Caught Staring!

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Main Question or Discussion Point

So I was studying in the library, and I noticed this very beautiful girl a few rows down, and I was kinda staring at her (... ok yes, I was staring), and then she looked up and caught me staring at her. I mean, it's only natural to stare at attractive people, isn't it? It's their fault their so good looking! Anyway, I blushed (I could feel the heat in my cheeks), looked away, and ducked my head under the little partitions between the desks. I ask you now: what is the correct response when caught staring at one of the opposite sex?
Also, do girls think it is flattering or disgusting when a guy stares at them?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
mgb_phys
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Cute response - smile, blush and look away
Cool response - smile, talk to her, get her phone number
Geek response - go over to her and say, wow cool mac book - what processor does it have? While totally ignoring her.
 
  • #3
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Geek response - go over to her and say, wow cool mac book - what processor does it have? While totally ignoring her.
:rofl::rofl:


When you lock your eyes with her, she's probably just as nervous as you are, and will turn away first if you have balls to maintain eye contact. If you look away first, she will think that you don't. But don't worry, just walk around the campus and try to establish eye contact with different girls, until they look away. Then go on and find another. Do this for a week and you will master eye contact. Then next step is to approach, but that's different story. :smile:
 
  • #4
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Once, when I was in high school, the history teacher had me seated near the door and facing the rest of the class. I don't remember why, I don't remember if it was as a punishment, or because I had some special duty I was supposed to perform or what. While sitting there and listening to the lecture, somewhere between the French and Indian War and John Quincy Adams, my mind started to wander. My eyes went glassy and I just sat there vegetating. Then a girl screams out "He's looking up my dress." I come to my senses just in time to realize that my eyes were directed just as described and as if I had been staring. You better believe I looked away as quick as possible. I recently met the girl that I thought was the one at our 40th HS reunion and reminded her of the event, but either she was not the girl, or she had forgotten. So you still have hope. However, it was 40 years ago, so maybe not.
 
  • #5
DaveC426913
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Also, do girls think it is flattering or disgusting when a guy stares at them?
I am pretty sure it deonds on how good-looking the guy is.
If he's good-looking, she's flattered; if he's not she's creeped out. Which is kind of hypocritical.
 
  • #6
DaveC426913
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:rofl::rofl:


When you lock your eyes with her, she's probably just as nervous as you are, and will turn away first if you have balls to maintain eye contact. If you look away first, she will think that you don't. But don't worry, just walk around the campus and try to establish eye contact with different girls, until they look away. Then go on and find another. Do this for a week and you will master eye contact. Then next step is to approach, but that's different story. :smile:
:eek: To what end???

The way you describe it, he's going to go around trying to cow everyone on campus with dominance contests - like you'd do to establish power in a prison cell. :tongue2:
 
  • #7
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:eek: To what end???

The way you describe it, he's going to go around trying to cow everyone on campus with dominance contests - like you'd do to establish power in a prison cell. :tongue2:
There is some dominance involved, but women love confidence, if you hesitate then you have lost major points.
 
  • #8
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I don't think I want to walk around campus locking eyes with every other female and be like :!!). Sounds kinda creepy to me, like DaveC426913 describes it. Next time I'll just pretend like I was actually concentrating on something very close to her, but not her.
 
  • #9
DaveC426913
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Next time I'll just pretend like I was actually concentrating on something very close to her, but not her.
Yeah, that'll work. You're the first guy she's seen do that. :tongue:


What do you want to come of this?

Do you want to be able to stare at a attractive woman while having no intention of making good on it? Then you're doing fine.

But if you have any intention of ever dating an attractive woman, then waht does have a point. Women like confidence. Women like men who have the cahones to hold a gaze, smile and then approach them. To a woman, that's waht* separates the boys from the men.

Ladies? Jump in and correct if I'm wrong.

*see waht I did there?
 
  • #10
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So I was studying in the library, and I noticed this very beautiful girl a few rows down, and I was kinda staring at her (... ok yes, I was staring), and then she looked up and caught me staring at her. I mean, it's only natural to stare at attractive people, isn't it? It's their fault their so good looking! Anyway, I blushed (I could feel the heat in my cheeks), looked away, and ducked my head under the little partitions between the desks. I ask you now: what is the correct response when caught staring at one of the opposite sex?
Also, do girls think it is flattering or disgusting when a guy stares at them?
What was her response? Did she smile or frown? Did she look back again?

Once "caught" evaluate her response for signs of what to do next.
 
  • #11
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I don't think I want to walk around campus locking eyes with every other female and be like :!!). Sounds kinda creepy to me, like DaveC426913 describes it. Next time I'll just pretend like I was actually concentrating on something very close to her, but not her.
No, that's more creepy and doesn't fool anyone. Next time just ask her if she wants to have a cup of coffee. She might say yes. If she says no then what have you lost? You've got everything to gain and nothing to lose.
 
  • #12
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I hate it when I'm looking around the room and NOT looking at a specific girl, but just as my vision crosses her, while looking around the room at various things, she looks at me. Before I can do anything, I'm already past her on my vision mission across the room. Now I'm thinking she saw me staring at her and look away when she looked at me. Now I look like a creepy guy staring at people trying not to get caught staring.

Is there anything you can really do after getting caught staring? It seems like no matter what you do, you look creepy for staring and any attempt to undo that just exacerbates it.
If you're right next to her, I can see talking to her when you get caught. But if you're across the room, how can you make that journey all the way over to her? Seriously, getting caught staring, then getting up and walking over to the person seems like the worst thing you can do. She'll probably look apprehensive and clutch her purse as she witnesses this strange stalker confront her.
Or maybe I'm just overthinking it.
 
  • #13
tchitt
So I was studying in the library, and I noticed this very beautiful girl a few rows down, and I was kinda staring at her (... ok yes, I was staring), and then she looked up and caught me staring at her. I mean, it's only natural to stare at attractive people, isn't it? It's their fault their so good looking! Anyway, I blushed (I could feel the heat in my cheeks), looked away, and ducked my head under the little partitions between the desks. I ask you now: what is the correct response when caught staring at one of the opposite sex?
Also, do girls think it is flattering or disgusting when a guy stares at them?
You actually felt your face heat up? And what do you mean "ducked your head" under the partitions between the desks? Are you saying you turned red with embarrassment and obviously hid from her by moving to where she couldn't possibly make eye contact?

I actually spend time attempting to make eye contact with girls throughout my day (Usually as I pass them while walking... sometimes from across the room in the most aloof way possible.) just to see how they react... some of them will notice, and look away quickly. Some will send out an "I'm way too good for you" signal. Others will smile and some will just eyebang the crap outta me. You just have to read them and respond accordingly. As others said, confidence is important. Don't get all over excited and stick your head in the sand immediately.

As for your second question... most girls will find it flattering, I'd imagine, based on what I've been told. Everyone likes to notice someone noticing them. There are snobs out there... but who gives a damn what they think?

Edit: Leeeroy Jeeeennkiinsssss: You are overthinking it.
 
  • #14
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Usually When I notice a girl staring at me, I glance at them for a half a second with no eye locking. I don't really care that girls stare at me, I get it quit a bit so maybe I'm just use to it but it never seemed creepy to me, it's human nature. I have been caught staring before but I will usually eye lock with them if I like them, they usually don't seem to find it creepy.
 
  • #15
1,482
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*see waht I did there?
Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
 
  • #16
1,134
9
How about just acknowledging the stare with a slight nod of the head, and then go back to what you were doing.
 
  • #17
negitron
Science Advisor
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Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Debunked hoax.
 
  • #18
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omg :surprised:surprised, the singularity is about to collapse, I've been harboring a user name based on a lie.
 
  • #19
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Man just smile at her and if she smiles back but you don't wanna continue things then look away... if she gives u the uhhh ur a creeper look then leave the entire area...

if you want more to come out of it get your *** up and walk on over there. just talk casually to her, what's the worst that can happen?
 
  • #20
836
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Let me clarify one thing: I'm not trying to be cute or anything when I blush. I can't control it when I blush, it just happens! And am I the only person on this forum who's ever blushed? I know when I'm blushing because the blood rushes to my face and it heats up.

I have no intention of talking to or asking out any attractive girls. I know I'll just get shot down as soon as I leave my seat (figuratively). I don't stare at girls on purpose to make them feel awkward, it just happens, I want to know how I can minimise the damage and walk away knowing she isn't going to get her boyfriend to beat me up in a dark alley.

tchitt said:
You actually felt your face heat up? And what do you mean "ducked your head" under the partitions between the desks? Are you saying you turned red with embarrassment and obviously hid from her by moving to where she couldn't possibly make eye contact?
Yes.

hypatia said:
How about just acknowledging the stare with a slight nod of the head, and then go back to what you were doing.
This could be reeeeeeeally creepy depending on your expression when you do this. You might think you're smiling sweetly but actually your sneering or jupiter only knows what.

Sorry! said:
if you want more to come out of it get your *** up and walk on over there. just talk casually to her, what's the worst that can happen?
Um, colossal embarassment when she tells you what she really thinks of you?
 
  • #21
575
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Let me clarify one thing: I'm not trying to be cute or anything when I blush. I can't control it when I blush, it just happens! And am I the only person on this forum who's ever blushed? I know when I'm blushing because the blood rushes to my face and it heats up.
Yeah that happens to me when I'm kinda embarrassed. I get that warm feeling and just hope that it's not visible.
I have no intention of talking to or asking out any attractive girls. I know I'll just get shot down as soon as I leave my seat (figuratively). I don't stare at girls on purpose to make them feel awkward, it just happens, I want to know how I can minimise the damage and walk away knowing she isn't going to get her boyfriend to beat me up in a dark alley.
Try only staring at the pretty girls up close. I can see that as an extricable situation where you just smile and say something non-creepy when she notice's you staring. But I don't know a man in the world who can get you out of the long distance stare while saving face. Maybe Will Smith from the movie Hitch, but that's about it. That was a chick flick, but I have to admit that dude was smooth.
 
  • #22
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I can tell you are young, I used to be the same way. Then life happens and you realize how short it is and that opportunities are limited. Just go for it. Talk to her. You focus on the negative too much. Yeah it will be awkward if she doesn't like you, but what if she does? That feeling will be amazing!
 
  • #23
DaveC426913
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I have no intention of talking to or asking out any attractive girls. I know I'll just get shot down as soon as I leave my seat (figuratively).
They know you know this. Which is why a guy who is confident enough to risk getting shot down is very attractive to them.

Yes. 9 out of 10 girls will say no. But the 10th one might not.

By the way, saying no is something to take personally, a girl who lets a complete stranger approach her is also taking a gigantic risk - and I'm not just talking about her ego. They just can't afford to. The upshot is that those other 9 girls might like you just fine under any other more favourable circumstances. Think about that.
 
  • #24
BobG
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There's a technique to checking out the women. It might be a slightly different situation than getting caught in the library, but the overall strategy is the same. The man's gaze should always be moving towards the woman's eyes, even if it sometimes takes a little longer to get there than planned.

In other words, when checking out a woman, you start from the feet, moving your gaze upwards towards the eyes, being sure not to move your shoulders or head. Once your eyes have met, you can smile, start talking, what have you.

If you get caught staring at a woman in the library, the same tactic should be used to recover. You continue moving your eyes towards the woman's eyes, then maintain contact while smiling or starting a conversation, etc. (You're caught, so what in the world do you have to gain by pretending you weren't staring.)

The key difference between the flattery of being noticed and being creeped out is where the eyes end up. The guys that move their gaze from the eyes to the body are pretty much dissing the girl as a person, but, hey, they'd accept a night in the sack if forced. It's insulting and creepy. Ending the encounter with eye contact, and even some conversation or a smile, ends the encounter with interest in the girl herself; not just her body.
 
  • #25
Moonbear
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How about just acknowledging the stare with a slight nod of the head, and then go back to what you were doing.
That's what I was thinking. A nod, a smile, or a little wave, something to let her know you WERE staring and are glad you finally caught her attention. If you immediately look away, she won't know if you were really interested or it was just chance you both looked up at the same time.
 

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