Collection of Lame Jokes

  • #4,101
Borg
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Let themselves go from where?
Letting oneself go is an idiom that means to not care about your weight.
 
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  • #4,102
ISamson
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Letting oneself go is an idiom that means to not care about your weight.
Thanks.:smile:
:oldlaugh: :oldlaugh:
 
  • #4,103
jtbell
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Did you hear about the band of cannibals who captured the Lord of the Jungle? Afterwards, their feasts became insufferable because they insisted on playing the Tarzan's tripes forever.
 
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  • #4,104
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Did you hear about the band of cannibals who captured the Lord of the Jungle? Afterwards, their feasts became insufferable because they insisted on playing the Tarzan's tripes forever.
That one’s a stretch.
 
  • #4,106
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That one’s a stretch.
Didn't strike a cord with me either.
 
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  • #4,107
256bits
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Didn't strike a cord with me either.
Although, the percussionists did take a lot of ribbing.
 
  • #4,108
davenn
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pick fight with wife.gif
 
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  • #4,109
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"With this new App on your smartphone you can pretend you were at home!"
"Great. May I see the office version?"
 
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  • #4,110
davenn
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being watched.jpg
 
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  • #4,111
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I asked about the NSA once, and was told there is No Such Agency.
 
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  • #4,112
Ibix
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Before judging someone, first walk a mile in their shoes.

That way you're a mile ahead and you've got their shoes.
 
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  • #4,113
Ibix
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I asked about the NSA once, and was told there is No Such Agency.
But there Clearly Is A Fairly Big Item in the budget for it.
 
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  • #4,114
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I asked about the NSA once, and was told there is No Such Agency.
I had a phone call this morning with my friend. I placed a lot of crucial words in it, you know, bomb, Jihad and some more of this kind. What shall I say. It's fall, the potatoes, cucumbers, onions and carrots are all harvested, and someone had to dig the garden ...
 
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  • #4,115
Ibix
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I had a phone call this morning with my friend. I placed a lot of crucial words in it, you know, bomb, Jihad and some more of this kind. What shall I say. It's fall, the potatoes, cucumbers, onions and carrots are all harvested, and someone had to dig the garden ...
See also waaaay back on page 8
 
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  • #4,116
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I had a phone call this morning with my friend. I placed a lot of crucial words in it, you know, bomb, Jihad and some more of this kind. What shall I say. It's fall, the potatoes, cucumbers, onions and carrots are all harvested, and someone had to dig the garden ...
"They" always do a great job too! Guaranteed. (I hope the rest of the people here realize the answer to the question "Who's "They"?" ...)
 
  • #4,117
davenn
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yikeessss ... think I would be getting off the plane, knowing that !!

psychic convention and plane.jpg
 
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  • #4,118
davenn
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anniversary date password.jpg
 
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  • #4,119
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"How did the argument end that you had with her last night?"
"Oh, it ended up with her on her knees, robbing towards me!"
"Wow! What did she say?"
"You cannot hide forever under the table, coward!"
 
  • #4,120
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Just 366 options for the password, how bad can it be?
 
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  • #4,121
Borg
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Just 366 options for the password, how bad can it be?
Unless he doesn't remember the year either.
 
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  • #4,122
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This is why I got married on Valentine's Day. The whole sexual-organs-of-plants industry reminded me every year.
 
  • #4,123
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This is why I got married on Valentine's Day. The whole sexual-organs-of-plants industry reminded me every year.
Lol, me, too. But only because an appointment on Friday 2/13 wasn't available. But it didn't help anyway.
 
  • #4,124
DrGreg
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...an appointment on Friday 2/13 wasn't available.
Of course not. There's no such date as 2nd Undecember.
 
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  • #4,125
Charles Link
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(I learned a new word today on PF. It was used in another discussion. I hadn't paid close attention to the news when President Donald Trump first invented the word. I had to google it to see where it came from). ## \\ ## I would like a cup of "covfefe". LOL :)
 
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