notice someone noticing them. There are snobs out there... but who gives a damn what they think?

    Edit: Leeeroy Jeeeennkiinsssss: You are overthinking it.
  15. Sep 16, 2009 #14
    Usually When I notice a girl staring at me, I glance at them for a half a second with no eye locking. I don't really care that girls stare at me, I get it quit a bit so maybe I'm just use to it but it never seemed creepy to me, it's human nature. I have been caught staring before but I will usually eye lock with them if I like them, they usually don't seem to find it creepy.
  16. Sep 16, 2009 #15
    Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
  17. Sep 16, 2009 #16
    How about just acknowledging the stare with a slight nod of the head, and then go back to what you were doing.
  18. Sep 16, 2009 #17


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    Debunked hoax.
  19. Sep 16, 2009 #18
    omg :surprised:surprised, the singularity is about to collapse, I've been harboring a user name based on a lie.
  20. Sep 16, 2009 #19
    Man just smile at her and if she smiles back but you don't wanna continue things then look away... if she gives u the uhhh ur a creeper look then leave the entire area...

    if you want more to come out of it get your *** up and walk on over there. just talk casually to her, what's the worst that can happen?
  21. Sep 16, 2009 #20
    Let me clarify one thing: I'm not trying to be cute or anything when I blush. I can't control it when I blush, it just happens! And am I the only person on this forum who's ever blushed? I know when I'm blushing because the blood rushes to my face and it heats up.

    I have no intention of talking to or asking out any attractive girls. I know I'll just get shot down as soon as I leave my seat (figuratively). I don't stare at girls on purpose to make them feel awkward, it just happens, I want to know how I can minimise the damage and walk away knowing she isn't going to get her boyfriend to beat me up in a dark alley.


    This could be reeeeeeeally creepy depending on your expression when you do this. You might think you're smiling sweetly but actually your sneering or jupiter only knows what.

    Um, colossal embarassment when she tells you what she really thinks of you?
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