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Confused by girl on facebook

  1. Jul 11, 2013 #1
    I recently decided to message a girl that I like on Facebook. It went well; the best part was she was asking questions that would keep the conversation going. Then all of the sudden she just didn't reply. It's been about a week since we messaged and we haven't talked since. What is she trying to say? Interested? Not interested? I'm confused.
  2. jcsd
  3. Jul 11, 2013 #2
    Not interested...

    However, they change their minds faster than the frequency BBC2 broadcasts on, so stay tuned buddy, you just might hear from her tomorrow :smile:
  4. Jul 11, 2013 #3
    Can you elaborate as to why you think she isn't interested, so that I can know in the future? I'm kind of new to this.
  5. Jul 11, 2013 #4
    Ok, here's the part I'm concerned with right here:

    It's like having a fish on a hook. You had her on the hook for a little bit, she was swishin and swashin as you were attempting to "reel her in," but she got away. It's as simple as that. Why? Well, men have been asking themselves that since time immemorial. There doesn't have to be a reason, it is what it is. It probably has nothing to do with you. She probably talks to dozens of guys just like you and has dozens of unreturned messages she hasn't got to. If you really like her, you have to re-bait your hook and cast your line again. If she still doesn't bite, she probably caught the gulf stream while you weren't looking and is long gone. Time to move on, there's plenty of more fish in the sea.
  6. Jul 11, 2013 #5


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    Do you know this girl in real life or is it one of those scary she might be a he fb things o.0
  7. Jul 11, 2013 #6
    Ok I see what you mean. Just some further background: that was the first time we'd ever spoken via the Internet/phone, so a week gone without talking isn't unusual. Also, we both go to the same private school that has maybe 60 kids in the high school. More girls than guys so she doesnt necessarily get all that much attention. I suppose I'll set my bait again and recast.
  8. Jul 11, 2013 #7
    Yes, we've been friend/acquaintances for a few years now.
  9. Jul 11, 2013 #8
    Atta boy! :smile:

    That's bizarre. What does facebook have to do with anything if you see her everyday at school. Can't you read the vibes from the face to face?
  10. Jul 11, 2013 #9
    The thing is I haven't really thought about being more than friends until recently. At school we tease each other all the time. Nothing mean just joking around. Other than that she seems friendly and happy to talk.
  11. Jul 11, 2013 #10
    Hmm, idk. I'd probably try to find something your both interested in and use that to develop a "collateral" online relationship. Say she's interested in cats. Send her your "picture of the day" of some cute cat picture you found on the internet, just for fun. I know it sound it sounds cheesy, but it could be anything she's interested in. Then she'll come to expect that in her inbox to make her smile everyday, and you got her back on the hook. At this point, then you can use your online "secret friendship" to approach her at school, etc. Then, in the not too distant future, you invite her over to your house to see your ant farm and frog collection, and your in! Go get em' KC! :smile:
  12. Jul 11, 2013 #11
    The hilarious part about that is she is really into cats! I will be sure to take your advice. Thank you.
  13. Jul 13, 2013 #12


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    You realize that all your angst will go away if you just ask her out.

    I know that's not easy. But chatting back and forth is not something that she's going to have a vested interest in if it doesn't go anywhere. Not replying for a while doesn't mean that she's not into you. It means that it's not a high priority for her. Once she know you're interested in her, I suspect her priorities might change.
  14. Jul 13, 2013 #13


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    It's the internet. Some people (like myself) don't feel the need to reply to every message sent. Often times, I just get up and leave with out saying anything, so I personally wouldn't read anything into it. People know this about me, and often hate this fact about myself, but meh, it's the internet and I don't care.

    Other than that I agree with Choppy. Just ask her out, girls love bagels.
  15. Jul 17, 2013 #14


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    My guess is she met a guy she's interested in.

    Hard to say , maybe she just wasn't in front of her screen?
  16. Jul 17, 2013 #15
    She uses Facebook on her phone.
  17. Jul 21, 2013 #16
    Without chat logs I can't judge what the true reason is. So taking a guess in the dark, it's probably either:
    A. If you're one of those awkward guys, and she outranks you socially, she was just trying to be polite. She no longer wants to maintain the conversation and is hoping you get a clue.
    B. She wants to test the waters and see if you'll take the move to pursue her. Occasionally girls get tired of having to put all the effort into the conversation and feel like the guy isn't interested. They leave some space and wait for the guy to make the move. If the guy doesn't go for it, they either move on or get even more clingy.

    My advice to you is not to message her again. Especially not to ask her trivial questions, that is always obvious to females. Good luck mate.
  18. Jul 21, 2013 #17
    I'm not socially awkward. As I stated above, I have no trouble striking up a conversation and making her laugh. What would you suggest I do if not message her then?
  19. Jul 22, 2013 #18
    Alright just checking mate. Would you be up for sharing some of the logs towards the end of the conversation? Just so I can get an idea of how the conversation came to rest.

    Also it would help to know what you two generally talk about, if you've ever hung out out of school, and whether your conversations tend to be superficial or meaningful.
  20. Jul 22, 2013 #19
    Well it started out as just casually chit chat about or summers, but at the end, she asked if I was excited to be a senior. I honestly responded and said that I was scared and unsure about my senior year. She responded by telling me that she was scared and uncertain about her upcoming junior year. I then sent back listing things to look out for and advice towards those things and then it just stopped.

    Generally (in person) we just talk about whatever is going on at the time. Nothing to serious. No we've never hung out outside of school.
  21. Jul 22, 2013 #20
    Hmm from what you've told me, it doesn't really seem like you two have too much going on right now. Maybe she's hoping for more? Or maybe she's just bored about talking about school with you. She did admit fears you to though, which demonstrates vulnerability. So my advice to you is if you aren't afraid to be rejected, to not give up just yet. You could take a few routes though, definitely avoid simply saying Hi.

    A. One thing I love doing is pretending to show interest in the friend, preferably a less attractive one, of the girl I'm actually after. I'm not sure if that would work in your situation though, as you two haven't seen each other of out school.
    B. You could leave her a message informing her of plans you already have, and invite her to come along. Make sure these are group plans though and you want her to know that these plans are happening with or without her.
    C. Ignore her entirely. If more than two weeks have passed, and she hasn't made any effort to come to you then move on with life entirely. Don't look back and don't ever get tempted to even say hey to her.

    I'd probably go with C. If a girl isn't already interested, there isn't much you can do. First impressions are pretty big in my books.
  22. Jul 22, 2013 #21
    Well, it has been two weeks, but she was out of town without Internet for one of them. I think I will message her tomorrow, and then see where it goes.
  23. Jul 25, 2013 #22
    IMO, you should have just asked for her phone number at some point, which is much better than being just a buddy in a sea of a thousand facebook profiles.

    Lots of times, there are brief friendships and acquaintanceships where both people are simply interested in talking, but at some point one or both people move on a week or two later. It happens. It's natural.

    What you should never do however is try to get her to be interested when she isn't. And if she stops replying to your messages, don't send any more.
  24. Nov 9, 2013 #23


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    This. I had to learn that the hard way.
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