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Cultural differences

  1. Jan 31, 2006 #1
    CULTURAL DIFFERENCES:

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
    1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not
    for smoking them.
    2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still
    drink their beer.
    3. a. You can legally kill yourself
    b. You can legally be killed
    4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that
    nobody hates you.
    5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else
    thinks Copenhagen is your capital.....
    6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by
    saying it's a national tradition.
    7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save
    your country.
    8. You live in the most densely populated country in
    Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
    9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war
    is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys,
    blame the Germans.
    10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
    1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them
    intelligibly.
    2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will
    do it in your country.
    3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call
    it beer.
    4. You are either
    a. like the Dutch, just less efficient
    b. like the French, just less romantic
    c. like the Germans
    5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate.
    The best beer.
    6. No one knows anything about you, except for the
    Dutch and French and they make fun of you.
    7. More scandals in a week than any other country in
    a decade.
    8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody
    cares.
    9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary,
    or sex-offenders.
    10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
    1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
    2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for
    the first time.
    3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
    4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
    5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late
    night films on the 'alternative' films channel.
    6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other
    people's countries.
    7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film
    star.
    8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most
    famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
    9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just ****
    in the street.
    10. People think you're a great lover even when
    you're not.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
    1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
    2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it.
    3. You can call Budweiser beer.
    4. You can be a crook and still be president.
    5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to
    do anything.
    6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
    7. You get to be really obese.
    8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever
    made and nobody seems to care.
    9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
    10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
    1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
    2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
    3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year
    and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.
    4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
    5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
    6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians
    in football.
    7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
    8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing
    - its fairly spacious.
    9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with
    stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins -
    and they believe you.
    10. You can actually get bored with blondes.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
    1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.
    2. Warm Ale.
    3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of
    cricket.
    4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major
    sporting events.
    5. Union Jack/George's Cross underpants.
    6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
    7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still
    a world power.
    8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
    9. Ditto changing underwear.
    10. Beats being Welsh.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :
    1. Yoo arnae Sassenach (English) !
    2. Yoo arnae English!
    3. Yoo arnae English!
    4. Yoo arnae English!
    5. Yoo arnae English!
    6. Yoo arnae English!
    7. Yoo arnae English!
    8. Yoo arnae English!
    9. Yoo arnae English!
    10. Yoo arnae English!

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
    1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
    2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
    3. No need to worry about tax returns.
    4. Glorious military history prior to 400BC.
    5. Can wear sunglasses inside and at night.
    6. Political stability.
    7. Flexible working hours.
    8. Live near the Pope.
    9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
    10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
    1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
    2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the
    Pyrenees.
    3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes,
    Brits, etc.
    4. The rest of your country is already invaded by
    Moroccans.
    5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's
    the real thing.
    6. Honesty.
    7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in
    stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
    8. You get to eat bull's testicles.
    9. Gibraltar.
    10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
    1.
    2.
    3.
    4.
    5.
    6.
    7.
    8.
    9.
    10.

    OK, let's give them a second chance
    1. Oktoberfest.
    2. Okotberfest-beer.
    3. BMW.
    4. VW.
    5. Audi.
    6. Mercedes.
    7. On a motorway you can travel at a speed that would
    bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
    8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign
    language.
    9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
    10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not
    forbidden by law (yet).

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
    1. Chicken Madras.
    2. Lamb Passanda.
    3. Onion Bhaji.
    4. Bombay Potato.
    5. Chicken Tikka Masala.
    6. Rogan Josh.
    7. Popadoms.
    8. Chicken Dopiaza.
    9. Kingfisher lager.
    10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when
    talking.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
    1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
    1. Guinness.
    2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
    3. You can get into a fight just by marching down
    someone's road.
    4. Pubs never close.
    5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in
    second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your
    girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
    6. No one can ever remember the night before.
    7. Kill people you don't agree with.
    8. Stew.
    9. You can emigrate just so you can tell everyone abroad
    how good Ireland is.
    10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub
    at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
    1. It beats being an American.
    2. Only country to successfully invade the US and
    burn its capital to the ground.
    3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year,
    outdoors.
    4. Only country to successfully invade the US and
    burn its capital to the ground.
    5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh
    water in a canoe?
    6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and
    his/her popularity ratings will rise.
    7. Only country to successfully invade the US and
    burn its capital to the ground.
    8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover
    your house in their skins.
    9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
    10. Only country to successfully invade the US and
    burn its capital to the ground.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
    1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bar
    steward that no civilised nation on earth wanted.
    2. Fosters Lager.
    3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your
    country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs
    to you.
    4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
    5. Tact and sensitivity.
    6. Bondi Beach.
    7. Other beaches.
    8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
    9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
    10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold
    lager on the beach.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK
    1. You get to shout about your culture although
    the only real culture most Greeks have is what is
    growing between their toes.
    2. The police are even more corrupt than the
    criminals they are supposed to be chasing.
    3. You can blow your nose in the street by
    pinching it between the thumb and forefinger and
    trumpeting forth without everyone around wretching
    their stomach contents up at the sight.
    4. Old women can sport moustaches.
    5. Young women can sport moustaches.
    6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly
    bear and not get put in a zoo.
    7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical
    instrument when the rest of the world sees it as an
    instrument of torture.
    8. You are the only nation to have lost its
    marbles and still wants to let everyone else around
    the world know about it.
    9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.
    10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.
    http://www.xtratime.org/forum/showthread.php?t=44153&referrerid=21981
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Feb 1, 2006 #2

    Math Is Hard

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    I always like to think that even though we often get very silly in GD, that we're still above the marginal humor of blindly forwarded e-mails.
     
  4. Feb 1, 2006 #3
    :confused: :confused: :confused: as you see it's not a forward email!:confused:
     
  5. Feb 1, 2006 #4

    Mk

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    I liked it. Except I didn't understand what you meant by "You can have a woman president without electing her."

    :rofl:

    Its not like other ones are better. :confused: I've seen the world over, and nothing compares to the United States of America.
     
  6. Feb 1, 2006 #5
    :rofl: :rofl:
    GUINNESS!!!

    Mmmmm, that sounds really good right now. As does the stew. And number 6. And number 7. Mmmmm Guinness.
     
  7. Feb 1, 2006 #6
    Sassenach means something a LOT worse than "English" hmm or does it? :) but anyway
     
  8. Feb 1, 2006 #7
    That list was hilarious, especially the one about being Scottish
     
  9. Feb 1, 2006 #8
    i don't think canadians go nuts like that over burning the white house down. everybody knows, especially since 2003 when we decided we weren't going to attack & take over iraq, but people don't talk about it constantly as that list seems to imply.
     
  10. Feb 1, 2006 #9
    I'm with you on that one.
     
  11. Feb 1, 2006 #10
    canadians burnt the white house down????

    and if you want a woman president... you just elect her husband.

    and whats the capital of the netherlands?

    but i thought that list was pretty alright. the german one was HARSH. heh. well at least they don't have to take german as a foriegn language...
     
  12. Feb 1, 2006 #11

    iansmith

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    The war of 1812. A group of Canadian and British troup invaded Washington DC and burnt public services building in revenge for the American burning York.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burning_of_Washington
     
  13. Feb 1, 2006 #12
    toronto used to be called york :blushing:
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2006
  14. Feb 2, 2006 #13

    I'm with me on that one too. But alas, all I have is my overly expensive vodka. MM. Vodka. Best thing about being russian? Playing chess to keep warm in the winter. Then Vodka. Then the accent.
     
  15. Mar 4, 2006 #14
    Mrs Rice or Rise:biggrin:
     
  16. Mar 5, 2006 #15

    loseyourname

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    Great things about being American:

    1) You can get paid to live in either Wyoming or Alaska.
    2) What other country could even dream of having two future governors star in Predator?
    3) Over 4,000 miles of beaches.
    4) No need to adhere to the Kyoto protocols.
    5) You can anglicize cities with names like El Pueblo de la Nuestra Mujer, la Reina de Los Angeles.
    6) Is there anywhere else on earth where you can theoretically become a billionaire by drinking Pepsi?
    7) You get to unofficially govern at least twenty other nations.
    8) You can make a small fortune selling obsolete cultural artifacts (like old Levis) to the Japanese.
    9) UN? What UN?
    10) You have the right to openly practice any form of (Christian) religion you'd like, just so long as you aren't at a public school.
     
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