Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Jokes
In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #19,251
BillTre said:
Isn't that what nothing does?
Yes, but that man wasn't British who said no-thing. It was an Indian long, long before the British built concentration camps in India. Google says that he said कुछ नहीं.
 
  • Informative
Likes BillTre
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #19,252
BillTre said:
Isn't that what nothing does?
Nothing does it like zero.
 
  • Haha
Likes BillTre
  • #19,253
gmax137 said:
Nothing does it like zero.
And then there is the American variant that takes it literally:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-ignition!

Whatever has been there has been ignited and is gone now.
(No idea whether the Russians had a countdown in the sixties.)
 
  • Like
Likes gmax137
  • #19,254
fresh_42 said:
The first time someone had the idea to name something that wasn't there
Harvey? Is that you?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes BillTre, Bystander and gmax137
  • #19,256
fresh_42 said:
The downside of this thought is, that I bet it was an accountant.
I thought accountancy was based on the surreal number system.
 
  • #19,257
DrGreg said:
I thought accountancy was based on the surreal number system.
Depends on whether or not they are honest. If not, then it's based on the imaginary number system.
 
  • Haha
Likes DennisN
  • #19,258
BillTre said:
Isn't that what nothing does?
Not quite. Nothing really matters...to me.*

* Anyway the wind blows.
 
  • #19,259
1718073154536.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DennisN, dwarde, BillTre and 2 others
  • #19,260
fresh_42 said:
And then there is the American variant that takes it literally:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-ignition!
Is this the case? When Apollo XI lifted off, there was a zero, and ignition is at t - 5 seconds.

 
  • #19,261
1718110518646.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DennisN, collinsmark, jack action and 4 others
  • #19,262
Screenshot 2024-06-11 at 7.32.46 AM.png
 
  • Haha
Likes DennisN
  • #19,263
I shaved my head completely for Summer. Now, when I enter a room, I ask: " Did someone rub a lamp twice?".
 
  • Haha
Likes DennisN and fresh_42
  • #19,264
DrClaude said:
Is this the case? When Apollo XI lifted off, there was a zero, and ignition is at t - 5 seconds.


artistic freedom
 
  • #19,266
1718126343427.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DennisN, jack action, phinds and 2 others
  • #19,267
1718130264146.png
 
  • Like
Likes DennisN, BillTre and WWGD
  • #19,269
Finally home after a long day. Sofa so good.
 
  • #19,271
renormalize said:
Maybe that's the result of him clawing his owner as he was parking.
 
  • Haha
Likes Ibix
  • #19,272
1718156759145.png
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes DennisN, davenn, WWGD and 4 others
  • #19,273
"Man walks down the street in that poncho, you know he ain't afraid of anythin'."
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DennisN, davenn, fresh_42 and 2 others
  • #19,274
Orodruin said:
A priest, an imam, and a rabbit enter a blood bank to donate. The receiving nurse asks for their blood type:

- I am a type-A, says the priest.

- I know I am type-B, says the imam.

The rabbit looks a bit lost and finally stammers:

- I think … I think … I am a type-O
The Taiwanese priest is a Tai pei personality.
 
  • #19,275
My friend Patrick changed his name to Joseph. Now his an expat.
 
  • Like
Likes DennisN
  • #19,276
Hey, I want my confocal hyperbola too:
Screenshot_20240612_114023_Samsung Internet.jpg

Where can I get one ??!!
 
  • #19,277
WWGD said:
Hey, I want my confocal hyperbola too:
View attachment 346831
Where can I get one ??!!

The question is, to figure out which Aurelius is meant. My proposal:
1718208502616.png


So look out for the nearest hippobola! Unfortunately, a quick search didn't show any hippobolas under King Julien's reign.
 
  • #19,278
61a87b56184a0.jpg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes dextercioby, DennisN, davenn and 3 others
  • #19,279
My date said she was going to the bathroom and used the front door.
How stupid can you be?
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes dwarde, BillTre, Ibix and 1 other person
  • #19,280
1718228487427.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes DennisN, jtbell, davenn and 4 others
  • #19,281
1718234588016.png
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes collinsmark, BillTre, DennisN and 2 others
  • #19,282
another day in Phoenix, AZ
hot out there.jpg
 
  • Wow
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes BillTre, Wrichik Basu, Borg and 5 others
  • #19,283
Wow ...imagine staying up till 9pm

apologies to older folk.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes collinsmark, Gifovaco and DennisN
  • #19,284
davenn said:
Wow ...imagine staying up till 9pm

View attachment 346851
Don't forget the naps, the 'advanced' afternoon delights....
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #19,285
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
Likes davenn

Similar threads

  • General Discussion
12
Replies
398
Views
19K
  • General Discussion
2
Replies
49
Views
3K
Replies
0
Views
627
  • General Discussion
8
Replies
272
Views
23K
  • General Discussion
Replies
7
Views
2K
  • General Discussion
Replies
5
Views
867
  • General Discussion
6
Replies
185
Views
6K
Replies
15
Views
3K
Replies
21
Views
2K
  • Feedback and Announcements
Replies
2
Views
994
Back
Top